The Suit Is A Problem

“Thankfully that’s done for another year. I hate that damned belt, it’s so wide it digs me right under my ribs. Why do all those people demand an eight inch black belt? Never made sense to me.”

“You say the same thing every December the 25th. How was it this year?”

“A lot of old customers quit believing, but a bunch of new ones came on, adults are a problem.”

“Did everything get put away and the animals fed? Last year Blitzen wasn’t happy, but he thinks because his name is Lightning he deserves more.”

“Yeah, it’s all done. Gotta fix the barn door again. I told him to lighten up or I’d post a picture of him leading next year, he settled right down. I am so sick of that stupid red suit I have to wear and pretending I’m fat. I’m ready to give it up.”

“Yes, dear, you say that every year too. Think of all the disappointed children.”

“I know, I know, but dang it, I love our private island and the warmth. I hate pretending I’m fat, and wearing that stupid suit COOKS me in the warm climates. And, why does everyone think we live at the North Pole? That’s a disgusting thought. Who in their right mind would live at minus 50 degrees?”

“Yes dear, are you going out before lunch?”

“Oh, yes, I can’t not. If I don’t get to surf I get fat and I like the body Adonis showed me how to maintain before being punished by Zeus. Taught me how to surf too.”

“Okay, you enjoy it then we’ll have lunch and maybe take a nap after.”

“Ohhhh? A nap? I like your naps, and they usually take off another pound or two. I don’t even eat the cookies or ...”