Love is Patient

Patience is very important when showing your kid how much you love them. When you show patience, you spend more time with them and encourage them to grow. When it comes to that preschool age, children are still learning new things and trying to understand what they are learning. In this respect, we must be as patient with them as God is with us. In every way we are God's children and just like those preschoolers, we are learning and trying to understand God in our ever day lives. Perhaps the greatest show of God's patience is in the story of Noah. As it retells in 1 Peter 3:20, "the patience of God kept waiting in the days of Noah, during the construction of the ark, in which a few that is eight persons, were brought safely through the water"

Noah was introduced in Genesis 5:32 at 500 years of age and at this time he had his three sons, Shem, Ham and Japeth. By the time Noah and his family boarded the ark, he was 600 years old (Genesis 7:6). God was willing to wait about 100 years for Noah to be ready for the flood waters. I am sure in this time, Noah experienced doubt and much opposition, but still he persevered. So too, we must be patient until our kids are ready for the tasks we give them or the ability to learn what we want to teach them.

Of course, we don't have a hundred years to wait like God does. Our kids grow so quickly, our lives are so hectic, that we expect things to proceed at an accelerated pace. One of the simplest examples would be getting your kid ready to go out of the house. Getting dressed and putting their shoes on can be an aggravating endeavor and it is easier to just do it for them. Doing it for them, however, stunts their ability to do it for themselves and stymies their independence. In the long run, it also makes it more difficult if a second child comes into the picture. It is easier to get two kids out the door if one of them can dress themself.

One area of contention for me and many other parents, is expecting your kid to do what you tell them as soon as you do. I have often found myself getting frustrated when my son doesn't respond immediately. For example, when I tell him to put his shoes in the closet. This is where patience comes in. I have found that, rather than getting upset when he doesn't immediately pick it up, if I had just waited a minute, he would have done it. Each child reacts to situations in different ways and not being patient can be detrimental to their growth and development as well as your relationship with them.

My five-year old son received a bicycle for his birthday as he had been wanting one. I knew that it wouldn't be good to immediately take him on a long bicycle ride, so we started out taking short rides around the neighborhood which ended up being an extreme practice on patience. I got out my bicycle and the attached trailer so my daughter could ride with us and got it ready. Of course, by then Ben had already crashed with his bicycle going down the somewhat steep driveway a few days before, scraping up his leg. Patience was the name of the game as I convinced him that if he wore his helmet and knee pads this time, he wouldn't get so hurt next time he crashed.

The ride itself was short, but an extreme exercise in patience. Compared to my bicycle, Ben's was very slow which made it difficult to balance and not run into him as I rode behind him. He also wouldn't go a block without stopping at least twice. Often times to "put gas" in both of our bicycles and apparently to fix his as well. It was very hard to not lose my cool and insist he keep going. It was very warm and close to dinner time, but luckily my two-year old daughter Morgan was content to just sit in the trailer and chew on her harness. It was important that I kept practicing patience. There are too many negative consequences if I didn't. If I had pushed him to keep going, he could have begun riding recklessly and gotten injured again. Also, it would have taken his enjoyment of riding his bicycle away and he might not have wanted to do so again. Also, he would have not enjoyed our time together and having positive, fun experiences is essential in our relationship. He needs to know that I love him. While I say it to him all the time, actions speak louder than words.

Despite the aggravation, I was very proud of Ben! I was worried about not being able to stop Ben before crossing the street. Last time he had ridden around the neighborhood, I had pushed Morgan in the stroller and had to run to catch up and remind him to stop each time. This time, however, he stopped of his own free will and even got off his bike to scout ahead and make sure no cars were coming! I never had to say a word.

God tells us that to love one another is to be patient. In our children's lives, it is probably the hardest part, but also the most rewarding. It aids them in their learning process whether it is learning to ride a bicycle or learning to count to 10, showing frustration will only hinder their eagerness to do so. In Ecclesiastes 7:8, God tells us that "the end of something is better than the beginning. Patience is better than pride." This is especially true with our children. We are helping them to develop their characters and teaching them skills and social graces to help them lead the lives God intended for them. Above all, we are here to love them and it begins with patience.

Reflection
What is it your child takes the most time to do?
How can you encourage them and exhibit patience while they accomplish their task?