The Diet

“Here we go again.” I say to myself, as I look in the mirror. Another diet. This is the fifth outfit I’ve tried on and I literally could care less what looks good on me. I do however care what is appropriate, and fits. Nothing I own that’s appropriate, fits.

A person can’t wear inappropriate clothing to an event because that makes the person obvious. They are looked at and thought about, maybe even commented on. Just the thought makes my introverted blood run cold. And I can’t not go to the event because it is the funeral of my Uncle Frank. Uncle Frank was not an introvert. However, he was a hundred and two. The entire town will undoubtedly show up and if I’m not there, I will undoubtedly become the talk of the town. I shudder at the thought.

I haven’t got time to lose weight before this event, I will need to go clothes shopping this time. Dread, dread. But I can’t take chances on what will happen next. A wedding? A birthday? Christmas? Those sneaky events you are required to celebrate with people! I have outfits for them all! I’d need to go on a diet to use them, or to go shopping even more than just for this event. Lots more! I shudder to even think about it. I can’t even buy online, they don’t make the clothes I wear anymore! I have to go try things on, I don’t even understand sizes anymore!

“Take a deep breath!” I tell myself. I can tell I’m beginning to panic. Which is worse. Shop once, and go on a diet, or buy a whole new wardrobe?

“Breathe.” I tell myself. I breathe as I pick up another chocolate cookie bar.

This may be harder than I thought...