Why I'm the Mistress

Shh... don’t tell anyone, but I have a secret: I’m seeing a married man. I’m the one he comes to for a good time on the weekends, the one he seeks out late at night, and sometimes, even during the holidays (it’s dangerous, and perhaps a little selfish, I know). I’m certain his other half suspects something’s up, but I don’t think she knows, we’ve been going at this for almost 13 years. To tell the truth of it, I was technically first... we met when we were young, and in college. We felt like we could take on the world together, and had so much fun. But then things began to change. He began to feel different, to feel a tug in a different direction, so we parted ways for a little while. While she knew of our history, I’m not sure she realized the extent of how he felt; how strong our connection was. But he made a commitment, practically signing his life away. Some may ask why doesn’t he just leave, and then we can be together, without hindrance. But his loyalty is firm, he is devoted -- and there’s so much she provides for him, that I just can’t compete with. But it didn't take long, eventually he came calling. Sometimes I feel bad about it, and try to redeem myself. Is it bad I’ve tried to get to know her, and spent time trying to understand her? I’ve tried to give back in some ways; does it change the nature of our relationship? I’ll never really know. I know he can’t help it; he wants me. But sometimes he’s just too tired. Then there are the days where she demands his attention. She doesn’t want to share -- and can I really blame her? Sometimes, things are great, and we’re having a good time; but then she calls and interrupts, and he can’t refuse. There have been times I haven’t been able to see him for weeks, or even months. I try to move forward, and move on. But I just can’t help myself; I begin to resent her, even though I know deep down it’s not my place. Maybe I’m just in too deep... I mean, I’ve even been willing to relocate just to hold on. Perhaps this isn’t healthy... perhaps enough is enough, and I should just let go. But my man is married to the military, and that’s why I’m the mistress.



Note from the author:
I'm sure many people have seen and read memes, or small vignettes about life as a military spouse. Many I have read liken the military career to a mistress, while the spouse waits at home. I found this to be a refreshing take on an oft thought of reality. Military personnel quite literally belong to the government, and it's a lifestyle they are committed to (much like marriage). Sometimes -- often for some -- families get the leftovers; be it because of long hours, deployments, trainings, etc. First, before any reviews or criticisms, I know many people think, "well, you knew what you were signing up for." That may be true (for some spouses, not all), but it doesn't make the hard parts any less hard, or the reality of dangerous/scary situations easier to swallow. Also, if you're not familiar with the military lifestyle, this piece may not make much sense to you and seem overly dramatic. That's OK. This was written in solidarity for military spouses.