Compare and Contrast

When I was a senior in college, I noticed I lacked a few English credits. It wasn’t all that surprising. My counselor was a leftover from the 60’s, and you could be discussing the most important life decisions, but he’d see a pretty cloud and wander off down the street. He was the same guy who had me take a critical thinking class when basket weaving would have sufficed. So, I found myself wandering into a building that I’d never before entered in years on campus. The class was on the sixth floor, and I was early as usual. I met a rotund fellow who was still fairly young, had a ruddy complexion, and seemed to have too much energy. He was very excited to have a senior in his class, and when I told him I’d once published, I thought his heart would explode. One of his earliest assignments was a compare and contrast essay. There was an audible groan from the class. I decided to use this as a way to show that any piece of work can be fun if you make it fun. So, I wrote something very close to the following.



I am a dog person. It isn’t that I hate cats or anything, I simply prefer the company of a canine. Unfortunately, my wife loves cats, as does my oldest son, who is seven. So it wasn’t a shock when I came home to find a cat in the house. The good news was it was box trained but mostly pooped outside, and required little clean up, because I’d have to do it eventually. Cleaning a cat box is not an enjoyable activity.

People have asked me why I want a dog. It’s kind of simple to me. Yes, a puppy will have accidents, but it’ll learn to go outside. The cat will always shit in your ficus. Your canine will protect you from intruders! The feline beats you to the best hiding spot. Even when all is calm, you can pet Ol’ Rover, but miss the cat belly by millimeters, you’ll get shredded by sharp claws!

But, no one cared my opinion, so the cat stayed. I must admit, he was a terror. He jumped from a twenty foot roof to catch a bird, fell down through the branches and landed on his feet. That cat also stayed with my young sons all the time, but a good dog is better! I have had many and they will as well. The very heart of a dog swells with the attention of his best friend. I’m not sure a better feeling exists. Dogs seem to have a heart for us, and even when a feline does have affection for you, their best interest is first.

However, there is still a mouse in my house, and that really pisses me off. You have one job!



My professor found it to be useful as a learning tool. That these essays didn’t have to be dry and boring. So he has it, but that’s what I remember. I could give you his name, because he might have a copy lying around, but who cares!

(WC: 477)