Nirriot, Called The Dark One

“What? You want me to do what?”

“I would like you to come with me. I have to defeat the dragon, Nirriot, called The Dark One by farmers and your help would be most appreciated.”

“But . . . I’m just a Hobbit. I don’t have any fighting skills. I’m good at eating and drinking. Which reminds me it’s time for . . . is it 3rd breakfast or 1st lunch? No matter, would you join me?”

“No. And neither will you. Come, we must leave now if we’re to get the task done.”

“But, Gandalf . . . wait . . . I have to eat!”

“You’re a bit on the plump side now, Eeasom, you could stand to miss a couple meals. Come, we must away!“

“How long will we be gone?”

“Depends on the dragon, 2 or 3 days to several weeks.”

“I’ll need clothes, and leggings . . . and food . . . And, what else?”

“Nothing! Hurry we must leave within the hour.”

“Why the rush?”

“I hope to catch her as she leaves her lair. That’s the safest time to attack. Now, come!”
*****

“I’ve never seen a dragons lair before. Is it always a burned trash heap?”

“They’re not the tidiest of creatures.”

“Doesn’t it attract pests? Rats?”

“Of course, but they soon learn who’s trash it is and stay away. Now come, we must prepare. I want you to stand with this staff just to the side of that rock. When she emerges throw the staff like a spear and jump behind the rock.”

“But, she’ll cook me! I’m not sure I want to do this.”

“We have to now, we’ve left our scent and she’ll hunt us down and we won’t like that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before? I might—.”

“Exactly! You might have not come. I needed you. Now go stand there . . . Left a bit . . . good, right there.”

“Gandalf?”

“Shhh, I’ll call her now.” The fist size rock he threw into the cave seemed to rattle down the tunnel for minutes until we heard, “WHOOOMMPHH,” and smoke flowed out over the lip of the cave like an upside down waterfall.

“Call her? That just made her angry. I don’t think it’s a good idea to make dragons angry.”

“It is though, she’ll be too angry to think and I’ll have her. Another miniature for my collection and some farmers will benefit.”

“The smokes thicker.”

“She’s cautious, crawling up from her lair. Be ready for a fast exit.”

“Okay, But - GAAHHHHH - oh my god - Gandalf, do something!”

“Throw the staff now!”

“Umpff! Now the rock and—.”

“ROOOAARRRR!”

“Nirriot — Nirriot — Nirriot — Begone ye! Shrink and fade until you’ve made a treasure for me.”

“You can come out now.”

“My throat is raw and my clothes are burned.”

“You’re alive, the dragon is gone and I have this beautiful mini.”

“How many have you killed?”

“None, they’re alive, just frozen and small, to fit on a shelf.”

“Do you take their gold?”

“What would a dragon do with gold? Let’s go home.”

“Okay. You owe me a new outfit.”