i miss you

There was this girl who loved a man.
She had never been so attracted to someone in her young lifespan.

He had gorgeous blonde curls and the sweetest smile,
the kindest soul, and a cultivating style.
His eyes were hazel, and his gaze was captivating,
leaving her in a trance for a while.

A smooth voice deeper than most,
with an accent that made her want him to slam her against his bedpost.
She doesn't mean to boast, "Sorry if you think that's gross."

There was nothing about him that seemed off.
But she wasn't in his mind, she would soon realize she was far off.

He was battling inner demons that never left him alone.
Looking back on it now she thinks, "I should've known."
He should've never had to constantly face that on his own.
She ponders her thoughts, the water rippling from her skipping stone.

They were in love and had the happiest time together.
They enjoyed every season, especially the sweater weather.

But they say all good things have to come to an end.
And they did, it was something she couldn't comprehend.
She didn't want to lose him; he had been a godsend.

She took a deep breath in and stepped away from the water,
blinking away the tears and the emotions they brought her.

Heading down a path she knew all too well,
she hesitated and wondered if she should just go home but it was too early to tell.

Soon the path opened up to a cemetery;
where the love of her life was buried.

She collapsed to her knees when she found his grave.
Holding herself tight, she had promised she would be brave.

But how was she supposed to carry the emotional guilt of both of them?
She had been everything to him; his shining gem.

She can't help but feel like she wasn't enough.
These last few months have been rough.
She had tried her very best.
She hopes he's found eternal rest.

He was watching her from up above,
whispering, "it wasn't your fault, love."

He reached his hand out with an aching heart and caressed her tear-stained cheek.
She had been the only one who ever made him weak.

She couldn't feel his hand, but she knew his presence was there.
He loved her more than she was aware.
All because of that one stare, the moving of chairs,
the drink they shared; no love could ever compare.

She wiped her tears with one hand and patted his headstone with the other.
"There will never be another.
A part of me died with you that night, I had never been instilled with more fright.
I tried to save you with all my might.
But I was too late, it was a sealed fate.
I wish there was somebody to blame, someone to hate.
Everything happens for a reason they say,
this has left me so confused; things shouldn't have ended this way.
I still have so much to say.
God, I wish you were here, and I'd do anything to make you stay.
Unfortunately, there were consequences and you had to pay.
Life will never be the same and time can move on but I won't.
I don't know if I'll ever be okay again, I don't."

After an exhausting explosion of words and emotions, she's drained.
Her eyes overflowed with tears like a pool after it rained.

She heads home and immediately lies in bed,
pressing her face into the pillow his head had been on many nights ago.
He watched as she struggled to fall asleep, kissing her head, and whispering,

"I know..I'm sorry you have to go through this alone."