Cameraman

I am unfeeling
But I cry.
Silent screams into a pillow
Muffled by the palm of a hand
And the tears don't feel like my own
What feelings?
Thoughts in my brain
But none in my stomach
Or on my skin
Just ugly thoughts pounding inside my mind
Why can't you make me feel?
When you touch me
And kiss me
And say everything right
You cannot feel me
I do not feel you.
They say, "she's heartless
Don't look her in the eye
That woman will introduce the Devil."
And perhaps it's my fault
That the wind amuses me more than you do
Or could it be you and the lens
Through which you see
Me
The world
Yourself.
You and your little camera view
The perfect images
And feelings only spoken of
But never felt.
Broadcasted
But never once felt.
And in fact, I hate you
For making me believe that I cannot feel
Like I'm broken
Because I don't quiver at your touch.
You taught me how to wonder
If there was something wrong with me
Like when I was created
The atoms didn't mold together properly
Defective
As if the problem lies within my very making.
If I am unfeeling
It is because of you.
Close the shutter
And open your eyes.