Have You Seen My Keys?

“Have you seen my keys?”

“You’ve lost them again. Why won’t you do what I suggested? Always put them in the same place, then you’ll always know.”

“I don’t know. Because I can’t think of the one place to put them?”

“How about the same pocket in your purse? The one you carry has a gazillion of them.”

“No. I’d have to move whatever I keep in that pocket to somewhere else.”

“Like what?”

“Well, I keep all my lipsticks in one...”

“Why do you need all your lipsticks in your purse?”

“Not all silly, just the ones I want with me.”

“Why do you need more than one? You put it on to match whatever.”

“It’s not that simple. I need different shades because the light effects the colors and I might want to go darker or lighter. I won’t know that until we get where we’re going.”

“Okay, what else?”

“Well, all my makeup takes up another three pockets, my hair brush another, then my nail clippers, file and buffers another one or two then another two for feminine needs like...”

“Okay, makeup takes three pockets and a nail file two? God, women are so complex.”

If we weren’t, you guys would just wander around like slobs. Old sneakers, jeans and a worn out t-shirt. Just what women want.”

“I only wear kilts, my shoes are Merrels at a hundred a pop and my T’s are all new.”

You’re still just a guy and don’t get what it takes.”

“Okay how about a hook labeled ‘Keys’ and you hang them there each time. Could you do that?”

“I think so. Why didn’t you think of that before?”

“Why didn’t you?”

“You’re the guy.”

“The slob?”

“Sometimes.”

“I categorically deny that!”

“You would.”

“Wait a minute...”

“...love you.”