Care

Only he existed, no one else, no one has ever existed and no one else ever will{/pre}, this is what Ashwin felt standing at that shore of that almost dried up lake. He was wearing blue shorts with beige shirt which was unbuttoned completely and was fluttering in the wind, producing a sound of resistance, it felt like his shirt was fighting him to break free. Ashwin raised his hands in-line with his shoulders, facing that wind, feeling it wholly on his chest, he felt relaxed, he felt not alone anymore; he thought, he had someone tangible to fight; he fought valiantly, but after a while, accepting defeat, he dropped his hands and sat on a big sandstone on that rocky shore, a sandstone which was still unbroken in that broken surrounding.
Ashwin experienced some placid moments of twilight which had an orange sky filled with birds going back to their abodes, then came the night sky which gulped everything seen and unseen. In that moment Ashwin again felt that sweetness filling his mouth, the sweetness that demanded something bitter right that instant, the sweetness which felt like it was slowly killing you if you were a diabetic. Ashwin got up and crossed the bushes which acted as a barrier between the shore and the road; it was protecting the shore unsuccessfully from men. Ashwin had parked his scooter on the side of the road few feet away from a solar-powered street light pole, on one side the road led to the village nearby and on the other to the city; a city which Ashwin used to survive, to come to that shore; he took out a water bottle from the dickie of his scooter and sipped some water hoping to disperse that sweetness but he knew it was a futile effort, it was not something physical he was experiencing, it was a reminder, a reminder which the night's darkness had brought to light, a reminder of his insipid life, it was a reminder of suffering, a reminder asking for a permanent kind of placidity, a reminder asking him to do something, not for bread, but to feel alive, something he could love…something….anything….a reminder asking for immersion, a permanent immersion.
A stray dog came towards him, it came from the nearby village. Ashwin and that dog held an eye contact for a few seconds, Ashwin felt like it was asking him for help. In those moments the dog was real to him, it was an animal asking another animal for help. Ashwin remembered reading a quote which said this must be how human civilization started, when a 'pre-civilization man' helped another one. Ashwin thought, there was a presumption in that quote, a presumption of compassionate act performed, whoever said it, didn't consider that it might have been the help of impure kind, the kind where help is lent in hope of future payback, in this way the foundation that was established of society aptly explains the condition of present society; but yes, its possible that the person whose quote Ashwin thought of might be accurate, that the help was lent out of compassion and if that was the case, then the present society must be the result of corruption imposed upon the foundation, in this case, the help lent was of a pure kind, when one does something just because he feels like doing it, it’s only possible in a moment of total honesty. Ashwin wanted that quote to be true, Ashwin wanted to think that in his uncivilized, unsocialized state, men were once pure.
Ashwin petted the dog; this was the only solace he could provide to himself and the dog in that darkness.