My dear.

My dear
You still doubt
how much that I love you?
Even now, as we sit, in these dreaded blue gowns?

I remember, for you
The night we first met
Your skater green dress
When we danced, and you let

Me hold your sweet hand
Pale fingertips warmed
As you swirled, and turned,
Until both, you and I, on the dance floor

Were torn, apart,
for not long
But enough so, to feel glad, when we met
Once again, to that pretty slow song

That even now, you sing
Through foggy sweet
Dreams, and thoughts,
And endless doctor patient talks

My dear, your eyes,
So pretty and green
I will always be here for you,
Our little two man team.

Dysfunctional, yes
Do we argue,
of course
they said we were not ‘well matched’
apart, we were forced

but do you remember
the promise I made
when they grabbed both our hands
and lead us away

I would be back, we would leave,
To somewhere beautiful,
Skies crystal blue
Grass frightening green

And we did, my dear
Boy did we run
Stole your dads old car
Oh we had such fun!

And we stopped,
In a meadow, beneath a willow tree
Took a moment in the grass
Choccy biscuits for our tea

And I knew that I loved you
As we stared up the sky
And the partial fragments of blossom
Floated down into your eyes.

And you gave me great memories
My dear, you did
Like our first little puppy
And first tank of fish

And although the fish
Lasted, not long
As we suddenly forgot
To turn the food dispenser on

Our puppy, she grew
Greying and old
Sleeping gracefully, on the armchair
Of the house we long sold.

I will never forget,
the loss of our house
Like our first little baby
Or the loss of a spouse

But we simply couldn’t brave
The hospital bills
As they stacked and towered
Under their weight, we were to be killed

If we could not let go,
And have simply each other
No finer thing
Then you, my lover

So our modest little flat,
Not fancy, not big
Outdated and cold
But a warm life, it did bring

You filled it with paintings
From unknow artists you loved
So I too, loved their sketches
Which you placed above the tub

And the hallways, and the kitchen
And the living room, too
You admired the colours
On the canvas, they threw.

You were eccentric, always
But I loved you for that.
You were never spoken over
Or in corner, you sat

And although, now,
My dear, you are quiet
I find myself telling myself
You are simply too tired

I never thought I could leave you
In a house, without me
Where doctors lurk over
And nurses have a constant supply of tea


But I could not care
For you, the way you deserved
You were left too lonely,
Now you are constantly served,

With cake, and biscuits,
Hair brushed by little
Children, visiting, always
Their grandparents,
whos bones are now brittle

You dance, sometimes, like you did before
Or so, I am told
By the nurses,
that work on your floor

I miss you, my dear
I miss your voice, your smell
Your softness,
The sweet tales you would tell

But ive learnt to live
To iron, and clean
To cook, and dust
And generally dream,

Without you, next to me
Hand in hand, as we walk
But I will return tomorrow
And the next, and so on

Reminding you always,
of these little thoughts
Our life we have lived
The memories we have sought

In hopes of a smile,
Some sign you remember
That I am your husband
And you are my lover