A Whisper Of A Story

Have you ever felt this pit,
This feeling of impending doom,
Spoke this one word or sentence,
And the world feels shadowed with gloom?

Has that sentence that you whispered,
With a hope others will understand,
Kept you up at night,
Filling your lungs with sand?

Trying to open up,
To a friend I’ve had forever,
Telling them a tale,
But I wish I had never,

A year or so ago,
A story of broken mirrors,
A story of sleepless, broken nights,
A story of tears streaming like rivers,

A story of measuring tapes,
And meaningless reassurances,
A world where everything I did could be better,
And this fear causes me much too many disturbances,

A story where I whisper a name,
Wanting them to hear,
The soft sounds of suppressed snuffles,
But no one comes near,

My body is a prison,
And sometimes I try to send out a plea,
But no matter how I try to call out,
No one seems to hear me,

Until you,
Standing there and listening,
Confused, baffled, quiet,
As I listen to my heartbeat quickening,

But still, I sit here and sob,
Because I didn’t want you to see,
The little corner I seal off,
But my mouth wasn’t listening to me,

You were my safe spot,
My safety corner,
I fought off the demon inching ever closer,
But you didn’t look at me any colder,

I told you I was fine,
That the monster was chained up,
But sometimes it rattled the bars and the monster would roar,
Turning my life corrupt,

But still, here I am,
Because I wanted you to never see,
Me darkness and all,
A chained bird longing to be free,

I pour out my thoughts on the page,
For hundreds to watch, to know it was read,
Because maybe the world,
Won’t leave me to suffer, my words unsaid.