Happiness

          HAPPINESS
          Happiness has really changed in definition over time. To some, it is having what they want, to others, it is determined by who they are with, and to most, it is based on comparison with whoever they deem happy around them; mostly online and at times in their physical circles
          There is a time when as children, we enjoyed carrying out activities together; among them playing, swimming, herding cattle, or just walking. We did not have access to people across the globe to compare ourselves to. We could not see what they had and that made us more content with ourselves
          Things changed when phones, computers and the internet became so common, as it is now. Being able to get online and see your agemates have access to the best of life made us feel less of ourselves. Their confidence around great houses, nice cars, beautiful phones, and the best of clothes made us desire to be in their positions. Our inability to get these things, however, set us automatically to the position of followers
          You realize our definition of happiness at this point had already been tampered with. We imagined that these things made these people happy, and that we only needed to access these things to be happy as well. We discarded our ways that brought satisfaction to our lives, and the older we grew, the less contented we became with whatever it was we had in our plates.
          Instead of getting together to play and generate our own happiness as we had been before, we launched a competition against one another; working hard to prove to each other that we are happier. Trying to look happy, while refuting all the possible ways of being actually happy. Looking for followers and people online that we can prove to that we are fine, and again, happy
          The point of all this, you ask? To feel good about ourselves. Yes, I can't clearly remember when or how we lost self-esteem, but what I know for sure is that at some point, we stopped feeling we were the best of ourselves, and someone somewhere is living our dream lives. We can't be them, we can't be with them, we can't get to them, but we try to look like them, so we end up being NOT ourselves.
          Okay, this is where it started. Remember when your parent was not so pleased when you didn't top that class? Remember when you couldn't represent the school at an English symposium because of your deep accent? Remember when you couldn't get yourself a girlfriend because your life is not flashy enough? A lot of things you have not gotten access to just because of the negative stuff around you; stammering, wheelchair-bound, ugly face, funny voice, poor background, and so on and so forth
          Probably nobody really turned you down because of your shortcoming, you actually turned yourself down. Yes, you possibly let your weakness be reason enough for you not to try. You didn't talk to that girl because around her are only rich men. You have not applied for that job because you have decided that you are not qualified enough. You have not spoken out because you know you will stammer.
          Your mind is so powerful, it can generate possible responses even if you have not gotten them yet. You can choose to discard these responses or let them recite themselves in your head every time you think of trying. Stop thinking about who is in a better position than you before you take up an assignment. Your shortcoming might be your added advantage, use it. Do not let anything push you down
          Probably your parent no longer scolds you for being less, as compared to other kids. You are most probably are on your own right now, and a lot of things you do are self-motivated, decide and executed. Yet you have never let go of the comparison culture that you were introduced to as a child. You still compare yourself a lot, and with the internet and social media in place, you only have more and more people to compare yourself to. You are looking at a lot of things around you and you hate yourself more. Even your natural dark skin that was once a non-issue now bothers you. Your old phone that you were once proud of is now something you really want to replace. Your clothes, your shoes, your house, your neighborhood, and all that
          Come on, live your life. There is strength in you, focus it in working toward your dream, and don't tell me your dream is to be the flashiest worldwide. Organize your steps, write down your ambitions, recognize your achievements, even if they are long overdue.
          Trust me, working towards being the best version of you seems hard before you start, but the moment you do, it is way easier as compared to trying to look happy when you are not. Stop acting, start living. ACCEPT!