Fiorella

Last night I fell in love with someone who doesn't exist. I dreamt I had a daughter. Her name was Fiorella. She was adopted; I'm clearly never going to have children. I'm also certain any child would have a horrible life with me as a parent, but maybe dream Andrew was better than real Andrew. I don't remember what she looked like. It doesn't matter. In the dream, she asked me why she didn't look like me and she didn't have a Mom. The truth was likely depressing, the facts likely cold. Many people don't understand why it's imperative that children have stories about things like Santa or the Easter Bunny. It's not because they can't handle how cruel the world truly is; it's because they deserve better than how cruel the world is, and we owe it to them to give them a better world for as long as we can. Children are blessed with the ability to find magic under every rock and behind every tree and it would be the most grievous of sins to take that from them. So I told her a story.

Once upon a time, there was a guy named Andrew. Andrew was usually sad. On those sad days, when he could, he liked to walk in the forest. He did this as many days as he could. But this day was a special day. When he was walking deep in the forest, he saw a single sunflower growing right out of the ground. There was a break in the canopy and a single beam of sunlight shown down on the flower. When Andrew saw this, he knew that the flower could make him happy. He started walking toward it, but in his way stood an angry, mean, gigantic turkey. You might laugh, but you don't know how evil a turkey can be until you see one in real life. I'm not going to say exactly what Andrew did to the turkey, but we will be eating him next Thanksgiving. Next, Andrew came across an army of squirrels and they all threw acorns at him! They didn't hurt at all, but acorns can be really annoying. All of the built up stress and anger caused a bunch of Andrew's hair to fall out! So that's why I'm so thin up there. Next, Andrew came across a bear. His name was Bear. Bear wanted the sunflower too. So Andrew decided to settle this the way he liked to settle all of his problems: unarmed single combat. Andrew and Bear wrestled for hours and hours and hours! After enough hours, Bear said, "Andrew, I cannot beat you. You have earned the right to the sunflower". And Andrew said, "That bear just talked to me. I really gotta stop drinking." After his wrestling match with Bear there was nothing keeping him from the flower. It was all his. He grabbed the flower and pulled with all his might! But he got a little surprise. At the end of the stem was not a bunch of roots like he expected, but a little baby. He took the flower off of the baby's head and re-planted it in the hopes that another sad person would come along and it would make them happy, and he took the baby home. That is where you come from and that is why you are Fiorella, my little flower girl, the sun in my life.