Moments of Choice

Desire is a double-edged sword. If our desires get too far ahead of us, it can make us feel overwhelmed and start to believe we're not good enough to achieve our goals.

Pushed to the extreme, the more our desire outpaces what we believe is possible, the more likely it is for us to succumb to despair.

In today's world, anxiety and depression, uncertainty about the future, and a sense that "what can I do about it" is a thought-contagion that really must be dealt with if humanity is to advance beyond our current challenges.

For you, this begins with you and your choices.

We think of ourselves as one person with one identity. Reality shows otherwise.

We are swayed by emotion, how much sunlight we get, sleep quality, the food we eat, the people we surround ourselves with, the thoughts we think, etc. These various environments easily affect our mindset, and from any given mindset we will make choices of varying quality when those moments of choice arise.

There is a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in each of us.

Dr. Jekyll makes virtuous choices that lead to a better life whatever that means to you, and Mr. Hyde seems to stumble into bad choice after bad choice until the shape of his life makes him wonder deep down, "how the hell did I get here?"

You arrive where you're at through those moments of choice. Sure, there may be moments that arise where you lack the ability to control all outcomes. Fortunes, good and bad, come and go; it is through those moments of choice where the randomness of fortune is directed for better or worse.

If these moments of choice determine our fate, and our mindset determines what we will choose in those moments, how do we shift our mindset to be, on the average, more on the Dr. Jekyll side of things?
How do we choose virtuously?

The question must be answered on an individual basis, but there are a few principles that I believe apply across humankind that are worth exploring more in your own life. These areas seem to reflect a deeper truth about how a mindset shift is created and fostered:

1. Meditation and visualization.

Decisions made with calm mind come from a place of clarity. We are emotional creatures who are yet capable of responding before we react. Before making a choice, get clear about where you want the choice to lead you long term. What are the values, experiences, feelings, thoughts you want to have down the road and how will the option you choose in this moment of choice take you there?

2. Just start.

It has been said that the cure for anxiety and depression is action. Movement toward a direction has an effect on mindset that shifts perspective. If you know a certain behavior to be virtuous - don't give it a second thought - do it, and your mindset will follow.

The quicker you throw yourself into the action and immerse yourself into the moment, the less your existing mindset will resist it; the more your mindset will line up with the energy of the action. Our minds are terrible at doing two things at once. If you can do good you will think good.

3. Support yourself with sleep, diet, exercise, meditation, journaling and reading.

The element each of these have in common is that they are good for the mind-body complex. It is a big ask to say that your mind can serve as a solid platform for a healthy mindset if your brain and body are not healthy. These behaviors are fundamental to creating a mindset that is healthy, because a mindset comes from the health of the brain and mind. These behaviors have been shown to have a positive effect on the mind and thus its ability to support a virtue-driven mindset.

4. Be aware of the thoughts you are having; challenge those negative thoughts and don't give them more control than they deserve.

Often a poor mindset gives WAY too much power to doubts, fears, and self-defeating stories. A great way to catapult yourself out of a negative spiral is to break the cycle by waking up that part of you that can challenge the thoughts you are having.

Is it true, what this thought is telling me? Is it really so that I can't...? That the situation is as hopeless as I think it is? Could my view simply be a reflection of my mindset?

Recognizing that your mindset might be the problem gets a foot in the door for you to switch your thinking and try something other than ruminating on the seeming impossibility of it all, opening yourself up to possibility even if the possibility is not yet obvious.

* * *

We are all swimming in choices every day. Most of them are not even consciously made. Many choices are made out of habit and the systems we live in and create for ourselves. Our minds have developed ways of handling the insane number of choices we have to make to move through our day.

We don't really become conscious of these choices until something wakes us up to the recognition that we're making these choices.

It is usually something that shakes us out of the routine in which the habit works on autopilot. It might be an illness, a moment of inspiration (or desperation), a recognition that what we're doing isn't working, etc.

These moments encourage us to dig deeper and look inward about the patterns of our lives and the choices we make in those powerful, meaningful moments of choice.

There is a way to be more intentional about personal growth; rather than waiting for an outside force to shake us out of our stupor - goal setting.

The process of achieving a goal often requires work, not only on the outside world where action makes the change we seek, but on the inside world, where mindset and the thoughts fundamental role.

A goal is a sharp tool that helps engrain behaviors into patterns, strategies, and systems that become habitualized.

On the one hand, the purpose of a goal is to direct efforts into its accomplishment. I think too there is a deeper benefit to having a goal:

It can reprogram our minds to take over the automation of the behaviors so that a goal is no longer necessary.

Discipline and commitment to systems we have created for ourselves that we know - when we are more on the side of expressing Dr. Jekyll tendencies - encourage behaviors that are better for us.

It is common to say to oneself, "I am going to do x, y, and z." The decision to make a decision is a good thing to be sure, but it is not actually doing anything just yet. You've only just made a promise to yourself.

Discipline, commitment, and the level of personal integrity you have for what you say you will do then determines if you actually do what you say you will do. If you decide to live differently, make a plan or goal, get down to the behaviors you will need to do, identify the barriers to getting these tasks done, reduce the resistance to doing and then you will develop the habits and character that leads toward a virtuous future.

As we replace lesser automatic habits with better ones we are freed to intentionally move forward with other areas that become evident as holding us back. We reprogram our entire lives to bring about a better life experience through the practice of making the small better decision when those moments of choice arrive.

* * *

Moments of choice offer opportunities for you to declare who you want to be.

Choices turned to habit become who you are.

If you want to change, first do differently. Find ways to incorporate that discipline into the very fabric of your being so that it no longer presents itself as a moment of choice where you can still choose the "wrong" choice.

When it becomes just who you are, those moments of choice now beckon you on to greater heights.

It begins in the next moment of choice.
Who do you want to be?