Dreamer

Me : Dreams can have almost every meaning to them if you analyse them as you want. Therapists will make diagnostic of abandonment or trust issues to a patient with recurring dreams of being left behind, alone. But what if, instead of taking every dream separately you could make a story out of them, your story. Well that's what I'm hoping to unveil, what is the story behind my dreams, why are they more frequent now then before and mostly, is it a reality somewhere or an escape of my own?

T : Okay, that's quite the start. I'm not sure where I should begin but let's start with a little introduction maybe?

Me : Oh of course, sorry. It's my first time in therapy and I'm kinda nervous. And when I'm anxious I speak a lot, telling private stories with humour is my way to go through anxiety. And as I'm saying that I realise I'm doing it again, let me start over. So, my name is L.R, I'm 21 years old, still living at home with my parents and sisters. I'm studying life sciences at the local university, EPFL, finishing my third year right now. I'm more of a happy person but I realised happiness comes from myself so I've been enjoying my own company for a while now. I'm not saying I love being alone but I enjoy my friends company until a certain point.

T : Okay that's interesting, so you're here because of your dreams? Can you tell me more about this?

Me : Yeah well it started as small dreams with no sense and no link other than the fact that they wouldn't disappear.

T : Disappear? You mean forget right? So you've been having dreams that doesn't fade after you wake up?

Me : Exactly, that's what's been happening but at first my dreams were short and independent. But for the past month the dreams are longer, with common theme and they literally never fade. It's starting to scare me to be honest.

T : Why? Are they nightmares?

Me : Well they aren't all sunshine and candy but it's not what scares me. I've actually took that rendezvous after my biggest scare.

T : Would you mind exploring that a bit before talking about your dreams in detail and how to work on them? Because you're turning around the pot with what scares you. Are you still scared? Scared to tell me? I won't judge.

Me : No, not at all. It's just a bit hard to put word on this feeling. Last time, I woke up and I just fell to the ground. Not because I moved during my sleep or else no, I literally forgot I was in a bed with height. In my dream we were sleeping on the ground and as I woke up my brain was certain to still be on the ground, in the cave, with... wait I'm loosing the subject again, but I think that's that. I'm scared I'll be stuck thinking my dreams are the reality.

T : Okay that was good, putting words on what is bothering you can be a great thing.

Me : Yeah you're right.

T : Okay, so now let's go back to what you felt when you woke up. You're saying that you felt stuck in your dream, how so? Did you wake up knowing you were home in reality but just felt like you were physically in your dream or did you forget about your home and placed the cave from your dream as your reality? I would like you to precise this if you can and if you understood me.

Me : Yes, I can explain. It was my reality, I had no other home than this cave so when I woke up I walked in a house, my house, I discovered what I already knew was there but I had forgotten. I had to pee so I walked out of my room and automatically turned right like I knew where to go, even tho I didn't. It was a strange mixed feeling. An unknown familiarity if you know what I mean.

T : Well I'm not entirely sure I do but maybe an example would be better. How do you feel about telling me one of your dreams? Maybe the first one.

Me : I can try but which one do you want? The first I dreamt of or the one I place first in the timeline?

T : I think both are good, although I don't suspect that you're having some sort of personal dissociation, the feeling of not belonging here could get worse if you put a timeline of your dreams. If you feel like it can get worse start with the first on you had but if you're sure of your timeline and that it won't worsen your mind you can start at the beginning of what we can call the story of your dreams.

Me : Okay then here we go I guess, the start of my dreams :