Countess Bathory v. Former Employees

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I stand before you with one simple task in mind. I am not here to make assumptions, nor will I call upon your emotions in order to make my point clear. All I intend to do is to present the facts of this case.

My opponent would rather assassinate my client’s character than convince you of her wrong-doing. I have a more concise argument in mind. Do you truly believe that petite widow is capable of cold-blooded murder? Let’s summarize the case so far.

Mrs. Elizabeth Bathory has been accused of murdering young girls and bathing in their bodily fluids. This claim has been supported by the testimony of an eyewitness and several other sources too reluctant to come forward. Screams and cries echo through the mansion late at night. The countess never appears to age despite her husband growing frailer by the day. When Mr. Bathory passed away, the staff all whispered that Elizabeth’s appetite got the best of her. I could continue detailing the fantastic and whimsical stories, but I have little patience for fairy tales spouted by underpaid workers with over-active imaginations.

There is no proof of Elizabeth Bathory’s supposed habit of ‘bathing in virgin blood’, a nasty rumor started by a disgruntled maid. The aforementioned ‘star witness’ delivered unreliable testimony during the trail and failed to provide anything concrete to back up these claims.

Forensics found no trace of human DNA in the bathtub, nor were there any women chained up in the basement ‘dungeon’. I don’t want to even entertain the supposition of my client drinking the bath water after soaking in it. Nobody could stomach the contents of a fifty gallon tub in a single night.

Regarding the disappearances, police looked into the records provided by the Bathory estate and found nothing suspicious in regards to the staff employed. Several butlers and housekeepers parted ways due to personal disagreements, each of them alive and well. In fact, they seemed to have great difficulty remembering much of their time there. They did agree that the job was a poor one with meager wages.

Perhaps this is why these rumors started?

Let’s examine the circumstances surrounding her husband’s passing. A court-ordered autopsy revealed there was nothing out of the ordinary. What the late Mr. Bathory suffered from was a persistent case of acute anemia, a common ailment shared by millions world-wide. The last time I checked, iron deficiency was not a solid case for foul play.

Should we also waste time discussing the outlandish claims that Mrs. Bathory is an ‘ageless creature’? I would appeal to your rationality and simply make a case for excellent genetics and a history of family resemblance. Nothing more needs to be said about this nonsense.

I urge you, members of the jury, to consider the facts of this case. Don’t fall for the folk stories and pseudo-science that the prosecutor is bandying about. To me, it sounds like the words of a desperate man trying to get a conviction on his record. My client is not guilty, and I stand firmly by her.

Your Honor… ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case!