That Can Never Be!

"Where is it? Damn it, I need it! I have to find it, but later, right now I need the other! He'll be here in an hour, Damn . . . I need that memory spell! It seems like I need it more and more as the years pass. Surly I didn't just stick it in my pocket again—! Damn it, I did. That very same thing last time too. I've got to find that memory spell but first this to start the change."

"Forty-five minutes now so where's Frewin? Where are you my love? Oh, there you are my lovely wand. Now a little of this and some of those, fold them in gently then stir slowly until it bubbles. Let it cool for a few minutes now and it'll work better, it's fresh. He'll never know what hit him. he’ll never know he was hit. He’ll be here soon, he’s very anxious and tries to be early, but the gate will not open until the allotted time."

"There he is. He is beautiful. My lover.” Some times I wish I didn’t have the need, but the for the 4 days 3 times a year it comes on me I revel in it. I can feel the changes, my body reshaping, my skin tightening, becoming soft and supple and the longing building as it happens. Finding that book with the spell written in the Stark Tongue, the old witches language, was a bit of a miracle. We members of the darker side have miracles too.

Few remember how to read Stark, but I have been here for a long time. For four days three times a year I can be the stunning beauty I was 8 hundred years ago and enjoy the flesh with Stephan. In 6 months I'll arrange for a wife and happiness for him like I have for every other love I’ve had.

The maid, Gwenth, is ready, I’ll introduce them next week with a little of the Amor potion spread around, in 6 months he’ll tell me he has to move on if I’ll never marry him. I’ll of course act adequately crushed and wish him well.

Each stays ten years.

"Hello, Stephan, my love. I'm so glad you're here. I’ve missed you."

"I would as soon lose my life as miss a single second of our 4 meetings each year, 4 days of bliss then 3 months apart. Come, marry me and live with me. I’m a wealthy man and will keep you as I would a queen."

"Thank you, Stephan, but I've told you, it can never be. These four days every 3 months I can give you, my love, nothing more."

"I don't see how you can be even more beautiful each time I visit. How do you do it out here in the middle of nowhere. God, Lila ..."

"SSHHH! There'll be no mention of him in my house. I'll explain another time. For now, take my hand, Stephan, come with me. We have four days, let us not waste any of that so short a time on discussing can never be's"

“Yes my love.”

“Now . . . here . . . and here and—.”

“Oh, my god, how—.”

“Shhhh. Just feel, this and—.”
*****

“Lila? Where are you, my love?”

“Here, Stephan, just here. Come, lie against me, your head on my breast. I’ll rub all your worries away, love. There, Yes, sleep love, rest and regain the strength I’ll want later.” Where did I put that rejuvenation spell? We are going to need it. Someplace I wouldn’t forget . . . That I’ve forgotten. I’ve got to find that memory spell.

Where could I have put it? I’ve gone through 3 shelves of books already, there are only 11 more. Where did I put that damn thing? Poor Stephan, I’ll miss him as I have and do everyone. I remember each and cherish the times we had. From the lowest pauper, Otto, from Rothenburg ob der Tauber, Germany. What a beautiful old city, I remember it being built.

Otto was the poorest of the poor, I supported him and he was worth it. I was 30 and he was 19. Just gaining my full power and the body I could reclaim 4 days at a time some 745 years later. I married him to the daughter of a landed father. After 32 years he was the principle owner of the family lands. For 10 years I was with a prince that later became a king in England.

There’s the rejuvenation spell. Good, I’ll Perform it now. I feel it coming again. Say these words and move this way and say the name 3 times . . . Now back to . . . “Stephan? Stephan? Stephan? There you are my love.”

“Lila, I guess I fell asleep, I’m sorry my love.”

“It is not a problem. You must have needed the rest. How do you feel now?”

“Like I want to skip dinner just to be with you. Could you love? I just have this incredible urge to do this.”

“Oh, yes, my love—.”
*****

“You must go Stephan. You can not stay. I’ll see you in 3 short months, my love.”

“There must be something I could say or do or something to convince you to marry me. Just ask. I beg you.”

“I love you Stephan, just 3 short months. Goodbye my love.”

“Goodbye love. I’ll miss you. I love you.”

When the gates close I think 2 more times, but the last will be when he tells me he has to move on. I’ll miss him, but Anderson will be ready. He’ll do quite well for the next 10 years.

“Where is that damned memory spell! When I find it I’ll perform it each morning. I hate forgetting things. Where’s that damned spell?”