A poem dedicated to what used to be my family. |
This one's to all the kids That have too much on their shoulders Not the ones paying the bills But the ones carrying a cross and moving boulders This one's to all the kids That didn't choose religion And are such great kids That they live the life that was envisioned The kids that know life could be freeing But instead they sit there hardly breathing Living in light of God by day and spending too many nights heaving Heaving out their alcohol and sins Lying through the smoke to all their kins Rolling their overly sensitive bubbled souls on sets of pins Trying to enjoy the waters but all they see are circling fins This one's to all the kids like me This one's for those with my same upbringing I wrote this to convince myself there's a we But that's a notion to which I'm hardly clinging Because I can't even tell my mother About my closest dearest best friend Because that boy is not from our church And that makes him less then Because he will expose me to the world I'm already living in He'll fill my ears with lies So that I don't let the good lord in And not many kids my age Are worried about marriage But I'm stressing to the point of rage Thinking about the symbolic white carriage Because I'm expected a wife I've already met her I'm expected to live this life But it just doesn't look so stellar She's really a great girl It'd be so easy to fall in love She holds so much in her eyes And everyone thinks she fits me like a glove But I don't see myself happy with her Because I'd rather cuddle with him at night Whoever he is, I don't know yet But it's definitely a him that gets the vows I'll write And it's just so upsetting To think I might plan a wedding To please everyone else Except the one getting I'd say getting married But it'd be so much more It'd be the one getting squished Getting his light stomped out on the floor I've lived with it this far Done what they've wanted I'm scared I can't stop I'll let myself be flaunted Let these people parade me Feel like they've won I'll always be their golden boy And I'll have no fun A kid my age Should be thinking of skate boards Magazines as dirty as my laundry A bed room as clean as a stable But instead it's immaculate A religious requirement And my wild emotions Get stashed away for retirement This one's about the ones I live with The crazy religious nuts Living them has been so hard But it's taught me so much I can't even hate them Because they truly believe this stuff They're trying to save me But they don't know it'll be super tough Because according to their books I am sin itself I don't live in sin or partake in sin But I am Sin on the devils shelf I disrupt families and crash weddings Parades on Tv to cause mass upsetting And when you think you can stop fretting I'm in your sons head messing with the settings So listen up Ones I've Lived With I love you. I love you so much But you make me the bad guy Because while you're so righteous and holy Every other thing I say to you is a lie And it hurts me to hurt you Even with all you've put me through And I don't even know what's true Except that one day you'll hate me And I'll still be stuck loving you |