'Tis the Season to be Murderous!

Writing.com G. Krone [e-mail]

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Word Count: 1,371

'Tis the Season to be Murderous! -

Ah! Karrington Blackwell. The quintessential gentleman about town known as Mr. GQ. The universe recently smiled upon Mr. GQ in a significant way. His grandfather left him a large sum of money. The patriarch was not just a grandfather to Mr. GQ, he was everything to him. His guide. His mentor. And so much more. The elder also happened to have retired as one of Santa's most prominent Little Helpers. But, a las, it wasn't all candy canes and merriment in the House of Santa - and his workshop...

Mr. GQ would often share with friends, "Grandfather was loyal, worked hard, and believed in the Santa Cause. He would rise through the ranks to become one of Santa's most gifted and persuasive Little Helpers. He was quite creative and invented many toys and gifts that kept up with the times, making it all full of glee, with no desire to flee from the holiday spirit. Grandfather shared many a story without missing a beat about all the gift making and the many ideas now in the world at large that were creations of countless Santa's Little Helpers from The workshop. One such delightful gem was of Grandfather's own creation. He would call it MiniZigii. Its kaleidoscope of flavors fascinated one and all, young and old. ...And its name eased off of the tongues of all the world over. Everyone in the workshop, including Little Helpers of all ranks found it to be magical, most wonderful. However, there were naysayers who got to Santa and turned him against the idea of making MiniZigii one of the gifts to come out of his workshop. Grandfather felt betrayed, bullied, and disgraced for no reason other than jealousy and petty eagerness by a powerful few to climb the Santa Cause corporate ladder."

"...Grandfather made it to retirement tired, disillusion, and unappreciated by Santa and his ilk. They made a bitter Little Helper out of one who was one of the finest, ever. He did, however, teach me all the tricks of the trade, but most importantly, the secrets of MiniZigii. And I am confident I can find a way to exact sweet revenge for Grandfather upon Santa and his workshop of fools!"

Mr. GQ made a special batch of MiniZigii for a chosen few to test its effects for the recipients who deserved it more than anyone, those at Santa's workshop.

After much deliberation, Mr. GQ decided to spend his windfall on delivering a blow with the most perfect batch of the MiniZigii elixir to those on the naughty list ... and those who stood idly by and dishonored Grandfather, a most graceful and dedicated Little Helper.

Mr. GQ made good use of his invitation plus one to Santa's Grand Ball, an event to which only a select few got an invitation by the white bearded one himself! The plan was sheer genius in its simplicity. The eggnog at the event was it! MiniZigii was to be mixed into everyone's favorite drink at the festivity. Santa's eggnog was notorious for its own special blend, which every year had a different taste to it, a distinction that made Santa more elated. He served it himself, to every guest, with voluminous and additional Ho-Ho-Hos, to make it memorable. Mr. GQ would ensure that this year's merriment was memorable, indeed. If Grandfather's drink was meant to ensure all who drank would know true self-confidence and the secrets of the Santa Cause, Mr. GQ's version would guarantee despair, doubt, and fear. How delicious! Mr. GQ relished at the thought of seeing the effects of his MiniZigii...

Mr. GQ was thrilled with anticipation with what came next. He met with his plus one and partner in crime, the infamous First Lady. She too had a bone to pick with Santa and his organization. Santa and Mrs. Clause had the audacity to turn down her invitation to the White House, not only this year, but others as well. The duo went over their list, checking it twice, and thrice, to ensure all who were to taste MiniZigii, did. And to guarantee the naughtiest of the guests got a special blend of the eggnog, they also devised a plan to get them under the mistletoe, a station staffed by their own brand of little helpers...

For starters, Ms. Manners, was fully expected to go with her nature and respond to the charms of he who would entice her under the mistletoe for her special kiss. Santa's executive assistant had manners, indeed, but of a special sort. She had an uncanny ability to deliver the most vicious tongue lashings you ever heard of. What's more, she enjoyed all the support and power from the rest of them... And she could never remember Grandfather's name.

Next, Mr. Schmidt, a.k.a., "Mr. Personality," and code named, "Mr. P.," was to be lured by the irresistible enchantment of his designated little helper who was to ensure he, too, got his kiss. As the chief of personnel in the Santa organization, Mr. P, saw to it that everyone was placed or moved, and not according to the wishes of the bearded one, but by his very own whim and mood of the day. This one never budged on anything Grandfather had to say.

Mr. Rightalwaze was sure to not be able resist she who was to work his penchant for being right all the time to get him under the mistletoe. As if his name didn't say it all, Grandfather, talked about this character all the time. As Santa's right-hand man, he wielded a lot of power and influence on the big guy. Grandfather, never stood a chance. He never hid or withheld his displeasure with all things and ideas related to Grandfather.

The easiest of them all to bewitch was Ms. Congeniality. Her own charming ways would be her downfall. This little gem manipulated Santa into pushing Grandfather into an early retirement and an early grave. Her mild manner and persuasive ways were often the most difficult to overcome for anyone trying to get through to Santa. And worst of all, Mrs. Clause, let her run amok with all aspects of how the Santa Cause brand was to be fed to the masses.

And, the worst of the lot for last! Mr. Bronnoser, one whose name also, said it all about his particularly disdainful brand of character, was the one to symbolize our gesture of punishment for all. This one was instrumental in dissuading Santa to honor Grandfather's idea of MiniZiguii for all, and for no apparent reason other than it was Grandfather's creation.

These were the worst offenders to Grandfather and the First Lady, so if all else failed, grinching those who were disrespectful and who so ungracefully gifted ruin and ill repute to Grandfather and the White House, would make it all worth it!

Years later, Mr. GQ, would share with friends a story about an incident at Santa's holiday party at his workshop and a certain stylish man with a flair for carnage....

"My grandfather was impressed with my ability to take MiniZigii with no effort or resistance. I regained control of my senses and began to weep and utter words of surrender while also asking for help in a soothing and calmed way. Thus, was Grandfather's intended effect of MiniZiguii for everyone. I was transformed by it from the first time I took it."

"Wow! Impressive. I have rarely seen anyone hold it together so well on the first try - unless they are truly gifted," said Grandfather.

"...To my surprise, Grandfather revealed a long-held secret in Santa's workshop - Santa did take MiniZiguii before giving his final No-Ho! in disapproval of the miracle elixir as a gift to one and all..."

The First Lady was excited beyond belief with her task to get Mrs. Clause to have Santa drink from the special batch of MiniZiguii.

The news of Santa's fate hanging in the balance as well as the illness that befell key members of his staff and workshop helpers sent shock waves the world over. As he told a certain dark holiday tale to friends over drinks, Mr. GQ, did so with a big smile and thoughts of Grandfather....

By G. Krone

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