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I have no idea how it got this far, and I'm ready for it to end. |
My last few minutes lasted hours. I remembered the first time it happened. I was fourteen. We had argued and I'd stormed to my room. He usually came upstairs with some calming tea and we talked through my sadness and anger but this time when He came, there was malice in His eyes. Before I knew what was happening, I could feel the liquid fire coursing down my chest. I tore at my clothes but the sensation made me scream louder in pain. His hand flew to my mouth to keep me quiet until I stopped writhing and the burning subsided. He tried to drag me to my feet, but I think I might have screamed, and that's the last thing that I remember before waking up in the hospital. The Dr asked what I could remember. I tried to think, but He was stood in the corner glaring at me and I knew that I couldn't admit the truth. So I just admitted that I had tripped and spilt my tea over myself. For the next three years after that, I became 'unfathomably clumsy'. I longed for the Dr to see what was happening. Every time I came to the hospital with another broken rib, or bruises on my face, or burns across my body. I honestly thought that it would click at some stage, but it never seemed to. It was as though the Dr believed Him when He said that I was hurting myself and was clearly mentally unstable. So I was referred to a clinic. That was two weeks ago now. And since the Drs referral, tomorrow should have been the day that I was checked into the mental health hospital. Only, He wouldn't allow that to happen. If I'm not under His roof, how would His secret be kept safe? During my last few minutes, I see no memories of safety or of days that we were inexplicably happy, although I'm sure there must have been. All of a sudden I begin to have an unsettling sense of freedom, and I know it's just as they're about to turn off my machines. I'm pulled into reality, although it still feels like a dream. The Dr whispers to me, she apologises. She said that the police hadn't believed her the first time. That there was not enough evidence. But she hoped that I knew what was about to happen. The last thing I heard before the beating stopped, was Him being arrested, and the Drs final words to me. "You're safe now." |