Brewing Kombucha

Brewing Kombucha

My wife and I introduced my brother-in-law to kombucha and he has started a side hustle job brewing Kombucha. We have been home-brewing it for the last three years. One side effect of daily kombucha drinking and daily Kefir eating (also hand-made) is that I finally kicked my seasonal hay fever. Used to have it really bad, but nowadays almost completely gone And I have lost weight down to 185 pounds from 200 pounds. And feel less overall arthritic and fibromyalgia pain (not gone but greatly alleviated.)

My suggested promotional blurb goes like this:

I want to take the time to introduce to my Korean friends and acquaintances a new product made by my brother-in-law, Lee Changwon. A few years ago we introduced him to Kombucha and he began home-brewing it. Eventually, he got it right and makes a decent Kombucha, brewed in small batches, not too sweet brewed with organic fresh ingredients., and is the real deal, unlike the stuff they sell elsewhere which is too sweet and defeats the whole point of drinking Kombucha! It is now available for order in Korea at the following sites. You can order via Paypal, Naver pay, or a credit card and they will ship it anywhere in Korea. The cost is quite reasonable as you are getting the real deal.


Note: he went with Mama Kombucha, not a bad choice but I like Health King KBC better.

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Kombucha slogans

Health King Kombucha Burma Shave style cowboy poetry

Health King kombucha
Secret drink of ancient kings
Taste the power
Feel the power

Be the power
Drink the secret drink
That the ancients drank

Drink Heath King
Kombucha
And become a King

Health King KBC
The Drink of Kings
Taste Health King KBC
And Become a King

Health King KBC
It’s the real deal

Health King KBC
Never Fake
Always real


Health King KBC
Organic
Gluten-free
No GMO
Vegan Friendly


Health King KBC
Real ingredients
Real love
Brewed in every bottle

Health King KBC
Accept no substitutes

Drinking Health King KBC
Will make you a king
Will make you
Achieve your dreams


NEW PROMPT: Tomorrow, May 6, is National Beverage Day! Write a story or poem about someone buying, making, and/or enjoying their favorite beverage.

NOTE: "Beverage" here is open-ended, so it can be a soft drink or something with alcohol; your choice. But if you mention any kind of alcohol, please remember that the minimum Content Rating for anything mentioning alcohol is 13+. (The Writer's Cramp accepts entries of any Content Rating.)

Notes:

Burma-Shave was introduced in 1925 by the Burma-Vita company in Minneapolis owned by Clinton Odell. The company's original product was a liniment made of ingredients described as having come "from the Malay Peninsula and Burma" (hence its name).[1] Sales were sparse, and the company sought to expand sales by introducing a product with wider appeal.
The result was the Burma-Shave brand of brushless shaving cream and its supporting advertising program. Sales increased; at its peak, Burma-Shave was the second-highest-selling brushless shaving cream in the US. Sales declined in the 1950s, and in 1963 the company was sold to Philip Morris. Its well-known advertising signs were removed at that time.

The complete list of the 600 or so known sets of signs is listed in Sunday Drives[5] and in the last part of The Verse by the Side of the Road.[6] The content of the earliest signs is lost, but it is believed that the first recorded signs, for 1927 and soon after, are close to the originals. The first ones were prosaic advertisements. Generally, the signs were printed with all capital letters. The style shown below is for readability:

Shave the modern way / No brush / No lather / No rub-in / Big tube 35 cents – Drug stores / Burma-Shave

As early as 1928, the writers were displaying a puckish sense of humor:
Takes the "H" out of shave / Makes it save / Saves complexion / Saves time and money / No brush – no lather / Burma-Shave

In 1929, the prosaic ads began to be replaced by actual verses on four signs, with the fifth sign merely a filler for the sixth:

Every shaver / Now can snore / Six more minutes / Than before / By using / Burma-Shave

Your shaving brush / Has had its day / So why not / Shave the modern way / With / Burma-Shave

Previously there were only two to four sets of signs per year. 1930 saw major growth in the company, and 19 sets of signs were produced. The writers recycled a previous joke. They continued to ridicule the "old" style of shaving. And they began to appeal to the wives as well:

Cheer up face / The war is past / The "H" is out / Of shave / At last / Burma-Shave
Shaving brushes / You'll soon see 'em / On the shelf / In some / Museum / Burma-Shave

Does your husband / Misbehave / Grunt and grumble / Rant and rave / Shoot the brute some / Burma-Shave

No matter / How you slice it / It's still your face / Be humane / Use / Burma-Shave
In 1932, the company recognized the popularity of the signs with a self-referencing gimmick:

Free / Illustrated / Jingle book / In every / Package / Burma-Shave
A shave / That's real / No cuts to heal / A soothing / Velvet after-feel / Burma-Shave

In 1935, the first known appearance of road safety message appeared, combined with a punning sales pitch:

Train to approach / Whistle squealing / Stop / Avoid that run-down feeling / Burma-Shave

Keep well / To the right / Of the oncoming car / Get your close shaves / From the half pound jar / Burma-Shave

Safety messages began to increase in 1939, as these examples show. (The first of the four is a parody of "Paul Revere's Ride" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.)

Hardly a driver / Is now alive / Who passed / On hills / At 75 / Burma-Shave
Past / Schoolhouses / Take it too slow / Let the little / Shaver's grow / Burma-Shave

If you dislike / Big traffic fines / Slow down / Till you / Can read these signs / Burma-Shave

Don't take / a curve / at 60 per. / We hate to lose / a customer / Burma-Shave[7]

In 1939 and subsequent years, the demise of the signs was foreshadowed, as busy roadways approaching larger cities featured shortened versions of the slogans on one, two, or three signs – the exact count is not recorded. The puns include a play on the Maxwell House Coffee slogan, standard puns, and yet another reference to the "H" joke:

Good to the last strop
Covers a multitude of chins
Takes the "H" out of shaving

The war years found the company recycling a lot of their old signs, with new ones mostly focusing on World War II propaganda:

Let's make Hitler / And Hirohito / Feel as bad / as Old Benito / Buy War Bonds / Burma-Shave

Slap / The Jap / With / Iron / Scrap / Burma-Shave

A 1944 advertisement in Life magazine ran:

TOUGH-WHISKERED YANKS / IN HEAVY TANKS
HAVE JAWS AS SMOOTH / AS GUYS IN BANKS[8]

1963 was the last year for the signs, most of which were repeats, including the final slogan, which had first appeared in 1953:

Our fortune / Is your / Shaven face / It's our best / Advertising space / Burma-Shave


Kombucha

Kombucha has trace amounts of alcohol less than one percent on average although there are hard kombucha available that are about 5 to 10 percent alcoholic.

You brew it much like home brewers brew beer, pretty much the same deal.

Kombucha (also tea mushroom, tea fungus, or Manchurian mushroom when referring to the culture; Latin name Medusomyces gisevii)[1] is a fermented, lightly effervescent, sweetened black tea drink commonly consumed for its purported health benefits. Sometimes the beverage is called kombucha tea to distinguish it from the culture of bacteria and yeast.[2] Juice, spices, fruit, or other flavorings are often added.

You brew it first, then bottle it with flavorings for a few more days. Our go-to flavors are pomegranate juice, cranberry juice, and ginger. You need to use plain black tea or green tea, Earl Grey has too much oil in it which interferes with brewing.

Kombucha is thought to have originated in China, where the drink is traditional.[3][4] By the early 20th century it had spread to Russia, then other parts of Eastern Europe and Germany.[5] Kombucha is now homebrewed globally and also bottled and sold commercially.[1] The global kombucha market was worth approximately US$1.7 billion as of 2019.[6]


this is a mixed fiction/poetry submission so did not know how to number it so I went with total words.