The "Real" Me

The "Real" Me

The damage was inflicted so very early,.
before I have a chance to form the "real" me.
Behaviors were set, giving me no room to breathe.
Silence was my only choice with no discovery of self.

Childhood was spent in not getting noticed.
Would the real "me" have enjoyed sleepovers, proms, first kisses?

I never connected to family or friends, my wall in place.
Would the "real" me have enjoyed picnics, cook-outs, family gatherings?

I never knew I could have a happy secure future.
Would the real "me" have gone to college, learning to depend on herself instead of other broken people.

I didn't know what a successful parent looked like, other than food and shelter.
Would the "real" me have taught my kids to be strong, confident, moving forward?

I never knew the feelings of joy or peace within.
Would the "real" me have connected spiritually to community and church?

My job employment depended on my self-worth, no reaching for the sky.
Would the "real" me have used her intelligence to progress?

I spent most of my life, moving blindly, repairing mistakes.
Would the "real" me been able to skip all that and run?

I, really, will never know answers about the imaginary "real" me.

Now I am loving, and caring and sensitive and creative and just darn smart.
I can live with the real person I am now.

LC 36