Jealous or Inspired

Jealous or Inspired?
I have been surrounded by friends, possessing diverse characters, personalities, and abilities. This has been both encouraging and discouraging to me in significant magnitudes.
There are those who saw the ability and potential in me, and did not hesitate to point it out. They encouraged me to pursue my dreams and assured me of a bright future with their words of encouragement.
Some made it way early and a lot of things around them seemed to work perfectly well. Having an active social life, being financially able and stable, being in a perfect, or almost perfect relationship, and last but not least, possessing a strong personality that almost everyone admires. These are the pillars that surround them, making me (and others like me,) feel like the world is not our home.
I have pushed hard, but it has never looked like at any point in life, I would grow to match their significance. I have felt discouraged looking at their ideas work successfully. I have seen them turn their abilities to money, and use their positions to be of influence. But for me? What is in store for me? I have failed at everything I have tried. The ideas I have sound brilliant, but only to me; at least according to the results after implementation.
I have given up, again and again. I have thought that maybe failure is just in my DNA. I have researched my family history, and unfortunately, it seems nobody has really made it big. This has come like a confirmation, that however much I try, my genealogy is just not meant for success. It has made me think of things like; 'some people are just lucky,' 'fate is unfair,' 'I am not good enough,' 'maybe I was cursed,' 'there are witches working hard so that I do not make it,' 'maybe I am not humble enough, so God wouldn't trust me with success,' and many more.
But looking closely, I realized that I related my success to others' so much, that I wouldn't recognize my own, even if it came my way tomorrow morning. It is like bike racing, everyone has his own path, but instead of looking at where I am going to, I am looking at my opponents' wheels. I have been unable to notice and make corrections to my path, simply because I do not concentrate on it. So, it has been jealousy all this while. I have been blind to my own path, yet fully glaring at other peoples' tracks. I have waited to point out mistakes in their ways, so that fate would judge them for me, but it has never happened.
I am quitting envy; I am picking on inspiration. I will look for my friends who have gone ahead of me in the life aspects aforementioned for guidance when necessary. I am letting go of all the imaginations and ideas I have had of things that might be hindering my success and taking the whole blame. It is me, and so has it been all this while. I have not plowed my farm, yet I expected results. I am looking ahead of me now, and focusing on my own path. Whatever it is that I can do best, that is what I will pursue.
I am going to note down all my talents, gifts, and abilities and I will do my best to polish them. I will learn from those who'll be willing to coach and help me grow. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me. I am able to achieve as much as others. I am a warrior and a winner