How does it feel to wait for someone ??

I am in my late 20s and still SINGLE .... Am not sad because am STILL SINGLE. I do not regret being single for all these years because I have a great family and good friends to cheer me up and have my back whenever I need. But, I have started to think I have been single for reaaaally long and its high time I need a PARTNER. A Partner not just to get me gifts, have long conversations, go on a vacation, fight with, get upset about silly things but, to feel great to be with, to share my happy & sad moments, just to sit next to and do not say anything when I do not have anything important to say, to have a genuine smile on my face, to feel the butterflies in my stomach .

Now that am reaching 30 , I feel this is the right time to meet someone who can understand me, support me, guide me, love me, respect me and be with me for the rest of my life. As I mentioned in my first line, am single and I do not have any idea on who my life partner/husband will be. Have you ever been in this situation where you do not know whom you will fall in love with? Of course you don't. Because we cannot decide on whom we will fall for. If we do, that's not LOVE. It should happen organically, when you least expect it, when you are okay being alone and not really thinking about being in a relationship. I know it feel great to be in love though I am not in love. But, I have had crushes just like everyone in the world and few times hoping I would end up with my CRUSH .

My family is worried about me being single and constantly trying to find me a SUITABLE BOY. I really hope their wish get full-filled sooner . I did speak to few guys (may be 6 guys) over the phone after checking their profiles and thinking they can be a potential match for me. But, I do not feel I have found THE ONE yet.

Speaking of "THE ONE", after talking to a guy for few days I really felt he can be the one for me. We got introduced to each other through an app. He reached out first and then we exchanged the phone numbers and started talking. On one hand, he lives in distance, different continent altogether but, we are basically from the same country. He moved to different location to purse his higher studies and now working there. Me, on the other hand grew up and finished my Engineering degree in the same city, but moved to the other city, which is actually not far, when I go my job offer after completing my degree. We started messaging and calling often and all these happened in 2020. Yes, the very same terrible, Corona year. But, as we started knowing a bit by bit everyday, we liked it. Am sure he liked too, otherwise why he would have replied and kept in touch for 4 more months. Once we thought this relationship can be the one for both of us, we continued talking even after realizing the chances of him flying to my place and meeting me was far. It could take minimum of 5 months to meet in person due to the flights ban and lock downs. I was happy talking to him and imagining what we can do next in life together.

One day I realized yes we are happy but, are we really thinking about the future? When I asked him when can he come and meet me to say YES, he did not have a solid answer. I still do not know why he did not have a good reason for delaying the meeting. Then I made my mind to slowly detach from him after knowing we can only talk over the phone but this relationship is not going anywhere/growing. As I was interested in serious commitment and ending up with marriage, not that he did not wanted this, I wanted to make it clear to him that "if you are not taking serious steps to take this to next level, am not ready to continue this". I know he wanted to make this happen too, but, he did not know what he had to do next. He lacked that confidence and planning. I did not feel good about this. I started ignoring him and now we are not in contact. Its been 5 months since we messaged. I am still SINGLE and I think he is too. But, neither of us is taking the next step to ask if we want to take this from where we had left and go ahead. I have no patience anymore to wait and have lost the hope too. IT IS NOT A GREAT FEELING TO WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO COME INTO YOUR LIFE AND MAKE YOU FEEL HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL........ It is not really easy for me to write this as this is my first ever writing online and emotional topic too.