Where was Moses?

Members of the jury,
I thank you for your time.
I’m sure that with a little thought
we’ll shed light on this crime.

‘Cause Moses couldn’t do it.
No matter what you’ve heard.
These accusations aren’t true.
In fact, they are absurd.

We know what time it happened,
just when the lights went out.
But I can prove, beyond a doubt,
he was nowhere about.

My client wasn’t near there.
And I will tell you why.
When all the lights went out that night
he has an alibi.

He was down in the cellar.
That’s where he often goes.
He takes his favorite snack with him,
as everybody knows.

You may have reservations;
I understand your doubt.
Not everyone would be the type
to relish sauerkraut.

He didn’t have a hot dog.
He ate it from the can.
I couldn’t do that, I confess;
he is the bigger man.

That’s why he had to hide there,
as strange as it appears.
They told him take his sauerkraut
and eat it down the stairs.

‘Cause no one else could stand it.
They couldn’t take the smell.
So he went off to eat his kraut
way down in that deep cell.

So who else could have done it?
Miss Scarlet comes to mind.
Or maybe Colonel Mustard did.
Yes, he may be the kind.

It could be anybody.
I haven’t got a clue.
But neither does the prosecutor.
(Well, that is nothing new.)

But one thing I can tell you,
as I have said before,
my client didn’t do this deed,
of that you can be sure.

Where was Moses when the lights went out?
Down the cellar eating sauerkraut!