New Idea - W/C 300

Marcie came up to the casket. She looked inside, did a double take.

“Shhh. Don’t tell them you saw me breathe,” I whispered.

Her face turned bright red as her fake fingernails. ‘But how?” she mouthed.

“I’ll tell you later,” I again whispered then closed my eyes.

Another wave of mourners passed me by. They glanced my way but hurried to their seats in the funeral parlor as soon the service would begin.

“Dearly beloved, today we mourn the passing of Gregory Baldwin. Those who knew this man. Um. Is there anyone here who actually knew him?” The funeral director waited. No one responded.

“Alright, then, we’ll mourn his passing. I’m sure he had a mother. And I’m sure if his mother knew he’s gone, she’d be sad. Bless you all for coming.” He walked away and into his office.

The funeral attendees filed out. Except for Marcie. She wandered over to me.

“Meet me round back in half an hour.” I instructed her.

She nodded, grabbed a few tissues from a box, held them to her face to stifle a giggle.



“How in the world did you pull that off?”

“My funeral’s announced in the papers. Then I told the mortician I’d pay him cash if he’d let me rent a casket for an hour or so, plus get him to have my going-away party. Well, he took the deal. Everyone loves cash. And all my enemies wanted to see me dead.

“So, bad guy gots his funeral. The mortician scores some dough, plus can sell the casket twice. Unbelievable.” She shook her head.

“I know! A win-win situation.”

“You’re a piece of work, GB.”

We stood a few moments in the alley with our smokes.

“Marcie, I’ve got a great idea!”

“What now?”

“Rent-a-casket - we’ll make a fortune!”

W/C 300