First Thoughts are often the Last

First thoughts are often the Last

Staring at my blackberry, thinking I'm
connected to everyone. A thousand
thoughts attempt to whisk me away.

My vision is whirring from the edge of
Wikipedia to the darkness of youtube;
trying to decide if I should say "hey" or

"go away" to this concerned beauty. Her
'voice' needles my uneasy entrenched
feelings. Felt bound and gagged that

I failed and just said "oi vey". Now i'm
forced to redeem myself from
awkwardness, like some savage

I can't be dragged by feelings of self
doubt online, because I have to reach
that feeling of cloud eight, nine, and ten.

My only wish rn
is to see her again.