The Wrath of the Manchild!

It was July 27th, and your mother has just given you a shopping list, telling you to pick up some more sandwich meat along with restocking on fresh water and your sodas, including Orange Fanta. You tell your mother you will be back shortly and head to the van. Some time later, you arrive at Kroger and go inside. As you look around the store, you notice that the drink isle is quite empty. You go up to an employee and ask about it and they said that there is a shortage going on and they will have to wait until they can restock. You sigh and buy the sandwich meats before leaving for Wal-Mart. When you arrive, you have faint memories of when you vandalized the Hexbox stands and some random bitch in a white coat kept throwing you out of the store afterwards. You think she was an apprentice to Mary Lee Walsh or something. Thankfully, the bitch doesn't seem to be around this time, thank the Commodore! You grab a cart and purchase your drinks and as you start to head out, your eyes catch a glimpse of something from the toy section. You thought you were seeing things at first, but as you got closer, your suspicions became correct...it was the new toys for that SLANDEROUS NEW MLP MOVIE!!! As you look over the plush toys, fire begins to burn in your eyes and without hesitation, grabbed one toy at a time and began to tear them up, like an angry, rabid dog! You have not felt this much rage since Sonic's arms were painted blue by Sega...which, by the way, YOU STILL HAVE NOT FORGIVEN THEM FOR YET! Just as you tear up the last, slanderous toy, you see a gang of Jerkops and Manajerks rushing towards you yelling, "HALT, STOP RIGHT THERE!" But you didn't want to stick around and grabbed your sodas and hauled it out of there in Sonic speed! As you put the last case of water in the van, you thought to yourself that maybe you should go to Target next and see if they got the cursed toys as well...
You drive over to Target and sure enough, you see the cursed toys in their horrifying display and just like you did at Wal-Mart, you went to town on these toys as well and bailed before a Manajerk or two could get their hands on you! Even though you have created quite a bit of destruction, your rage is still quite hot and you needed a way to cool it off and fast...

As you get home, your mother asks why you looked so pissed, but you don't answer her as you continue to unload the grocery. With your blood boiling, you waited until your mother was distracted by an episode of an ancient sitcom from the 60s before you decided to go into a room and, channeling your energy from Goku from Dragon Ball Z, decided to punch the wall in the room with hyperactive energy! After making a few sizeable dents in the wall, your mother storms in and asks what in God's name are you doing? You tell her that you were simply trying to swat some flies, but she rolls her eyes before going back to watch some TV. Even after punching all those holes in the walls, you are STILL FURIOUS about seeing the toys at the shops. Then an idea occurred to you...You decided to make a Youtube video directed to Hasbro! You whip out your camera and began screaming at it, warning Hasbro if they don't stop their shit, the dimensions will be in trouble!

After you shut off your camera, your mother storms back in and tells you to quit yelling and breaking shit before she calls the cops! You sigh and tell her you will. She then let's out a sigh herself before heading to her room to sleep like a Snorlax.

Even though making that video did indeed quell your anger quite a bit, you still have quite a bit of energy left from the rage. It was then you decided to look at the calendar and realized...it's the third day...meaning that it's Hanky Panky time with Mommy again! You quietly go to your mother's bedroom, quietly slipped in and as you slowly close the door, you tell your mother...

"Barbie-Chan...it's that time again..."