Love is Kind

Showing our children our love through kindness is the easiest thing to do, but can also be difficult at the same time.

When working in the garden, my son, Ben, took some of the pruned herbs I was throwing in the garbage and gave them a new home in the form of a bowl. He then gave them some water and would check on them and talk to them. I didn’t think anything of it until he says to his little sister, Morgan, who is just beginning to walk, “If you would be so kind, could you check on the plants?” as he left to “go to work.” This gave me pause. I was so proud of him! He was polite, cared about his new charges and was including Morgan (who had no interest) in his play. I also thought I must be doing something right, but how did he learn the phrase “If you would be so kind?” It is not one that I use. I always say some form of “please.” This reminded me, that our children will copy not just us, but anything they are exposed to, whether those influences are good or bad.

Turning to the Bible in Luke 6:31, Jesus tells us “do onto others as you would have them do onto you.” It is a well-known saying, but an apt one that we want our children to learn and emulate. If we are kind to our children as well as to strangers, then so our children will be as well.

What does being kind to our children look like? We already feed and clothe them and give them all the love we have. Being kind is not about being elaborate or obvious, but in many ways is quite subtle. One of the ways to be kind to your child, and anyone really, is to listen to them talk and try to understand what they are saying and where they are coming from. It is especially hard to do when they are building their vocabulary and their conversational skills, but it is so rewarding in the long run. If your child knows you won’t listen to them, then they won’t come to you with problems or for advice. Likewise, you won’t know what is happening in their daily lives and it will create a rift between you.

Also important is that you spend quality time with your kids. Put away your phone and any other distractions and focus solely on them. I find the best way to do this is to leave the house. At home, you can turn on the t.v., remember the dishes need to be cleaned, or even start talking with your partner. On a hike or a bike ride, however, it is just you and your kid, with nothing in between. Now, I am an avid photographer of my children and I always used my phone to do so. However, I have discovered that even taking a lot of pictures can take you away from that one-on-one time and you end up watching their lives through a lens instead of actively participating. Also, your phone is on hand and you can look at your emails, etc. Instead of your child. I bought a regular camera and now try leave my phone in the backpack with our supplies and have the camera on hand. The camera takes longer to turn on, so I don’t take it out as often.

Jesus was kind to everyone he met. Whether it was comforting the woman at the well, or walking on water to ease the fear of others, he was always selfless and kind. Although we aren’t able to perform miracles without divine intervention, we can give comfort and aid wherever it is needed. Likewise, we can encourage our children to do the same. These acts of kindness don’t have to be grand gestures, but can be seen in small ways, such as holding the door open for someone else or saying ‘Hi’ to someone and asking if they are alright when they look sad. Even a simple smile can brighten someone’s day when all they need is a friendly face.



Reflection:

1) What are you doing with your child to show kindness?

2) How can you both demonstrate kindness to others?



Try out the 100 acts of kindness project.