WRONG PLACE WRONG BAR

                             
3
         
WRONG PLACE WRONG BAR


He only went inside for a beer as it was a hot and windy day, and he was thirsty. That was the only reason. As soon as he did, he knew what sort of a place he was in. It didn't deter him though, and he certainly didn't feel threatened. He was from another state. Had driven all the way to San Francisco for his daughter's wedding, and now that the wedding reception was over, and the newly weds had flown to Hawaii for their honeymoon, he decided to check out downtown Frisco before his long journey home. He hadn't been to the bay city in over thirty years or more. It was a head-turner to see how much it had changed.
He walked up to the bar. The place was quiet, but even so he felt every head turned, every eye on him. The barman greeted him with a wiry smile. "New, I see."
"Yeah. I'm just passing through."
"Hmm, we get the odd blow in every now and then. Name's Zak." He offered his hand. He shook it, and took a stool at the empty bar.
"From out of town?" asked the barman.
"Yeah. Came down for my daughter's wedding."
"Same sex wedding?"
"No, nothing like that."
The barman placed a beer mat on the counter together with a pint of beer. "Enjoy, sir."
"Thanks."
He drew long on his beer until the glass was half empty. He would leave as soon as he had finished it. He thought of his pals in Nevada. They would have a chuckle when he told them. He drained his glass and set it on the counter. The barman returned.
"Another, sir?"
"No. I've got a helluva drive ahead of me before I reach home."
"Where's home?"
"Nevada. Little place called Jackpot."
"Ah. That explains why you're wearing a Stetson. You know in here people might get the wrong idea."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, this is not your normal bar you'd find in Jackpot Nevada. You understand?"
"I understand. I just came in for a beer. That's all."
"Still my customers might get the wrong message. It can get physical in here."
"I'm sure it can. But I'm leaving now."
"Fine."
Suddenly he felt the urge to urinate. His prostate was playing up again.
"Could you tell me where the gents are located?"
"To your left, and straight down the corridor. First on your right."
"Thanks."

He walked down the corridor until he found the gents. At the urinal stood a well built guy in shorts wearing a bright red shirt. He took up his position beside him, closed his eyes and waited for the flow of urine to begin. From behind him the door swung opened. Thinking he better make room for whoever had entered, he moved to one side. But to his shock the guy wearing the shorts suddenly had them pulled down, and lo and behold was sexually assaulted! And not a word of protest from him too! Still reeling from what he was witnessing, another male rushed in, naked, and taking up his stance behind the second one, began to have sex with him! That was too much for the man from Nevada. In all his years he had never seen anything like it. Three adult males going hammers and tongs at one another in a furious rhythmic motion. Forgetting altogether about the need to urinate, he quickly zipped up and fled. Hurrying into the bar he called out to the barman.
"There's three men in the gents having sex!"
The barman turned momentarily, and went back to pulling a pint of stout. "Is that so?"
"Yes!"
"On the floor or sitting?"
"Standing! Two on the urinal, and the other one right behind them. I've never seen anything like it!"
Tell me. Is the one in the middle wearing a polka silk shirt?"
He thought for a split second. "Yes! You know him?"
"Ha! Do I know him?" He placed the stout on the counter and, turning added: "That's good old Phil. You know that guy's lucky at cards too?"

end michael downes 2020