The Impact of One Assignment

School this, school that, school, school, school, and more school. I'm tired, Ms. MH. Hearing your frustration makes me feel bad but not nearly as terrible as how I feel each night hoping that I don't wake up the next day just so I don't have to deal with the agonizing pain of school. Knowing that you're getting advice from Ms. SM, a teacher that told us “it’s a good thing they canceled regents this year because all of you would fail” in a voice anyone could tell was passive aggressive, doesn't make it much better either. Ms. SM continuously mocks and shoots subtle insults at us because we stay silent. After realizing that our opinions hold little to any value to our teachers, we stay silent. What's the point in speaking out and saying “I’m confused”, “I’m not sure can you explain this differently?”, when we just get reprimanded and told we weren't paying attention. Even to the students that were paying precise attention but still can't grasp the context? It's always our fault and never the teachers, we don't put in the effort so if we fail then that's on us. But if we pass? If it's a student that didn't participate much then they passed because they cheated. If it's a student that doesn't hand work in on time then they must’ve passed because they got lucky. I'm not creating excuses but I am creating situations that schools decide are best left unanswered. Fear, anxiety, lack of motivation, lack of challenge, there are so many reasons for others, just like me, to dread waking up every morning and wondering if they should have killed themselves the day before. I know society isn't fair, but the worst part about is when people that can change even something small about the world, like teaching the new generation, are guided down the wrong direction and let that rub off onto others. I've had an average of over 90 for as long as I can remember and no matter what task I've been assigned I've always sat down and done exactly as I was told. Now I'm going to sit down and give up because what's the point? A number tells me how smart I am? A number tells schools if I'm good enough for them? A number tells me what I'm worth to society? If a number is going to decide what I am then I'm alright with that number telling me I'm worth nothing.