Mental Health

MENTAL HEALTH

The verbal abuse from my mother was the trigger,

Said she should’ve put my black ass up for adoption I reminded her of my father,

I never met the man so why bother. Face Booked his ass he didn’t respond I screamed and hollered

Age 30 drinking 211 had no time to listen to your problems mine were bigger

and more detrimental to my well being

Caught a mental health jacket and began thinking about the stigma associated with being on medicines for all types of diagnosis, bath salts left me in psychosis

CELEXA DIDN’T WORK, prescribed Trazadone I didn’t need

The doctor said it wouldn’t hurt Wishing I had friends like Ernie and Bert

In my mind I was Enemy of the State running though the streets barefoot with out my shirt fractured my leg jumping a metal gate

Fleeing and evading the cops said SURRENDER!

BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE! I altered fate with all my goddamn mistakes,

WHY couldn’t I be addicted to cheese cake? Get the bag,

Walking around in Ralph’s shopliftin' for Rotisserie chicken tears in my eyes because life’s so sad. Full of misery and regret

thought about killing myself two and a half times mysterious men asking me why I’m not dead yet? I TOLD YOU I’M TRYIN’!

But glimpses of hope made me realize my disease is no joke.

People passing me by with families and a mortgage. My back packs full of carjacking supplies. I slept in Public Storage wearing flashy ties to look presentable to prospective employers

Who feel I’m purely expendable. You can see from my vocabulary I’m not remedial

It’s imperative that I don’t get classified or grouped…with the same loonies and quacks that run into high schools and shoot

Riding the orange line at night cuz I’m homeless and out of loot observing the PITFALLS OF POVERTY

Psyche doctors searchin' for new recruits to experiment on

Venturing down avenues having the audacity to question if what I’m taking might be poison. ILLEGAL CONTRABAND.

This doctor is from IRAN?!? Might be akin to Ahmadinejad exposing medication scams and then I ran!

Into oblivion, 37 YEARS OLD NO WIFE NO CHILDREN.

Sleepin in abandoned buildings in such abysmal condition,

That the moon was my electricity and the stars my ceiling.