I'm sorry, I didn't take action.

I run a youth club. A place for kids to come who don’t get what they need at home. Somewhere to go where communicating isn’t about yelling and shouting, somewhere to go where they won’t see their mum punched in the face because dinner was slightly burnt, where they won’t get their step dad stealing their pocket money because he needs it to buy drugs.
The kids are a lively bunch, but they are fun and they really look up to us.

Which makes me feel even more about letting them down today.

This is the letter I wrote them

Dear Kids ,
Today I let you down. I am sorry to say it was my pride and conceit that led to me letting you, and myself down ,

Today I was at a meeting with some bigwigs, I’d been invited because of the work I do with you. Work that I freely give up hours of my time each week to do. Work that involves helping you to see that it takes courage, self-belief and stepping out of your comfort zone to make changes in your life.

At this meeting, where my input and my knowledge had been requested, we were given the latest copy of the Young People, The Way Forward Report. I didn’t need to read it. I’d looked it up online the day it was published and devoured it. The government had produced it, and yes there was some slightly dodgy stuff about young people and stigmatising, but it was the only thing mainstream that made sense in how to work with these young people well.
Stick with the kids long term, that can mean years.
Make sure there are adults they can relate to, who are fun, who they want to be with.
Make sure these adults guide the kids by showing a positive example,
Make sure these adults set high expectations for the kids and help them meet them through challenge, support and love.

So anyway the report was passed round. Some of the the heads of national charities looked like they might have read it already , though the junior minister at the meeting, I am not so sure he had. Then the chair of the meeting, the CEO of a leading children charity campaigning group, announced what a load of rubbish the report was, how the government didn’t get it. How the government had no clue.
Then, to my utter surprise, everyone else in the room began to say things along the same lines .. “written by unqualified staff , subjective . Not the way forward.”

I was shocked to hear their views. I sat there thinking, "yes I hate this government, and some of the theory in the report is ill informed, but the solutions to the immediate issues for children in there are bang on. Exactly what is needed. Its what we do and it’s what everyone should be doing instead of these short term formal interventions with a troubled youngster assessing him , allocating him a worker an then doing issue based work once a week and then after 12 weeks closing the “case” "

So what did I say when it came to my turn to contribute ?


To my shame I have to tell you, I said nothing.

I was worried that the others around the table would think that I was naive, stupid and prejudiced. Ironically I thought they might judge me as being judgemental about poor people if I supported some of the solutions in this report.

So here was my chance to take action, to speak up, To persuade the movers and the shakers in the children and youth world and perhaps change things for hundreds of thousands of young people. I was there after all as a representative of the youth clubs in the country.

So I have to confess to you, that I may have thought I was striving valiantly by spending all my free time running the youth club, but when I got the chance to truly take action to be in the arena, my face marred by dust and blood and sweat .

I bottled it.

So why I am writing you this letter.

Because I believe we all make mistakes.

The difference is those who know it and make changes and those who don’t.

I am writing this letter to you today to try to do something to address the mistake I made. I can’t change what I did, those people scattered off onto their first class carriages or in their sleek audis long ago today. But I can acknowledge to you and to myself that I made a mistake and take the first step to addressing it by making a promise.

I promise never ever will I be in fear of what other people may think of me, never will I let vanity and conceit prevent me from speaking up about what is right and needed for the kids. Never will I be a cold and timid soul.

Just as we have taught you to be brave to face your fears. Then I need to do the same.

I am sorry, next time I will do the difficult action and speak up.

Your youth club leader,

Ruth
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