Didn't Matter

Today I sat and wondered
How come I'm so confused?
I couldn't help but ponder
Why I was abused

Was it because I was mean, or a bad sister?
Sometimes I would get hit so hard it left a blister
Why? because I didn't matter

I sat there and cried all the time
But I couldn't help the thought of living or dying

Would anyone care or even notice?
Then I began to focus
Nothing really mattered
I just felt like my life had shattered

Shattered into a million pieces
Would anyone help me to pick then up?
Of course not because I didn't matter

Matter to my brother or father
Why couldn't they just love me
Love me because I was their sister and daughter
No, because I didn't matter

I tried to get them to notice me
But they found something more important, the TV

Why was it that I didn't matter?
I asked myself this question and it made me sadder

Did I not try hard enough
Was I doing all the wrong stuff?

I tried to help, I swear on it
But the more I tried, the harder I got hit

I guess I really don't matter
Matter to my brother or father