A Strange Feeling

{Johns POV}
It was a bright morning over a gloomy Monday at school, John sat at his desk, pondering what he would do when he got out of school, when suddenly a ruler smacked down on his desk. His teacher had noticed him dozing off, and decided that he wouldn't have any of it today.
"Wake up! If you wanted to sleep you shouldn't have even bothered coming this morning."
John sat up, surprised by the aggressive nature that his teacher had adapted this morning. All the other students looked at him with a similar look of surprise. Usually Johns teacher, Mr. Daniel was usually lenient with students, but this morning had already been stressful and he wasn't ready to deal with students that wanted to doze off in class. John looked up at the teacher, his eyes still showed signs of sleep, with slight bags under them. The teachers walked back the front of the room, and began to start teaching the lesson again. John sat up and tried to focus on the board, but one thought continued to creep it's way into his brain over and over again.

{Gracie's POV}
Gracie sat in her math class, looking up at the board and taking notes about what was going on. Gracie often tried to take notes, as she was a math tutor and it helped her teach the subjects better to other students. Her phone vibrated in her pocket and the students that sat next to her glanced over with a questionable look. She looked at the time on the clock. Five minutes until the end of the class, her phone could wait until then.
"Alright class, I want you all to study tonight, there may or may not be a test on this topic tomorrow." Mr. Harper exclaimed, erasing the chalkboard of today's lesson and putting his chalk away.
Everybody groaned, excluding a few students who mourned internally. Mr. Harper's tests were hated school wide, he had a certain way of testing that almost everyone disliked, including the few geniuses that inhabited the school. And just like that the bell had rung, students packed their things and Gracie pulled out her phone to see a text from her mom, opening it she read it to herself. As she read the text tears began to fall from Gracie's eyes and she ran from the classroom, through the halls, and out to her car.



Authors Note : This is a pretty short start, but I started writing this last year and completely forgot about it, so here it is now I guess.

{Johns POV}
John had just gotten out of first period after the bell rang and was now walking towards his second period. John shared a second period with his best friend, Gracie. Despite the fact that Gracie was one of Johns only and closest friends, people often thought that they disliked each other due to there sense of humor. The fact that John and Gracie were on opposite end of the popularity scale didn't help much with that fact either.
John had was reaching for the handle to second period when Gracie ran past him, toward the back exit into the student parking lot. John instinctively moved out of the way, catching a glimpse of Gracie's tear stained face, and watched in horror as he saw streams of tears fall from her ice blue eyes. Everyone around him started in confusion and quite a few also snickered or laughed, which had upset him. About 30 seconds after Gracie had passed, John made a decision to go after her. He walked quickly through the crowd of students, sliding past people trying to cause the least amount of disturbance possible. Once at the door he threw it open and looked around, and Grace was no where to be found. John looked toward the parking lot and saw a student get into there car, which he recognized as Gracie's, and he sought after her earnestly.
{Gracie's POV}
Gracie pushed through the students blocking her way, running through the hall with her eyes flooded with tears that the message had drawn out of her. Gracie didn't cry much so for this to happen so suddenly was surprising. The text that Gracie had received was a text from her brother. It broke her heart when she read it, and she didn't know how to react to it, so her body had responded on its own, and so she ended up in her car, crying over her steering wheel. The message read :
"Gracie... When I came home mom was on the floor with a pale face, I called the ambulance and shes in the hospital now, but you need to meet me there now"
As Gracie read over the text she reached in her bag to find her car key. Her mom was a drug addict so she didn't want to waste any time getting to the hospital, as she thought this might be one of the last times that she might get to see her mom. Gracie had been worried that this might happen for some time now, so she was always cautious about what she left exposed before she left the house. Just as she found her key she noticed her best friend and crush, John running over to her from the door she had left through.
{Johns POV}
As John hurried over to Gracie's car, her sobs began to fade into his ear - shot. He had only seen her cry this hard once, and that was when her dad had passed away, so his heart began to sink as he got closer. Once he got to her door he tried to open her door, surprised to find out that it was unlocked. He reached into the car for her hand and tried to guide her out of the car. To his dismay, she tried to shove his hand off of her. Usually Gracie enjoyed psychical affection, and to see her deny it made him immediately know something major had happened.
He stood outside the care for a few moments, thinking of what could have happened. After about 30 seconds, he got down on one knee and looked into her tear - filled eyes. In those eyes he saw a beauty he had never seen before, and his heart skipped a beat. He didn't know what this feeling was, but he had never felt it before, he had never felt his stomach turn like this. Despite these feelings haunting his being, he grabbed her hands, and this time she didn't try to resist.
"What happened?" He said, as he held her hands in his, looking into her eyes.
"I - I - I don't know..." She responded, handing her phone to John.
John grabbed the phone from her, reading the message that was on the screen. Upon seeing this, he knew what had to have happened. Outside of her family, John was the only person Gracie had talked about her mom to. He had heard all about her problems with drugs, and what that had caused Gracie to go through. Upon reading the message, John attempted to ease Gracie out of the car, in which she willingly got out of. He embraced her, feeling her tears roll down the back of his shirt, they left a weird sensation on his back but despite that, he held her in his arms for a solid minute and a half, before breaking it and speaking to her again.
"Go get in the passenger seat, I'll drive you to the hospital, you can't drive like this." He said to her, grabbing the keys from her seat in which she had dropped them.
"B-but you have classes to go to.." She responded, her voice cracking as she tried not to cry even harder.
"Gracie, you are and have always been more important than school, and now is no different. So get in. We're leaving. I'll call the school and tell them what happened on our way there.
"O-ok..." She didn't argue with him, in fact, she looked like she flashed a smile before walking to the other side of the car and getting in, closing her eyes.
John then got in the car, put his seat belt on and started the car. He looked over to Gracie one more time, his heart still thumping, and began to pull out of the school parking lot.

Authors Note : If you think the plot is a bit shaky right now, I plan to fix it in future chapters, don't worry.

{Gracie's POV}
Gracie sat down in the passenger seat, slipping her seat belt on with little effort and then faced the seat, tears dripping from her face. She had been crying for about 3 or 4 minutes now, and the tears were starting to wear thin. She knew she could still cry more, but she didn't want to embarrass herself in front of John, whom she was very grateful for when he came to her rescue. She looked over at him, his jaw was set firmly but it looked like his breathing had sped up from his normal breathing patterns. She looked at his hand on the center console and put hers on top of his. She had been in love with John for about a year and a half already, but he had never seemed to notice. She knew that he didn't like her, as he had expressed his distaste for relationships in the past. Still, she held out hope that he would love her one day. To her surprise, she grabbed his hand and squeezed it, as if he were the one hurting right now. A blush crossed her face, and she felt a little bit of happiness in these moments of dread.
{Johns POV}
John pulled slowly out of the school parking lot, looking into traffic cautiously. He set his hand on the center console, surprised to feel the warmth of Gracie's hand when she grabbed it. His heart did that thing again.. so in response to that, he clasped his hand around hers, holding on tightly. He knew the pain she was going through right now, and he also knew he needed to do whatever he could to help her get through this hardship, little did he know what that would actually require of him. He kept his eyes on the road, and they drove in silence for a solid 20 minutes. About 10 minutes before they got to the hospital, Gracie spoke up from the silence.
"J-john.." She said, her voice still cracking from her silent sobs.
"What's up?" He responded with a shaky voice, glancing over at her quickly.
"I really appreciate you doing this for me... You're always here when I need you.." She said, her voice wavering as if it was on the verge of crying again.
"That's what I'm alive for, right? You're the only one who cares about me, so I have to protect you when I can." He chuckled, his hand shaking a bit as the words came out of his mouth.

Gracie was running through her small neighborhood, a scrape on her knee and a cut on her arm. She was running from the group of boys that she had been playing with for the past few weeks, but they had suddenly started being really mean to her today. One of them had pushed her onto the ground, causing her to scrape her knee. One of them grabbed her hair, picking her up and forcing her to stand up. She started to try and run, catching her arm on a tree and creating a big cut that had dripped blood onto the pavement since she started running. Suddenly, she ran into someone, a tall boy with jet black hair and deep blue eyes, they were almost like polar opposites to hers. He looked down at her, holding out his hand to to help her up.
"What are you running from?" He asked, looking behind her.
"T-they pushed me down, and I cut my arm, and I'm sorry!" She had started freaking out, her breathing becoming near the point of hypervenilation.
He helped her up onto her feet and pulled her towards a small grass incline next to them, telling her to sit down.
"Just sit here and try to calm down, don't worry, you're okay now" He said to her, smiling a bright wide smile.
She sat there, stunned at this complete strangers kindness. Her long blonde hair had leaves stuck in it, and her icy blue eyes were shining as if she were about to start crying. She had always been short, but he was taller then most boys she had seen, maybe even as tall as her older brother. He had a slender figure, he was cuter then most boys she had met, and she had already developed a small crush on him.
Suddenly, the boys from before turned the corner and came into view, running towards him. She started trying to tug at his shirt to make him move, to which he refused to do. Once the boys arrived there, he questioned them, his fists balled up so tight that they were visibly shaking.
"What did you do to this girl?" He questioned, already about to swing at them before they answered.
"Hmph, she just got what she deserved. She was annoying us." The biggest of the group responded.
Upon hearing this, he swung his fist, and after that it was just a flurry of punches that she kept her eyes closed throughout. When she opened them again, the boy had come put her hand on her shoulder and smiled at her.
"It's okay now, they're gone" He said
Sure enough, the bullies were gone, and all the boy had endured was a couple bruises. She smiled, hugging him, the leaves falling out of her hair. She broke off from the hug and looked at him.
"My names Gracie, lets be friends!" She exclaimed excitedly.
"Sure, I'm John" He responded, a wide grin across his face
{Present Day, Gracie's POV}
"This is just like that time you saved me from those bullies in fifth grade.." She looked at him, smiling
"I guess you're kind of right" He responded, a small grin spreading across his face as they pulled into the hospital, both of them unready to face the significant new waiting for them.

Authors Note : Thanks for reading this Chapter! I decided to incorporate the flashback in order to clarify the characters features, so hopefully that worked out the way I wanted it to! :)


{Gracie's POV}
Gracie looked over to John as he pulled into the hospital parking lot, her hand shaking in his from the anxiety that had set in upon arrival. She looked out the window, seeing the dozens of parked cars, knowing that each and every one of them could be losing someone dear to them right now, but she didn't care. It was selfish but she felt like her world was the only one that mattered right now. She grabbed her door handle after they had parked, opening the door as it started to drip down light blue rain drops, in a lightly clouded sky.
"I guess it really is a gloomy day.." John said from the other side of the car as he stepped outside, putting the hood on his black hoodie up.
Seeing this, Gracie did the same, the thought not even crossing her mind in the first place. She glanced one more time at him, and they started walking towards the entrance, drifting closer together as distance from the door decreased. The tension in the air was intense, neither one of them wanting to mention what would most likely be waiting for them, although they both expected the worst. Gracie moved closer to John, grabbing his hand and clutching it tightly as they walked through the door. They then walked to the emergency room check in desk, in which they asked for Gracie's mom.
{John's POV}
"We're here to see Hope Alexis?" John asked the reception lady, who had a tired expression on her face, as if she hadn't slept enough in the past week.
"She's in surgery right now, but a young man claiming to be her son is waiting outside the room, you can find it right over there." She said, pointing down a long hall to their right, littered with doors and elevators.
"Take a left up there and you should see him, the room number is 64." She said one last time, and with that John and Gracie started walking towards the room, Gracie's grip on John's hand tightening as they approached her brother, Mark.
Once turning the corner, they saw a sight that neither of them had seen since the passing of Gracie's father, a distressed Mark, sitting in a waiting room chair with his hands over his face, obviously tired of crying. Mark looked up as they get closer, coughing from lack of breath as he walked quickly over to Gracie, causing her to break away from John's hand and embrace her brother. After a long hug that seemed to last an eternity, Mark broke away and looked at John, holding out his hand and pulling him into a quick embrace.
"What are you doing here?" Mark asked after the quick hug, twiddling with his fingers as they stood in the middle of the hallway.
"I wasn't going to let Gracie drive her by herself, she's a wreck already, and you guys are like family to me anyway." John responded, putting his hand on Gracie's shoulder and guiding her over to the waiting chairs which Mark had occupied only a few minutes ago.
{Mark's POV}
Mark followed behind John and Gracie, walking back towards the chair he had just been sitting in. His black hair was stuck to his forehead from the sweat he had accumulated from the stress of today's events. Despite being Gracie's brother, he didn't share many of the same psychical features, except for a similar facial structure. Marks eyes were a hazel brown, like his moms but only a little bit lighter, and he had jet black hair similar to that of John's which he had inherited from his father.
He seated himself in the chair that sat up against the wall, he had always liked sitting in the corner of places, it made him feel more secluded from people, which he loved. Mark glanced over at his sister, who had taken the seat next to him, and then to John who had taken the seat right next to the door. From what he could tell, Gracie and John were holding hands. Mark knew that Gracie had loved John for a while now, but he hadn't ever seen John return similar feelings this way. He put his elbow on the arm of his chair, learning his head onto his hand.
Mark's morning had started like any other morning, he was the main income for the household since his dad passed away, and had taken the duty upon himself to supply his mom and sister with a good life. He had woken up first, going around the house trying to wake everyone up so that they could get ready for there days. He set out the pills that his mom had needed for the day, and hid the rest someplace only he and Gracie knew about, or so he thought.
He wished Gracie a good day as she went off to school, driving their moms old car, and he planted a kiss on his mothers head and started out of the house himself, driving his dads old truck to work. He treasured the truck as if it was his life because it was the only thing left that he had of his dads, the rest had been lost when his mom broke into a panic after his accident.
Mark was about half way to his job when he realized he had forgotten his wallet, and turned around to go back to the house. He opened the door to find pills scattered all over the kitchen floor. He had run over to the spot where the pills were hiding, finding the box unlocked and the key thrown across the counter top. Immediately, he had run to the bathroom and found his mom laying next to the toilet with a pale face, an empty bottle of pills next to her. He grabbed his phone and called the ambulance, texting Gracie afterwards whilst tears flooded from his eyes, overtaking his ability to speak.
Now, waiting in the hospital, he opened his eyes again and saw the door knob to the surgery door turn, a doctor emerging from the entrance, his mask removed.
"Are you the family members of Ms. Hope?" He asked, looking worriedly at them.
"Yes." Mark replied, practically jumping to his feet.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news for you..." The doctor replied, looking solemnly at Mark.


Authors Note : I'm not too sure about how the flash back to the morning turned out, but I figured I'd try and incorporate it into the story. Welcome Mark to the Group! :3


{Gracie's POV}
Gracie watched the doctor walk outside from the room, her heart lifting in hope, but then slowly falling as she saw the look in the doctors eyes. The doctor had a solemn expression on his face, looking at Mark with eyes of disappointment.
"What happened?!" Mark asked, his voice shaky but steadily getting louder.
"She's alive for now, but I'm afraid I don't know how long that will last.." The doctor replied, motioning them to follow him into the room.
Gracie and John stood up, following the doctor to her mothers bed, where she lay still, almost like a lifeless corpse. Gracie then saw something she had never seen before. Her mothers legs were covered in bruises and scars, Gracie recognized these as self harm scars, as she had seen the many scars on John's body a couple weeks ago. Seeing this finally made Gracie understand why her mom hadn't wanted to go the beach whenever her and Mark had asked her. The scars on her legs ran from her hips all the way to her knee, placed the same amount of distance away from each other. Her and Mark both knew that their mom had been depressed since the passing of their father, and they had tried to get her to go to therapy many times, which she had refused. Despite this, neither of them had known that it was this bad, and seeing this caused their hearts to sink lower than ever before.

{John's POV}
John clutched Gracie's hand as they walked into the room, preparing for what he thought would be the worst, but his expectations were overshadowed significantly. He stood next to Gracie, looking at Hopes legs in horror, he knew what those scars were from and upon seeing them he felt an odd feeling on his left wrist, on the back of his neck, and a few other places he had cut in his worst times. Those scars weren't anything he wished on his worst enemy, and to see someone he thought of as family laying on a hospital bed, her children now finding out about the one thing she had to keep to a secret, he felt a feeling a dread inside of him, for Hope, Mark, and Gracie alike.
John was well informed when it came to the event's of Gracie's dads passing. His name was Richard, but he had let John call him Rich. Rich had passed away a couple of years ago from lung cancer, leaving Mark as the main supporter for the household, and sending Hope and Gracie into a spiral of depression. Thankfully, John had been able to pull Gracie out of her head before it was too late, although he had to reveal the most hidden part of himself to do it. Hope however, no one was ever able to reach. Mark managed to get doctors to prescribe her pills for depression but all they did was increase her suicidal tendencies, so they had switched from pill to pill until finally this had happened. Hope had decided she had felt enough pain already, and she wanted to stop. She wanted to feel at peace again. Hope had wanted to go back to when she could watch her kids be kids with her husband, but she knew those dreams would never come true.
John, Mark, and Gracie stepped towards Hopes hospital bad, seeing her life monitor at a slow rate, but she was still breathing. The doctor came over and stood next to them , holding a clipboard that he had retrieved from a nearby desk in his hand.
"We were able to get the pills out of her system before she had a chance to digest them, but we regretfully inform you that her brain is in the last stages of cancer." The doctor said, reaching across John and Gracie to hand Mark the clipboard.
"W-what do you mean? She has cancer?" Gracie asked, her voice cracking as her tears started to flow again, she tightened her grip on Johns hand, he could practically hear Gracie's heart drop, thumping at a quickened pace as she gripped his hand tighter.
"Yes.. today may be her last day, so I'll leave you to say you're good byes.. I'm very sorry.." The doctor put his hands together like he was praying, and looked at them with eyes John could tell understood pain. This doctor had probably done this many times, but John knew it couldn't get any easier with time, telling a family that they had just lost one of the most important people in their lives.
{Gracie's POV}
Gracie wanted dearly to blame the doctor for everything, but knew that was unreasonable. She approached her moms sick bed, kneeling next to it, gently caressing her hair like a little girl playing with a doll. She let go of Johns hand, placing both her hands on either side of her moms face, which felt cooler than usual. Gracie should've known to take her mom to the hospital when she had gotten more sick than usual. This was all her fault. She should've taken her to the hospital sooner, maybe then this wouldn't have happened. She started crying, the tears pouring down onto the sheet of the bed.
Mark knelt down next to her, putting his hands over hers, trying his best to hold back his tears. Mark didn't want to seem weak in this situation, he had to act strong for his sister. He had to endure whatever pain he could, he had to do this for Gracie, and for his dad, which he knew was looking down onto him from wherever he was now.

{John's POV}
John looked away from the other two, walking over to the corner of the room, not wanting to disturb them in their time of mourning. He wanted to cry for them, for the loss of their mom, but he wasn't able to cry anymore. It felt like his body had run out of tears, which made the people around him think he was heartless. It hurt him, not being able to cry at a time like this, when his heart ached this badly, seeing Gracie in pain like this. John stood in the corner, and watched in horror as the line on the heart monitor started to gain larger gaps, until finally the line remained flat...


Gracie was 9, and it was the summer between 5th and 6th grade. Her and John had just met a little while ago and they were already best friends, both of Gracie's parents adored John and Johns brother adored Gracie. Johns parents had died while he was a kid, so he was left in the care of his older brother, Alex. Alex had only been 20 at the time so he didn't exactly know how to handle a child, but Alex still looked after him while he was growing up.
Gracie still had a crush on John from the day they had first met, but of course hadn't told him yet. John suspected nothing of this, still the protective, innocent kid she had met that day. John loved Gracie like she was his sister, and they protected each other whenever they needed to, but although John acted tough, Gracie knew that wasn't the true him.
One night while Gracie was staying with John over night, she had fallen asleep first and woke up to the sound of John crying. They were muffled sobs, but Gracie could still hear them, as he lie on the floor next to his bed, clutching his pillow. She guessed he didn't know he had woke her, because he kept crying into his pillow. After about 10 minutes, the sobs faded, and she assumed he had fallen back to sleep.
The next morning Gracie spoke nothing of this, and John pretended like it had never happened. He didn't even show any signs that he was sad, he was still his cheery self, as per usual. Gracie and John then proceeded to play outside after breakfast, one of the things that they often did together. Mark didn't join them often, but when he did he usually teased Gracie. They were looked after by Gracie's dad, Richard. He had a scruffy beard and his hair was slightly grey, but he still wore a smile on his face every day, like he was the luckiest man in the world.
This was the best period of time in Gracie's life... before she started having problems with boys, and before her father had passed away, and when she had met her best friend, John.





John lived a happy life for the first 6 years, he had been happier than any other kid in his class thus far throughout school, and it showed in his actions. His parents taught him to be protective of his friends and the people he loved. He was kind to everyone he met, until they proved that they didn't deserve his kindness (Imagine losing someones kindness in 1st grade because you're a meanie head). His life all went downhill after he turned 7. His parents both died in a car crash on the way back from buying his 7th birthday cake, a drunk driver had hit and killed them. This had caused both him and his older brother a large amount of mental damage, and left him scared of his birthday for the rest of his life.
He and his brother Alex lived a mostly happy life. Alex made enough money to provide for the both of them, and they lived comfortably throughout the years. Despite this, John's life didn't seem to get better until he met Gracie. Gracie made him feel like someone besides his brother was there for him. When him and Gracie had gone into middle school, John hit an all time low in his life, he had lost all his friends except for her because of a rumor that was spread about him. It was at this time, in 7th - 8th grade where he started trying to cut himself. He'd started doing it at the end of 7th grade and only stopped because it upset Gracie, and he hated seeing her upset. It was only in 10th grade when he had completely stopped, with his life being significantly improved by the freedom he had gained from turning 16. Everything was going okay, until that one fated day where Gracie received the worst new of high school.


{Gracie's POV}
Gracie looked up to the hear monitor, hearing a familiar sound that brought back memories of pain, of her father laying lifeless on the hospital bed, leaving her and her family with nothing to do except mourn for the loss of their loved one. Upon looking up she found that this was one again the case. The line on the heart rate monitor had completely evened out, leaving a long "beeeep" sound lingering throughout the air, resulting in all 3 of them, Gracie, Mark, and John, speechless and unable to believe what had just happened. Although the doctor had warned them that this might be the last day they would see their mother, both Gracie and Mark still had hope that she would wake up. For this hope to be suddenly eclipsed in a shroud of despair, had hurt both of them deeply. Gracie could practically hear both Mark, and her own heart break.
"MOM! Wake up! Please!" Mark cried, holding his mothers cold hand against his sweating forehead.
"I need you.. we need you" He pleaded, tears streaming down his face as he prayed, hoping for the god he wasn't sure he believed in to help him
{Marks POV}
What had he done to deserve this? He thought he done everything right.. He thought he did everything he could for the people around him... So why now? Why did the universe decide to do this to him? Had he not suffered enough already? Mark cried as hard as he could, his tears flowing into the palm of the cold hand he was holding. His mothers skin had gone pale over the years, stress Mark had thought. Maybe it had been cancer all this time?
Mark dropped his mothers hand, his throat burning from all the crying he had done today, and looked at the clipboard the doctor had given him. Just stupid paperwork.. was this the same thing that his Mom had to fill out a couple years earlier? While her heart was snapped in two and her will to live practically gone? Was it all just a cruel joke to the mourning family members of dead patients? He tried to stop himself from blaming the doctor and the hospital, but thoughts of hate began to run freely through his brain, clouding his judgement and blocking his logic.
Suddenly, a doctor walked into the room hurriedly, and looked at the monitor. His face turned to sadness, looking at the two grieving visitors, and glazing at the man in the corner, watching them with eyes full of pain. He walked up to the two visitors.
"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you all to leave the room while we move her.. please fill out that paper when you can, no need to rush, we understand why it might take a while."
Upon hearing this, Gracie was ready to yell at the man, but Josh came and hugged her from behind, wrapping his arms around her shoulder and pulling her close.
"There's nothing he can do.. that's just how these things work.. I'm sorry Grace, I really am. But you have to try and calm down, at least for now."
"I-i know" Gracie responded, tears falling from her eyes once again, and her voice cracking even more than it had before.
{John's POV}
"I have things to take care of... meet me at our house please.. and take care of Gracie for me, make sure she gets home safe.." Mark said, whispering into Johns ear after he came up behind Gracie.
John looked at Mark, nodding in agreement, and with that Mark left the room, followed shortly after John and Gracie. John took Gracie out to her car, knowing that the hospital had to move her mothers body to some place else.. usually they might do it different but there had been a lot of deaths recently, and the hospital needed as many rooms as it could spare.
Upon arriving at Gracie's car, John sat Gracie down in the back seat, her having almost fallen asleep from the amount she had cried today, it had worn her out a lot. She lie down in the backseat, drifting to sleep as John pulled out of the hospital parking lot and began driving to his house.
During the drive to his house, John contacted the school. School had long released, as it had been about 4 or 5 hours since they had left unannounced. The school listened to him with a sense of understanding, completely supporting the decision he had made. The school excused both of them, wishing him a good week, as he had mentioned that they might not be able to attend for the rest of the week.
John pulled into his drive way, looking back at Gracie, his long time best friend. He had never realized her true beauty until now. She slept in the back seat like she was an angel sleeping peacefully on a cloud. She had never actually had a boyfriend before, which was surprising to him. She may not have looked perfect, but she was still beautiful in his eyes. Her long hair fell over the over sized hoodie that she often wore, her face stained from the tears she had cried throughout today. He often heard the other guys tease her about being a little chubby, which had always annoyed him, because most of those people had always pissed him off in the first place. He turned the car off, giving one last glance at Gracie sleeping in the backseat, and drifted of to sleep himself, wishing that all of today's events could just turn out to be a dream.

Authors Note: I'm sorry for the terrible chapter this time around, I don't really know how hospital operates, so I just winged it. Just pretend that it's in an alt universe or something, that might be easier to understand XD. Again, trash chapter, but thanks for reading :3
{Gracie's POV}
Gracie woke up the next morning, feeling Johns arms around her and feeling a bit sick to her stomach. She didn't know what she had been doing, she had spilled her feelings because she felt so distraught at the loss of her mother. She unwrapped Johns arms from around her, careful to not wake him up. Her stomach growled at her, as she hadn't eaten almost anything yesterday. She walked slowly towards the kitchen, taking slow, small steps, careful not to startle John awake. She looked through Johns fridge, searching for the milk, as she had seen some cereal on the counter last night as they came into the house. She made her cereal, a bowl of Mini Wheats, and sat at Johns dining table. She went to take a bite of her food and remembered the previous morning. Despite her better wishes, she ate the bite she had planned for herself and immediately gagged. They had a sour taste, almost like she was eating her mothers memory. She put her spoon in her bowl, laying her head down on the table, tears beginning to stream down her face. It hadn't fully occurred to her that she wouldn't be able to see her mother again. Her mom was gone, forever, and there was nothing she could do about it.
She lay her head there, memories of the cuts on her moms leg flashing through her mind. It was almost like there had been a pattern to them, maybe her moms OCD bothered her even when she was cutting. How had neither her or Mark notice the cuts on her legs? She should've been able to see that something was wrong when all she wore had been pants. It was the same way with John. Despite him wearing a hoodie everyday, keeping his arms covered, even during summer, she never acknowledged the fact that he might have been going through something horrible. For this, she blamed herself. Maybe it was her fault that her mother had died? What if she had noticed this and questioned her about it? Would the outcome have changed? Despite her silent sobbing, she still felt tired from the night before. She closed her eyes, and cried herself to sleep at her loves table, hoping that this all really was just a bad dream.
{Marks POV}
Mark woke up the next morning, having filled out the hospital paperwork for his mother. He made it his duty to go into her room and go through her things. He had called in a family emergency at work, so he had about 3 days to mourn before it was back to his everyday work routine. Mark went into Hopes room, beginning to look through her things. He began going through her drawers, unsure of what he was looking for but looking nonetheless. He came across a bag of blades, all bloodied and rusted. There was about 5 or 6 of them hidden under her socks, buried under a couple layers of new socks so that no one would immediately notice. He grabbed the bag, using it as the beginning of a pile on the dresser top. A bag of razors, bloodied tissues, wipes, bandages. The items kept piling up, each new addition hurting Mark on a deeper level. This was all in front of his face the entire time. He had been in here countless times while he was waking her up for breakfast.. If only he had decided to question her about her depression. It was definitely his fault, he had thought. He just brushed her problems to the side because he was too busy with work. He sat on the edge of his mothers bed and put his head in his hands, the lake of tears in his eyes bubbling over once again.
{Johns POV}
John woke up to a slight sobbing outside his room, and he noticed Gracie was no where to be found in his room. He knew it wasn't his brother, as he had made plans to stay with his friends in Missouri for a week or two. He went to crawl out of bed, but decided against it. Maybe she needed to be alone for a little bit, he thought to himself. Had last night been a mistake? Maybe he had upset her when he confessed to her.
"I'm such an idiot" John mumbled under his breath, shoving his face into his pillow.
"I should have waited.. now wasn't even the right time! I can't believe I probably just ruined her life even more. No one should have to deal with two different stresses at the same time."
John became increasingly angry, frustrated with himself for being the potential reason Gracie was so upset. Her mom had just died and here he was being selfish and admitting his so called "love" for her. He didn't even know if that's what it was. What if he had just screwed her entire life up because he didn't know how to control his own emotions? He looked around for his knife, he wanted nothing more then to cut right now, but then he remembered. He stopped cutting for Gracie, cutting because of her would just be a shattered promise. He lied back down, resting his head on his pillow, letting his selfish thoughts roam his mind, while the sobbing in the background faded, and his world turned to black.



Authors note: Everybody is sad right now. Gracie and Mark are both blaming themselves for their mothers death, and I don't really know how this chapter went. Maybe I should plan the next chapter out, this and the past ones seem pretty trash. Hopefully my next story is better though.



{Johns POV}
John woke up earlier than he had expected, hearing the faint snoring of Gracie in the living room. He really did love her.. but why did his feelings only decide to show now? If he had known sooner he might've been able to help her better. Was he really helping her enough? John never believed he could help anyone, he had never done anything significant enough. Despite this, Gracie always tried to re assure him, she said he had helped her a lot through all the issues she had. John had never made an impact like she had though, he never felt for one second that he could be the only reason she was alive. Gracie had helped him through so much more than he could ever help her though, and he didn't know how he could re-pay her. He rubbed his hand over the scars on his wrist, the memories of his blade coming to his mind, they calmed him, but he still forced the thoughts away. He stopped for Gracie, and he wouldn't hurt her like that again.
John got out of bed, walking into the living room to find Gracie asleep in front of an almost full bowl of cereal. He took the bowl off the table, dumped it out and began to wash it. What a shame that the food went to waste, but there wasn't much he could do about it, forcing himself to eat would be just as bad as not eating. John went into his room again, grabbing one of his light blankets, and wrapping it around Gracie who still sat at the table. She looked so peaceful while she slept, almost like an angel. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, scribbling a note about where he had gone, and set it on the table in front of her. John slipped his shoes on, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, and made his way out the door. He walked to his car, taking his phone out and texting Mark, who was on his last day off, if he could talk for a little bit. Mark responded with a yes, but John still felt guilty asking him for something so selfish after what he had been through. John climbed into his car, pulling out and heading towards Marks house, where he planned to ask him about how Gracie really felt.
John pulled in to Marks drive way, walking up to the door and knocking, as he didn't want to let himself in at a time like this. Mark answered the door, smiling despite everything he had been through. John walked in, looking around at the place he found so familiar.
"Hey Mark, how ya feelin?" John questioned, sitting down at the kitchen table.
"It's tough, but I'll live, just like I did with my dad..." Mark replied, sitting across the table from John.
"So what was it you wanted to talk about it?" Mark questioned, changing the subject as quickly as it could.
"It's about Gracie.. I told her I loved her.. but I feel selfish because of what you guys are going through right now." John responded, looking down at the table, tightly interlocking his fingers.
Marks face flashed with surprise, a small grin peaking through afterwards. Mark seemed pretty excited about this, but John was clueless as to why.
"It's okay, you're not being selfish.. not to her anyway. She's been in love with you for a while now, if anything it probably made her feel better about what happened with out mom." Mark said, letting out a small chuckle at Johns fears.
"She needs you right now, so I want you to take care of her. She would already die for you, but I'm sure that after recent events she would die for a lot less. Keep her close, make sure she knows you're there. You're the one she wants to be with 24 / 7, the one she wants to talk to all the time. So promise me you'll be there when she needs you."
Mark said this with a sense of authority he hadn't used around many others except for Gracie, he projected himself in an almost father - like manner.
"I promise.. I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself if I let something happen to her." John said, a bit shaken by Marks previous tone.
"Good, then please take care of my little sister." Mark responded, getting up and pulling John into a slight hug, almost like a way of approval.
"I will, thank you. I should probably be leaving now, If I get there before Grace wakes up I wont have to explain anything." And with that, John took his leave, wishing Mark a good day before exiting the door, and climbed into his car, making his way back to the place he had come from, and where the love of his life awaited him.

Authors Note: I know, pretty trash, but I've had a bit of a hard time coming up with material, so go easy on me ><

Really sorry for the horrible formatting, I copy and pasted right from Wattpad.