Love of My Life

(Jumps up nervously) “Holy shit I’m really about to meet this girl for the first time” Jaalib says to Bugz. Bugz says, “you good bro don’t worry about it! You got the whole upstairs to yourself, she’s going thru something and came straight to YOU that right there shows a lot!”. As the day goes on, I finally get the “I’m close text”. Holy shit! My heart is beating fast! What if I have a heart attack and she witnesses my dead body! Get it together Jaalib you’re better than that. As the thoughts race thru my mind I get a clear view of this beautiful girl walking my way..... ITS HER. We meet and proceed to go upstairs to the apartment & I got her her favorite... CHOCOLATE. We chilled and vibes out and watched movies all night long.
The first night goes by and I feel guilt I feel betrayal and just plain messed up! WE HAD SEX! The first night seeing each other and spending the night with each other, we had SEX! That wasn’t the plan!!!! I messed up. I should’ve been here for her mentally and talked to her and got to know her better & that’s where things went wrong..........
As time goes by we start to drift off and then come back drift off and then come back until one time where I decided I wanted to stay..... She invites me over to her house for the first time. More thoughts are racing thru my head “tell this girl how you truly feel tell her you don’t care about anyone else and she’s the one you wanna be with”. She opens the door..... my mind? ERASED. For some odd reason I lose my words with her and I get nervous but idk why it’s like she’s who I want so why are you nervous you’re not like this with anyone else. “GET IT TOGETHER!” I quietly shout. What you say?” says Taynisha. “Nothing” I replied.
As the days continue to go by I come across a personal situation which required me to move to a different state. FUCK! How am I gonna tell this girl this? I know she’s tired of me of leaving and coming back but this is more serious this time. I have no choice but to leave. I finally break the news to her.. she seems sad... she is sad. Wow. I screwed up. Badly


Chapter 2

2 years later

2 years went by and a lot has happened. I moved on to a new girl, we attempted to have our first child but god had other plans for our son.... As we’re cruising down the highway we take our exit and pull up to a red light. We continue to have a conversation then out of nowhere, BOOM! A car came full speed and slammed into the back of our car. She bangs her head on the dashboard... cops and ambulance gets called... we go to the hospital. Doctors are telling us “everything is fine, the both of them will be okay”. Thoughts racing thru my head again.... “she’s pregnant with our first child... she’s only 5 months I pray they’re really okay”. Days go by and she starts bleeding a lot, I’m working a long shift with my bestfriend on a field next thing I see is him running to me. “Yo Jaa, we gotta go man. Destiny is in the hospital it’s not looking too good” Maalik says. “What happened what happened?” I start to freak out! We tell our supervisor, we rush to the caddy to get brought to our car as we’re on the way our supervisor calls his mother and she says a prayer for us that touched so deep inside. We rush back to town and get to the hospital, whole family is there, doctors come up to us and says “We have to get her down to Yale in New Haven it’s more serious than we thought”. Days go by and we’re in the hospital room then all of a sudden, ITS TIME! We get rushed to the delivery room I’m legit SHAKING AND SHAKING AND SHAKING. I blacked out. Next thing I see, a little human. Wow my SON. My FIRST SON.... Then my thoughts get ruined by a dark cloud and I start to think “why isn’t he crying? What’s going on?” They rush him to the NICU.........
Days go by and we spent every single day with our son in the NICU while he was tied up to tubes. The night goes by and I have a wonderful dream about my son meeting my entire family..... Then suddenly, I’m awakened. “We have to go to the hospital somethings wrong with our son” Destiny screams. We rush over and we get the worse news ever.... we have to let him go..... it was the hardest decision in our lives.... time goes by and we let him pass away in our arms... Rest In Peace Makiyn Josiah Johnson.
Months and months go by and things doesn’t get easier for me and Destiny. Fights arguments breakups etc etc etc.... day comes where we finally call it QUITS & we move on.....


Chapter 3

As time goes by I come across someone who I thought I would never see or hear from again... Taynisha..... while I was in prov for 2 yrs and moved on she did as well. She’s was single again. I hit her up... consistently.... she liked it she enjoyed it. Then finally, we met up and chilled, we clicked instantly. As the days go by we’re getting closer and closer, we’re showing each other off, we’re making sure everything’s about us. Sighs, everything was amazing. At the end of the year she decided to take out a loan to get an apartment with me. Things are going good in our apartment then for some reason that I can’t explain, we start falling off. I start to get distant and treat her like shit. But why when she’s allll I ever wanted!!!!! Things get worse and worse and other people l start to come in the picture & we fall out for awhile.... finally, we tried again, things are cordial we argue here and there but we’re not up and leaving we’re staying by each other’s side. As the months go by I realize what wasn’t right and it was me. I didn’t do what I was suppose to do to really keep her and keep her happy then it happens.... she finds someone new but she still wants to fix us.... wow she can really just say FUCK IT and leave me alone and worry about him only but she’s still here she tells me one night “this is your last fucking chance. You have one month to get your shit together with me. Get to know me more be my best friend like I’ve always wanted!!!” I came to a realization that she is right..... she can just say fuck it and leave me alone for good and move on to him. He’s doing everything that i was suppose to do!!!!! I’m slipping I’m losing my touch I’m losing my woman I’m losing the love of my life... but she tells me I have another chance to get it right..... but does she really mean it?........ is this really my last and final shot? Will she really let me make this right?????........... or is it too late?.......



To be continued....