Man Boobs

I’m starting to get man boobs now.
You know the ones I mean.
The ones I never dreamed I’d get
when I was young and lean.

They weren’t there just yesterday,
I’m pretty sure of that.
But it’s a sign I hate to see.
It means I’m getting fat.

I’ll have to get down to the gym
and do some exercise.
If I don’t move my butt around
I’ll be an extra size.

I hope that there’s some muscle left
beneath this flabby skin.
(In truth I never had much bulk;
I used to be quite thin.)

But I was always strong and fit.
At least I tried to be.
(You might have had a different view
than what I thought of me.)

It doesn’t matter, here I am.
I’ll start to firm up now.
I’m sure it’s not too late for me.
I’ll get in shape somehow.

What did you say? It can’t be so.
I’ll have to give up beer?
Oh man, that wasn’t part of this,
not what I want to hear.

You know, these man boobs aren’t bad.
They’re really kind of small.
No need to give up beer right now.
No need for that al all.

It’s not like I’m the only one,
just take a look around.
There are so many men with boobs.
The quantities abound.

Forget about that exercise.
I’ll just wear bigger clothes.
And if they’re selling man boob bras
I don’t want one of those.

I’m glad I came up with a plan
and know what I will do.
For now I’ll put the TV on
and have myself a brew.