unsent letters

Dearest pretty boy,

Today, I woke up feeling exhausted. Not exactly a shock for the both of us. It’s been years since I’ve been scared of sleeping. Consequences do catch up at me from time to time. When noon passed, my nose was already runny. You have a better immune system than I do. I wonder if it was the weekly casserole your mom would send you from home. I’m joking. I hope your family’s well, I pray that Vicky’s doing better. So much for catching up, I know you hate beating around the bush. You must be wondering why on earth your meanest ex-girlfriend, who’d rather die rather than show affection, is wasting her precious time writing down silly love letters she’d never send anyway. That has always been my love language: writing you unnecessary love letters off and online. You figured it out when you got your twenty-second birthday present but I guess you forgot to remember. Regrets, pretty boy. That’s what made me open up my documents and enter a blank one. Although, I’m not quite sure yet where to keep these letters. I figured I should publish these online. Nobody really cares enough to read aimless letters by strangers online. One thing I’m sure of is that these are never going to end up in your inbox. I’d be damned if I accidentally sent these letters to you. Knowing how clumsy and careless I get with technology, we both know that this certain idea would not be impossible. Remember that one scene from Anne with an E when Anne sent Gilbert a letter confessing her love for him then the letter ended up in the dirt, unread and left to be one with soil? I wonder if cell phones were to exist during their era. You think they’d be able to get together without wasting much time and profess their undying love for each other sooner? But I don’t think so. Technology and time do not seem to entertain the progress of youth processing their honesty and feelings. I hope that makes sense for you. I can’t really counter technology by using itself. Flaunting stupidity does cease to be one of my talents. My eyes are getting droopy as I type for my life. I should be back tomorrow.

Have the day you deserve, my pretty boy.

Sincerely, your sunshine.