Streams and Jaffa Cakes

Jaffa Cakes and Streams

Chapter 1 - Freddie

One last kill and they win, the opposition are good though. Peeking round the corner in search of the enemy, Zombify makes his move. Jumping and spinning he fires in a 360 circle, taking out the last guy as he lands. It's a win for team DeathScale.

The voice chat roars with cheers and raving about each other's kills and style rewards. Joining in with the chaotic celebrating, I praise my team mates for our well-deserved rank win, that places us 3rd overall. Muting the voice chat with my team, I thank my followers and subscribers for their support, donations and new subscriptions to my channel.

Reading some of the comments as they fly up my screen, I catch a few comments and reply to them.

"It was a difficult match, the other team were really good."

"Yes, I am proud of that 360-jump kill, it's a move I've practised and failed at many times. And NO! I'm never showing you the clip of how badly I failed" I was laughing just thinking about the many fails.

I caught one comment, suggesting that I take that last move from up on the container and jump off with the 360, giving more room to land, to see and take out the enemy. It was sound advice,

"Thank you Quakers94 for the tip, I'll be trying it next time, I kind of wish I'd thought of it myself. Are you a ranked player?"

Seeing Quakers94 reply fly past in the chat, I scrolled up to catch it and see what he said, flagging his username as VIP so it would highlight on my screen.

Quakers94: Yes, I've played it since it came out in 2018, our team are ranked also.

"Really? That's great! We might have played against each other or might in the future. That's cool."

Quackers94: I'm pretty sure I would have fanboyed all over you if I saw your game tag show up in any game I played.

"Well, um, su-sure? I don't... Look, I'm just a regular guy here and when I play games, I'm just as bad at them as the next guy." I really wish I wouldn't stutter so much. It's a curse.

Quackers94: Trust me, you're amazing. I've followed and subscribed to your channel for the last year or so, and I'm still as big of a fan as I was. Probably more so.

"I really appreciate the support. Truly I do, I'm just an awkward potato, so.... you'll have to excuse me." I chuckle to myself, shift in my seat like I have ants in my pants.

"Anyway, do you stream yourself Quackers? Maybe you could drop your link in the chat?

Quakers94: I would love to, but no time with work and just life getting in the way. Speaking of, I need to get going, as usual it's been great watching you. You rock!

Quackers94: Until next time. Xo

Quakers94 - extended subby for 3 more months.

"Wow, thank you so much Quakers! I really appreciate it! I appreciate all of you subscribers and members. Well, that's all from me for today, I'm going to go and sleep for 3 days! I'm kidding! I'll be back here tomorrow; I hope to see you all then! Laters Gators!"

I closed out of the stream and tuned back into my voice call with the online team, chatting with them for a further 15 minutes, we planned out our next gaming session for tomorrow, deciding on what games we would play and who would set up the lobby, then signed off Discord. With a big stretch and yawn I leaned back, turned the seat so I could reach to shut down my PC, I rub at my eyes and kept them shut for a couple of minutes, opening them again once the sting eased and moisture retuned. Playing those high intensity games took it out of me, not just on my eyes, it mentally exhausted me. I might actually sleep tonight.

Though it was tiring and sometimes pretty scary with some of the intense fans, and haters, I couldn't deny how amazing it's been working out for me. I managed to buy this house outright. It's not a mansion or anything but it's a relatively new house in Conon Bridge, it's got 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and an attached garage. I really need to put some effort into decorating it, it's pretty baron if I'm honest. maybe I should put up some of the fan art?

I have my streaming room with my PC and monitors being the focal point, but it's decked out in LED lighting and shelves loaded with fan art, gifts and caricatures from the games I play most often. I've got some signed merch from fellow streamers who are way more successful than I am. I have a basic 3- and 2-seater sofa, and a dining table, that's the essentials, right? It's not like I have visitors any way. I roll my eyes at myself. Why do it up if I'm the only one to see it?

Getting up I went to relieve myself in the bathroom, I'd been holding it for so long the relief was so satisfying. Hunger spurred me on, I washed my hands then shook them dry as I moved downstairs and into the kitchen on the hunt for a meal. finding nothing to make a meal with I figured it was about time I actually got some groceries.

I chomped on the last carrot I had in the fridge, because why not. I hate shopping, but it's my own fault for not doing an online order, or even a click and collect order. With a huff at having to face this, I grabbed my wallet, keys and mask and left to go to the supermarket.

***

Grumbling to myself as I realised that I need to get fuel for my baby, lovingly named Kitt, a matt charcoal grey Jeep Wrangler 4 door Night Eagle, it's my pride and joy, but it's thirsty. With me being the quint essential vampire pale skinned and skinny geek, the car did not suit me, at all. I'd worked so hard getting to where I am though, so I wanted to get my dream car. Loving the idea of wild camping so much and living in the Highlands of Scotland, there were so many wild trails I planned on taking. I just need to gain a little more confidence in myself to take that first solo trip.

In Asda car park, I went to the back corner where I had enough room for Kitt to not be a problem for other people. Sanitising my hands, masking up and grabbing my bags from the boot, I mentally prepared for being amongst people again and interacting as myself, Freddie Cameron, and not as Zombify. Crippling shyness is awful, but as Zombify I could be who I really am, is it any wonder internet anonymity is seductive.

Never having shown my face and staying anonymous has been a blessing and a curse. being asked every day when I would reveal who I was, was exhausting. Then there is all the hate mail and messages, let alone the death threats. It was wearing me down, making me so paranoid about ever actually revealing who I am, especially since I am well below average. How could I ever live up to the expectations of the world, I couldn't even think about how much of a let-down I would be.

Snagging a shopping trolley, I went through the routine of sanitising it at the station, I set out on my new mission, survive the panic buyers and crazies of the supermarket. Auto-pilot kicking in I sunk into my own head again, thinking about what I could do for content. With never showing my face it was pretty limiting, I'd thought about doing reaction videos, but they are very tricky to do without a face. I might give it a try and see how it works out.

Maybe I could have guests on and have their face showing but not mine? That might take some planning out. Stopped in the aisle I pulled out my phone and noted it down for later. I looked at what I got so far as I picked my cereal up off the shelf, all the essentials, good, I didn't pick up any weird things again. I did that sometimes when I let my mind wonder off. I've still got that nail polish I accidentally bought months ago in the junk drawer. Never know, I might need luminous orange nail polish someday.

In the biscuit aisle I got some Oreos and reached for the last twin pack of my favourite Jaffa Cakes. I'm so looking forward to sitting down with a cuppa and Jaffa later tonight. It's been a while since I last had them. Without thought, I lifted them but they were tugged the other way. My brows pinched down, confusion jumbled my head for a beat, it took me a second to realise I was in a Jaffa standoff. There was a man on the other end of my box of Jaffa Cakes.

We stood there for a solid 2 minutes in a silent stare down. No way was I giving up MY treasure to this random guy. Blinking twice I looked back at the shelf, there were no Jaffa Cakes left. this was absolutely the last box. Narrowing my eyes determination setting in, I held eye contact. Someone in one of my many gaming lobbies once told me, that holding eye contact would assert dominance and you'd get the upper hand. I was going to dominate the fuck out of this guy, he'll never get my Jaffas. Never.

The other guy stared back at me, with amusement. Well fuck. I'm pretty sure my dominating needed more work. Maybe I read the instructions wrong. Frowning to myself, I looked down at the box between us, thinking about that whole thread again. It definitely said that holding firm eye contact would assert you as the dominant male. I don't get it, why isn't it working? This guy should be buckling under my stare down.

Looking back up at the guy in utter confusion, I blurted out "Why aren't you caving? They're my Jaffas." Then the guy, he fucking laughed at me? Like he thinks I'm being funny. I never joke when it comes to my Jaffa Cakes. Ever. I scowl so hard at him I'm surprised death-rays aren't shooting out of my eye sockets. He laughed again. what the actual fuck is going on?

"We both grabbed the box at the same time. How about we split them? You take one sleeve of Jaffas, I take the other and we call it even?" The guy suggested. He sounds like a reasonable guy, but that must be what he wants me to think. I did the dominance stare down and he laughed at me. That's not a rational human-ish thing to do. I guess that means I'm dealing with a supermarket crazy again. Why are there so many about?

"Oh, that sounds so reasonable, doesn't it? Well I'm on to you, who's going to pay for them? and what's to stop you just grabbing and running as soon as I agree? I'll NEVER give up my Jaffas like that, I'm no fool, NOT TODAY SATAN!" I make to jerk them out of his grip, but somehow, I end up on my back on the floor, one hand still on the box and the other clutching his inner thigh. I'm so confused.

"Wha... What just happened?"

"Uh, are you OK? could you not dig in your nails so hard?" This guy is still laughing at me! Fucker.

"You just went down; I don't even know what happened. One second you were shooting daggers at me, the next, it's like you had a mini seizure and just went down. Are you good bro?" This mother fucker right here, I swear.

scowling so hard my lips tingled with how tight they were pinched, I growled,

"You fuck. You did that.".

I crawled my way back up to my feet, never letting go of my Jaffas. No way was I giving them up, not now I know he's a supermarket cretin.

"Look, I'm serious, I'll split them with you. I'll even pay for them, I just need to get some Jaffa Cakes because they are my sisters' favourite and she's pregnant, I cannot and will not allow her to come to my home and not make an offering to the Pregnant Woman. Do you have any idea how scary a pregnant woman is? Its life and death, no lie! Name's Sean, and you are?" Holding out his hand to shake... he really was trying to make me believe he was a nice guy, but I wasn't born yesterday. He wants to shake hands so I'll take my hand of the Jaffas.

NEVER GONNA HAPPEN PAL. He probably doesn't even have a sister. This is a Jaffa Heist!