A Long, Boring Day

Competition Details ▼

Using the coronation of King Charles III this morning as inspiration, write a story or poem that includes all of the following, bolded (it can be about any topic) -

Harry smiled
she couldn't find her seat
Louis yawned
such large crowds
he waved from the balcony
family jewels

Louis yawned.

"Do I really have to go?"

"Yes dear, you do. Now stop complaining and behave yourself - you know how much Grandpa Chaz has been looking forward to today."

Louis slumped back in the car seat, his face a picture of petulance. He inadvertently made eye contact with his older sister, who stuck out her tongue at him. It was going to be a long, boring day.



As they arrived at Westminster Abbey, he heard his mother whisper:

"I've never seen such large crowds."

"Will Crazy Uncle Harry be here?"

"Louis! if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times not to call him that! And yes, Uncle Harry will be here, though you've not to speak to him. Is that understood?"

Louis nodded.

"And what about Aunt Meghan?"

"No, she won't be coming (thank God)."

"What did you say, Mummy?"

"Nothing - nothing at all. Now sit up straight and don't get your clothes all wrinkled."

"Daddy doesn't like Aunt Meghan, does he? I heard him say she couldn't find her seat with both hands and a mirror. What does that mean?"

His sister piped up.

"No he didn't, silly - he said she couldn't find her a..."

"CHARLOTTE WINDSOR! Don't you DARE finish that sentence!"

"Well, Daddy said it!"

"Yes, darling, I know he did. But he really shouldn't have. And I don't want to hear you - either of you - say that again. Now sit quietly, both of you."

Catherine slumped back in her seat and puffed out her cheeks. It was going to be a long, boring day.



As they took their seats in the Abbey, Louis and Charlotte looked around them, taking in the spectacle. After a few moments, Charlotte nudged her brother.

"Look! It's Crazy Uncle Harry!"

They turned and looked up the aisle, giggling as Harry smiled at people to his left and right, desperately trying to make eye contact with someone...anyone.

"You wonder how he's got the bloody nerve," they heard Daddy whisper before wincing as he got a sharp kick in the shins from his wife.

"Don't start, just don't bloody start!" she hissed. "They've got TV cameras everywhere and you know they hire lip-readers! Now are you sure your dad is all ready for today and knows what he has to do?"

"Well, he's as ready as he'll ever be. You know what he's like. I just hope he doesn't forget himself and start scratching his family jewels in front of an audience of millions."

He slumped in his seat. It was going to be a long, boring day.



Later that day, as they prepared to step out onto the balcony, Charlotte looked around and started to speak.

"Isn't Cra..."

The words stuck in her throat as she saw the look on her mother's face.

"I mean, isn't Uncle Harry going to be here?"

"No dear, he had to go home early."

"Yes, his day pass ran out and he daren't be late getting home to Stalag Montecito or he'll be on latrine duty for a week."

"William! Honestly, you're worse than the children."

William grinned broadly as he stepped out onto the balcony, his spirits raised. It had been a long, boring day.



At Heathrow airport, Harry finished off his all-day breakfast and downed the remainder of his pint. As he gazed down onto the concourse, a solitary cleaner mopping the floor happened to look up and they briefly made eye contact. He waved from the balcony. The cleaner looked back to the floor shaking his head, put his mop in the bucket and slowly wandered off. Harry turned back to his table and thought about the upcoming birthday party his wife had organised for their son Archie. Lots of squealing children, health conscious vegan food, cameramen by the score taking lots of oh so carefully posed family pictures in a desperate bid to reclaim the front pages of the world's press.

He ordered another beer and slumped back in his chair. It was going to be a long, boring day.

Category: Best Flash Fiction