Confessions of a murderer

My name is Mitzy. I'm not going to tell you my real name. I'm going to tell you a bit of my background. I was 18 and almost ready to graduate from high school. I was planning on going out for a while after school. At the time I only lived with my mother. She never understood me or maybe she had tried and it just wasn't happening. So what!
It was about 12 pm and I was walking home from the small party I decided to go to. I had been doing a little bit of drugs that night so, I was feeling good. I stopped at one of the bus stops. Sat down on the bench for a few minutes, when a black car with dark tinted windows pulled up. There was a guy in the drivers seat and he had rolled down the window.
“ Hey, “ he said. “ Do you need a ride?”
He was cute, blond hair and was wearing a black t-shirt.
“ Sure, if your going my way.” I answered.
“ Where are you headed?”
“ I'm only headed to 105th street off Powell.”
“ Get in, I'll take you.” He smiled.
I opened the door and got in. Just after I closed the door he took off. We drove a short ways, when he started to talk, he said, ' I'm hoping to get something from you before I drop you off. I'm really horny and I'd like to have sex with you. I know a place close by and we can get out and make this a great night for both of us.'
Oh, hell no! If I'd known this was coming I wouldn't have gotten in the car. I remembered that I had my big switch blade with me. I could us it if I needed too.
He drove to this park not far from where I lived. He pulled into the parking lot and asked me to clime in the back seat.
“ Mr. I don't think this is going to happen. I'm getting out.”
I opened the car door and got out. In minutes he was on me.
“ Now, don't play hard to get. I see what you wearing and I'm trying to be nice.”
He was fast. He grabbed me, threw me down on the grass and got on top of me. Lifted my skirt I was wearing, ripped my panties off, unzipped his pants and that's when he raped me. Wasn't that I haven't thought about sex but like this is not good. I waited tell he was down, grabbed my purse and as he was fixing his clothes I pulled out my switch blade. Slowly walked up behind him and slit his throut.
He bled all over the car and himself. I let him just bleed to death. I took a few wiped I had with me and cleaned off the blade and put it back in my purse. I wiped down his car. I knew that I needed to make sure nothing of me was left in that car. When I finished, I slowly walked away. I didn't look behind me. I did look around some and didn't see anyone around. At 1am there usually isn't anyone in the park. I made my way home. Thank God, mother gave me a key.

I graduated at the end of the year. I had noticed the news a few days after I killed that guy. It was 1984 and back then, there wasn't much in DNA. I did notice that I had some bleeding after what he did. I made the decision not to say anything. I just went about my business as I always did.
I had gotten a job working as a waitress in a nice restaurant. I was making pretty good tips. Wasn't paid much hourly though. I thought about getting a night job to have extra money. I needed a way to make lots of money. It got my thinking of dancing in one of those strip clubs. After getting off work at ten, I made my way to one of the clubs I knew. I was going to watch how things are done and then talk to the person in charge about getting a job.
It didn't hurt that I was skinny and was will built up top. I carried myself very will. I walked and acted like I could take care of myself. That is what I showed people. Inside I still had doubts about myself.
Yes, I killed a guy because he raped me. Doesn't mean that I can't do it again. As I get older I would go work out a few times a week when I can find the time. I can lift about a 100 pounds, I can press with my legs about 150 pounds. So I am quite strong. I made a deal with myself. I wasn't going to let a guy do anything I didn't want. I was going to have more control over what does happen.
I had gone to a doctor a few months back to make sure I didn't get pregnant. It was negative. I got a good birth control and I didn't really smoke. I haven't done drugs since that one night. I would drink a little but, not much.

A week later, I had an audition to be a dancer and the lady in charge said I was good. She had given me a list of clothes I should go get and turn them into sort of a costumes. I liked the idea. Shopping I liked but, never spent a lot of money a sexy clothes. I didn't want to give guys any ideas of what I might be or might not be. I loved my jeans and t-shirts. Wasn't much into high heels. I knew I was going to have to dance in them so, I had to learn to get comfortable wearing them.
I told my boss at the restaurant that I was only going to have time to work there in the mornings because of my night job. I wasn't going to tell him where though.
My first few nights at the dance club was actually fun. I made about $600 in three night.
I've been living in a one bedroom apartment. If I wanted to, I could move into a better part of the city. Over all, Portland is pretty dang big and there are many different places. I've made the decision to buy myself a car in case I need to take a trip. I will have to get my drivers license. On Friday I will be heading over to the motor vehicles. I asked one of the girls I work with if they would help me study and if I can use a car for the driving part. Portland has you do your Paral parking by parking between two cars. Some states don't do that.
I also went looking at used cars to see what kind of car I want. Some car lots want you to do financing and other will let you pay there or pay for it right out. Which is probably what I'm going to do. If I keep making some good money dancing it will not take me a lot of time to have the money.
I've decided to go out clubbing tonight. I told myself that I won't be drinking to much. I need to keep my wits about me. I still either rid the bus or walk to most places. The club I'm heading to is in the northwestern side of town.
I'm also have a small itch tonight. I'm Looking for some guy that's by himself that I can get him to go some where with me. After we have sex, I'll slit his throat and watch him bleed out. I will need to find a place where we won't be seen.
I put on my jean skirt and red blouse. I'm also wearing comfortable shoes. I slip everything I need in my purse and head for the bus. Its only 11pm. The buses stay running tell late into the morning.
I get to the club and its already hopping inside. There's a small line waiting to get in. I can hear the music pumping from outside. I love this kind of music, its like a mix of rock and rap all mixed together.
When I was finally let in. I made my way to the bar. Ordered a jack and coke and turned to watch all the good looking people dancing on the dance floor. Got to love clubs for letting people let their hair down. For me, I'm looking for a good looking guy to come on too. I'm going to kill him and he'll never see it coming.
Grabbed my drink and went to find a table. I really wanted to get out on the dance floor. I'd drank about half of my drink when a young blond guy came over to me.
“ Hey,” he said.
“ Hi,” I said. I smiled some.
“ Would you like to dance?”
“ Sure, why not”
I got up, slipped my purse over my head and walked with him to the dance floor. We both danced facing each other first. Then, I got closer and started to grind a little. I could tell he was liking it and he began to touch my ass. It felt nice. A few minutes later he took me to a spot that was sort of private.
“ God, your sexy,” he said.
“ Are you wanting something,” I teased.
“ Of course I do. If your willing to say yes, we can go some where really private.”
“ Sure, I'm up for it.” I smiled.
“ My cars parked out back, Ready when ever you are.”
I walked with him to his car. He opened my door and I got in. We let and drove for a short ways. He pulled into a parking lot of a dark building. Wasn't sure about this. It could work.
He turned off the car. Moved closer to me and gave me a fairly wet kiss. Not something I liked much. Anything having to do with sex I didn't like much. He reached under my shirt and began to touch me. I moaned slightly.
“ How about we move to the back seat? I asked.
I opened the door and got out, opened the back door and got in. I waited a minute and he climbed in.I took off my panties and he unzipped his pants. He slowly moved close to me and started feeling me up. Just then, he moved so he can climb on top of me. He didn't take to long. He moved away from me to zip himself back up. I slowly moved and reached into my purse that was still around my neck. Took the switch blade out and with a very quick hand, I slit his throat. He bled out all over himself and the back seat. Some of his blood even got on me. I was going to need to clean up as will as I can. It took me about a half hour or so.
Making sure I had everything, I headed for home. I needed to get rid of my clothes and the easiest way to do that was burn them. I caught the bus, making sure that no one could see any blood. I covered up with the light jacket I stuffed in my purse. My purse can carry a lot.
It took me about 40 minutes to get home. I put all my clothes in a paper bag. Changed into dark running clothes and headed back out. There's a good place about 4 miles from where I lives. It used to be a homeless camp, so there was a burning barrel there. When, I got there, I tossed the bag into the barrel and poured some lighter fluid on it and lit a match. It started burning pretty hot. While watching it burn, I would look around and see if there was anyone around and I didn't see anyone. I went to find a long stick so I can stir it up. Wanted to make sure there was nothing left. It took about 30 minutes for it to burn. When it finally went out, I stired it again and went home.
I needed to go to the store to get more wipes. This last kill took more then I thought it would. Clorox bleach is great for killing germs and getting rid of blood. Thats why studying how they clean up crime seens came in handy when I was doing research in the library when I was still in high school.
By morning, I had heard they found the guys body. They said that they still didn't know who was killing young guys. They had an idea that it was done once before. They have no clues. They also know that who ever it was, was cleaning up afterwards so there was no DNA left behind. I knew they weren't telling everything. Plus, in the 1980's there were no security cameras. I also wasn't stupid, I knew as time goes on, it will be harder to keep from getting caught.
The cops may think that I don't like men. To think about this a little bit more. When I got raped by the guy, I'd already had thoughts of killing people. He just gave me a good reason for him to be my first kill. With this second kill, I enjoyed everything about this one. Yes, I had to have sex with him. I'm protected so I won't get pregnant. I make sure I clean him up too. No clues.

For two weeks I went to work. I didn't have that itch to kill again tell this guy at the dance club tried coming on to me. I said something to the boss. She only said that they do that sometimes. If he scares me, I can have one of the bouncers walk me to the bus stop. I shook that one off.
One night, I'm on my way out the door and there's this guy leaning against his motorcycle..
“ Hey, there girly. Need a ride.” He said.
“No thanks.” I said.
“ Oh, come on. It won't hurt you. Its just a ride.”
“ Really, mister. I don't mean to be rude. I'm not interested.”
He stood up and walked over to me. Grabbed my arm.
“ Mister, let go of me” I yelled.
A minute went by and the bouncer had heard me and came outside.
“ Mister, let the lady go, now!” The bouncer said.
He let me go and turned away. He got on his motorcycle and started it up. As he rode by, he yelled, “ This isn't over.”
Whatever I thought. I knew this job could bring out some creeps.
“ Thanks,” I said to the bouncer.
“ Give me a few minutes and I'll walk you to the bus stop. Here soon, I'll hope you'll get your car. Then, guys like that won't bother you.” He said.
I waited and he came out with his jacket on. We walked to the bus stop. We got there just in time for the last bus of the night to come. I was glad to be going home. I'd made $500 this night. I guess I'm getting better at dancing.
Because of that biker. I was going to need to make a few more trips to the gym. I needed to strengthen up some more. I almost thought about taking some self defense classes. I'll think about that one a little harder.
About two weeks went by and I had finally bought myself a car. I knew that the bouncer thought it was a good idea for me to drive to work but, it was easier if I just took the bus. I would leave my car at my apartment and use the bus. I hadn't seen that biker for awhile.
I came to work a little early. I was needing to talk to the boss. My birthday was coming up in July. I wanted that evening off, because I had plans. I was going hunting again. I was getting the itch again and needed to deal with it.
“ Hey, Genna. I need to talk to you.” I said.
“ Sure, sweetie. What's up?
“ My birthday is Saturday and I'd like the day off if I can.”
“ Come on with me.” She headed towards her office.
I sat in one of two chairs and waited for her to look in her book.
“ Okay, Mitzy. I can give you that day off and I hope you have a great day.” She smiled.
“ Thanks, Genna.”
I left to head towards the back stage area. It was time to get ready for my set. It would be one of three sets I would do that night. I never drank when I'm working.
My first set went great. By the time my second set came. I could hear some loud people yelling out front. I was just about to head for the stage when I saw that biker. He looked like he had been drinking and acting like a fool. He got yelled at because he was coming onto a girl that was waitressing. They were about to throw him out when he hit the bouncer. I stood in the shadows and waited. Genna came in the back and told us girls to get into a regular clothes and come out front. They were going to need to call the cops on the biker.
I was a little nervous but, I did what she said. I knew I couldn't answer any questions because I hadn't seen what happened. I walked out to the bar and sat on one of the stools. I was wearing my blue jeans and a t-shirt. Nothing that was sexy. Two young cops walked through the door. Genna had walked over to them and spoke with them. I could see that she was explaining what happened and that the biker was sitting at a table with the bouncer. I could hear a little of what she said.
One of the cops put the handcuffs on the biker. The other talked to the bouncer. He could see the blood coming from his nose and a start of a black eye. The bouncer was just protecting the girls and keeping really bad people from trying to do bad things. I just sat there watching the cops. They really didn't make me nervous and I know I didn't do anything wrong this night.
“ Girls,” Genna said. “ Were going to need to close for the night. You'll get your tips for the night and I'll see you all tomorrow.”
' Damn,' I thought. I went and got my bag and was heading to the door. I would be spending some time at home tonight.

A few days had gone by. Work was good. My birthday was tomorrow and I was going to kill again. I may like killing more then, when I killed for the first time. It was like having a rush and then, it was over. I left work that night. I was in a good mood too.
The next evening I got dressed for the night. I made my way to my favorite dance club. There wasn't a line this time. I went in. There wasn't a huge crowd. I ordered my drink at the bar and headed for an empty table. Sipped my drink for a few minutes. Leaving my drink at the table I made my way to the dance floor. I danced all by myself. Within a few minute a cute guy came up to me.
“ Hey, would you like to dance with me instead of by yourself?” He asked.
“ Sure, why not.”
We danced a few songs and then I told him I needed to get a drink.
“ Hey, I'll buy you one.” He smiled at me.
“ Fine,” I walked over to my table.
He brought the drink a few minutes later. I guess he saw what I was drinking and gave me the same thing. He just sat there sipping his drink and watching me. I knew to be careful not to trust guys who give you drinks. So, I slowly to a sip and waited to see if he'd slipped something into my drink. I wasn't feeling anything. I sipped it again. Still fine.
“ Hey, cutie,” he said. “ I was wondering if your looking for some fun. I know a place that private and we can get it on, if you want.”
“ Sure, why not.” I said.
I grabbed my bag and followed him out the door. We headed for a really nice black car in the parking lot. He unlocked the door and I got in. We left and drove to this park I knew. He got out and I followed with my bag on my shoulder. There was no one around. I followed him to a picnic area and I sat on the table. I waited to see what he was going to do.
He came closer to me and leaned in. Kissed me. Reached under my shirt and started caressing me. I felt him getting a little ruff. I told him to go slow. He slowed down just a bit. I moved just to the edge of the table and he reached up under my skirt and pulled on my underwear. They ripped a little. I moved his hand and slipped them off for him. After that, he unzipped his pants and it was on. He wasn't the quick though. Afterwards he turned around to fix his pants and I slid out my switch blade. Within 30 seconds, I slit his throut. It was fast. He bled away from me. I pulled out my wipes and cleaned the knife and cleaned him off. I walked to the car and cleaned it and then, left.
This was my third kill. I felt better. I grabbed my parka out of my bag and slipped it on. The bus stop wasn't far and I waited for it to show up. I made it home. Took all my clothes off and into a paper bag. I walked the few blocks and burned them. I knew I was going to have to find another place to do this real soon.

As the years went by. I had killed about 25 guys now. The time were changing and DNA and forensics was getting better. I knew that it was going to be a matter of time before they might just find out who I was and come for me. In Oregon, they have the death penalty. I knew that at the age of 54, I wasn't going to be pretty enough to continue to kill like I did when I was younger. I needed to figure out what I was going to do next.
I also know that the cops would call me a serial killer and I knew I was one. Personally, I had no feelings towards anything I did. I loved dancing at the club. I even went to school for awhile to learn something that would bring me enough money to live higher then back then. I worked.
I didn't get married or have any kids. That wasn't something I wanted for myself. I did have a few friends, but they were only at work. I kept my private life away from everyone.
I'm writing this now so someone will find it. I'm going to kill myself. I bought a gun about three months ago. Its sitting next to me now. I will load it and pull the trigger.
The End.