Rose's Day

I wake up this morning to a glistening white blanket covering everything within sight. I turn the radio on and hear that the schools are all closed due to the 8 inches of snow we received unexpectedly last night. I briefly wonder why I didn’t receive a phone call from the school like usual, but the awesome news quickly derails that train of thought. I can spend all day with Max and Anna, my 5-year old twins. I dance around the house and sing while I wake them up, although they don’t appreciate it. They are such grump-butts in the morning! We eat our cereal, and play around for a while till lunch. Eventually, I bundle them up to play outside during my coffee-date with Linda, my next-door neighbor.
“Hey, Linda, how are you? I love having a snow day today! I get to spend all day with Max and Anna!”
Linda looks at me sideways, through her bangs. “Oh, uh, that’s… that’s great, Rose” she stammers. Huh, what’s up with that? I wonder if she’s feeling well.
We spend a half-hour or so having coffee, with stilted conversation and long pauses. Somehow, today is much more uncomfortable than usual. Our conversations are usually free-running and very easy, but today she seems to be trying to steer the conversation away from the kids. She suddenly stands up and announces she has somewhere she needs to be. She grabs her coat and rushes out the door without even putting it on. Wow, that’s unusual. Our coffee dates are usually closer to two hours, not a half hour. I wonder what’s wrong with her? Oh well, I’ll go play outside with the kids.
We have a snowball fight, build a snowman, and make snow-angels. Once, I glimpse Linda at her window, watching me as she talks on the phone. She must be back now. She wasn’t gone very long. I hope she is feeling better now. Max’s face is red from the cold, and Anna says her gloves are wet. She is upset that the princess on the back is starting to pull off, and she wants me to fix it. Now!
So, we head inside to read the twins favorite story, I need a New Butt!. They giggle and read along, as they always do. Max decides today that he wants a rocket butt, and Anna wants a princess armor butt, as she always does. After a while, they settle down and fall asleep. I put them in their beds, and turn on the monitor so I can hear when they wake up.
Once they are asleep, I head back downstairs to make dinner. I pull out the carrots, potatoes and seasoning and start the roast. I set a timer to remind me to put the rolls in the oven, and I put the twins clothes they wore outside in the wash. I must remember to fix the glove once it’s dry. I have a few minutes to myself, and as I pull my book out, my eyes start watering and my breath hitches. It feels like I am going to cry. Where did that come from?
The timer goes off, so I head to the kitchen to put the rolls in the oven. I pull out the plates and silverware to set the table and head into the dining room. Everyone has their own placemat. Mine is pink with purple flowers, Joe’s is a plain dark blue, Max’s is dinosaurs, and Anna has her favorite Disney Princesses. For some reason, the twin’s placemats are not on the table. I search around until I find them in the drawer of the server. The weird things just keep happening today! I pull them out and set them at the table where they belong. I go back to the kitchen for the drinks. Joe and I have wine glasses, and the twins have glasses of chocolate milk. As I am setting the last glass of chocolate milk down, Joe comes in the door. His eyes fall on the table and he stumbles backwards while his face turns white.
“Ruby!” he yells, tears streaming down his face. “No wonder Linda called me and asked me to come home early. I thought we were passed this! The twins are gone! They died in that car accident 3 months ago! You were doing so well, I thought I could go back to work!” He turns from me, hiding his face. He grabs the phone, and walks off while muttering to himself.
What? They died? No, no, no, that’s not right. My chest feels like an elephant is sitting on it, and I can’t get enough air. I search my memories. The last thing I clearly remember it was a clear, beautiful Autumn day and we were at the park as a family. Wait. It snowed today? What day is it? The pressure in my chest continues to increase, and my head begins to pound. Slowly, out of the dim recesses of my mind, memories begin filtering in, tinted an awful reddish-brown. I remember the screech of tires, and a horrendous noise.
Suddenly, I am there again. I reach up to feel my head, and my fingers are sticky. I feel a hot liquid running down my neck, and I look around. The back seat of the car is almost unrecognizable, even from the front seat. The door is twisted in and I can’t see the kids. I panic, as I try to get out of my seat, but my fingers aren’t working. I hear the ambulance siren. I hear Joe calling my name, then “Oh god, she’s having another flashback, I got to go!” I feel his fingers on my face, but he is passed out next to me. How is he touching me? My breathing is shallow and I feel faint. My thoughts go in circles. I saw them today. They were alive today, they played in the snow. They can’t be gone. This isn’t right. I don’t know what is going on.
I can see Joe in front of me now, his mouth is moving like he is calling my name. He reaches forward, and runs his fingers on my face again. Oh my god, my babies!!! They’re gone!!!! I begin to wail, and I put my face in my hands as the truth comes crashing down on me. The world tilts as the world goes black.