Harsh Awakening

I still reflect on my harsh awakening
The years spent sifting
Through the detritus of my aching soul
Seeking the truth of my broken existence
Grappling with shadows, wrestling demons
Yearning to be something better

In the dirty confines of a basement apartment
I found myself
And was appalled and rewarded
Turned out I needed to love that thing I call myself
Somehow, through the pain and the shame
And that massive ego calling all the shots
I made gains

Behind the scenes –
Dishes in the bathtub
Psychotic breaks and cigarette night missions
Transcendence was scratching at the door
Formed on the side of my face like
Universal divots

Scarred student, reluctant teacher
Maybe it would be ok
To use this background to reach others

So many kaleidoscopic deities
Clogging the mind and confusing the scene
Trust your heart
Use the brawn, if you know what I mean
Work your way free