Diary entries of a sleepless maniac

Dear diary,

once again i can't sleep and i only stared at the ceiling for 30 minutes before getting up to write, definite improvement from before. I don't even know what to say. My mind keeps rolling around in my head, as if its come loose from a screw. nothing can make understand why sleep won't come to me, its scared of me. i would be scared of myself as well. All I can seem to do its scream and yell imaginary thoughts at any sign of sleep that dare show its face

My friends don't like me anymore. They never ask to hang out, and they hate me. they just hate me.

and I'm fat. ill never be thin. it rolls around my stomach and like its tattooed on my brain, i never stop thinking about it. my arms hang weird, my legs too fat when i sit. summer will be fun when it finally comes.

still no sleep. not tired. i grind my teeth as i write, angry i won't sleep. maybe guilty? but for what. I no longer live with my parents, there is no punishment for my lack of rest. yet I'm scared to let my feet hit the floor when the mania comes over me. my youth is no longer around to scare me into things i previously never wanted to do. now its young adult syndrome with symptoms of confusion that consumes my waking but should be sleeping hours.