A beginning

         The day was here. Was I ready? I sure hope so, but who knows? For sure not I, but what even is it. I couldn't hope for anything more then what I was getting.
         This was the day that my whole life was leading up to. What had been shouted into my ears for endless hours. Sometimes I took it earnestly; sometimes I just wanted to block it out. My future was sometimes daunting, but sometimes I held it with curiosity. I wanted desperately to know how it ended, rushing forward brazenly. The matters of now didn't matter, but yet they did in order to achieve the greatest tomorrow. But other times I wanted to shut myself away, avoiding the future of responsibility and pressure. It towered over me, pressing me down evermore and my dreams of success, of yearning success, too much for the ye old soul I was. I didn't deserve anything like what I wanted. Not strong enough, not loud enough, not confident enough. The world was not my platter, and I needed to work for the dreams. I knew I was not capable, but yet I yearned and dreamt, always wanting, only sometimes listening to reality.
         So I stood there, facing the threshold into reality. The world was quiet, as if I was trapped in a moment. My thoughts pounded on, encapsulating me in its hold. I wanted to push off reality for just forevermore. Reality was not as good as my fanciful imagination. But if I just stayed here for a few moments more, I could believe that it was so.
         It turned to a moment in which I knew I had to go. Reality couldn't wait any longer. It would be better if I just go now. The time had come. But, my thoughts began to sprint, pushing against my mind. They swam recklessly, banging against the surfaces, ever pounding. The rocks of the bank eroded, drifting down, covering the ground in immoral dust. This angered the swell, the water rising and tumbling the currents flooded. The thoughts, in peril, screamed bloody murder, in endless horror. They drowned in utter innocence, struggling to the last breath.
         Disassociated, my body began to move, reaching out for the doorknob. It turned, and I was flooded with light.
         The lovely lantern that graced the outside of my door immediately flickered off, but I was already broken. I stepped out into the world. I paused before closing my door, checking for all the necessities. Anything I could control, I would make sure it was perfect.
         So, after making sure I had everything for the umpteenth time, I locked my door and set forth.
         The hallway was long and dwindling, but it was an everyday route, known and familiar. I finally made it outside, and the day was still dawning. The fresh chill of early morning was still set, and the little fingers of dawn were barely visible, but contrasted supremely with the royal navy of the sparkling sky. The day was still idyllic and fine and I didn't see a soul. I had a few minutes more, I supposed, and the nervousness sank down, covered in a thick fuzzy blanket.
         I followed the cobbled brick road hedged by the darkened shops and stores towards the illuminated stark building at the end of the row. A single glare of the luminescing dawn enveloped my destination in its grasp, holding it as its perfection as a city on the hill. It reigned in the morning glory in all of its might.
         When I finally reached the steps, those steps that were just a little too tall individually to make it uncomfortable, I paused. But, only for a second. Just a single little moment, nothing major. That was all.
         There was no door, the opening just an arch that anyone theoretically could pass. A place with no door and yet forbidden to those not deemed permission as to enter.