Balancing Act

It’s always been interesting to me how quickly everything can change;
how fast a friend can become a stranger,
or a family home becomes a war zone.

Sometimes, all it takes is a slight shift for everything to come crumbling down.

The truth is, nothing and no one is ever safe.
Everything has a demolition date- whether we see it or not;
whether we accept it or not.

I think I may have learned this lesson too young because it’s all I ever seem to think about anymore.
I can no longer look at someone without immediately wondering what their expiration date in my life is;
when the last time I see them will be.

When I meet someone, I don’t think about what our relationship has the potential to be-
I’m already thinking about when they’re going to leave.

In the end, that’s all that ever ends up mattering anyways.

I’d like to say that I’ve learned from my mistakes, but truthfully,
I can’t even decipher what they were to begin with.

Was it that I love too much, or not enough?

Was my fear of abandonment a self-fulfilling prophecy, or was everybody already going to leave anyway?
At what point does hopefulness become naivety?

Everybody around me is starting to get used to this balancing act,
and I am still tipping off the scales.