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 This is a continuation of my blogging here at WdC |
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This will be a blog for my writing, maybe with (too much) personal thrown in. I am hoping it will be a little more interactive, with me answering questions, helping out and whatnot. If it falls this year (2024), then I may stop the whole blogging thing, but that's all a "wait and see" scenario. An index of topics can be found here: "Writing Blog No.2 Index"  Feel free to comment and interact. |
| Types Of Conflict This is based on some work by K.W. Weiland Conflict is what makes stories work. Without some form of conflict, stories would just be a series of events that happen and everyone lives happily ever after. Rather boring, really. However, conflict is not just two people arguing or going after the same goal. The way people approach conflict is different. Conor McGregor does not think but just hits or throws things; Pope John Paul II always looked for the compromise in any situation. Very different ways of managing conflict. Our characters should reflect these differences as well. As such, Weiland describes 5 main types of conflict when it comes to people. 1. The Competing Style This is the character who just wants what they want and will do whatever it takes to get it. They have high assertiveness and low co-operation â itâs their way or the highway. They value victory over everything else, including their relationships. While this may seem like a stereotypical villain, they are also very effective leaders. They tend to look big picture and ignore minutiae. Selfish and yet efficient. They see things in terms of winning and losing. They tend towards aggression as a first course of action. example: Captain Ahab in Moby Dick (Herman Melville), whose single-mindedness to get the titular whale makes him convince most of the crew to ignore the boatâs actual job, even if it kills crew members. 2. The Collaborating Style This is when a character tries to work with who they are up against, looking for a win-win situation. These people have high assertiveness and high co-operation â they want to find a solution that works for everyone. They want to win, but donât want others to be seen as losers. They do make good leaders, but are ruled by the heart rather than the head. They can also create a situation where everyone loses. example: Kerrick in West Of Eden who tries to get the worlds of humans and YilanĂ© together without either side losing face, even in the face of opposition. 3. The Compromising Style This is the character who wants everyone to meet in the middle, each side giving a little and taking a little at the same time. They are equal assertive an co-operative, sitting right in the middle of everything. While they seem to come to a solution, everyone is left a little unhappy at the result. They are often depicted as chasing ideals that will never be reached. However, they do see all sides of situations. They realise not everyone can win without losing a little, and so do not make efficient leaders. example: Dax and Starling in Back Of The Farm (Lilliana Rose), Dax was in love with a married woman, Starling was in love with Daxâs brother, they found one another, the friendship grew, and their getting together was a compromise, and they lived Happy For Now, despite Starling still being in love with Daxâs brother and Dax never extinguishing his flame for the married woman. To be honest, I found it rather sad. 4. The Accommodating Style This character just wants everything to be peaceful. They are low in assertiveness but high in co-operation. They will sacrifice themselves or their own desires if it means there will be peace between people. They do tend to be more empathetic and understanding of others, and make very poor leaders. Those who are assertive will walk all over these people. Because of this, they rarely get what they want and so are often unfulfilled, and this can lead to inner conflict for them. These characters, by the way, do not drive the plot forward. example: I struggled here, but maybe Gatsby in The Great Gatsby (F.Scott Fitzgerald) who seems to give and help, and yet cannot get Daisy and dies in the end without her. 5. The Avoiding Style This is the person who does not face any conflict at all and runs away or avoids it completely. They have low assertiveness and low co-operation. This is not the person who completely acquiesces, but the one who runs away. There is not conflict in their world because they manage to avoid it. They are often written as passive-aggressive, though. They also tend to be loners and have trouble even engaging with other characters. example: At the very start of Homerâs Iliad, this was Achilles. He disguised himself as a woman named Pyrrha to avoid fighting (mainly because he knew he was fated to die at Troy) and stayed that way until Odysseus found him. Mixing Conflict Styles Most characters will be one of these, but many will have a secondary conflict style that comes to the fore especially when they are backed into a corner. This should not come out of nowhere, but there should be hints that it is in them before, like the Lion in The Wizard Of Oz they go and eat a bunch of bad guys. This secondary style is often more immature (e.g. an avoidance secondary might be crying). Characters may have to learn as part of character growth how to temper their normal conflict style. Characters may have to deal with people of a dramatically different conflict style, which can cause some interesting dynamics. Groups can consist of people with differing conflict styles which can make for even more interesting dynamics. Lord of the Rings does this well. To quote Weiland: âThe five conflict management stylesâCompeting, Collaborating, Compromising, Accommodating, and Avoidingâoffer writers a structured way to design believable interpersonal conflict. Each style is defined by how characters balance assertiveness (pursuing their own goals) and cooperativeness (considering othersâ goals). Assigning conflict styles to characters adds depth, realism, and tension to your scenes and relationships. Going further, to mix different styles in your cast can then naturally generate friction and plot momentum. You can even shift a characterâs style over time to create satisfying character arcs.â I hope that helps! |
| Novel #19 To Be King led, later on that year, to another Egyptian-themed novel. Sobek clocks in at almost 79000 words. It tells the story of Sobek, Egyptian crocodile-headed god, who comes to modern-day Australia in order to claim his son, stolen by a young archaeologist. Simple, really. We start in ancient Egypt, where we see a pharaoh crowned who was a priest of Sobek, from his rise to his fall at the hands of Sobek. Fast forward a few thousand years, and a young Australian student finds himself on an archaeological dig in Egypt, where he uncovers â and steals â a small mummy. Back in Adelaide, Sobek comes to claim the mummy. Between Adelaide and a temple built in suburban Melbourne, in the end Horus tries to fight Sobek, to take him away from the world of men, but to no avail, as Sobek, ultimately, triumphs. That sounds pretty bad, but this is one of the few long stories I still enjoy. I think I got into the heads of most of the main characters well, and made them different enough from one another, and I like to think the situation I put forward is a unique one. It is written in a very pulp fiction style, and I think my style is starting to show through more and more by now. While the ellipsis is probably too prominent, it has been curtailed somewhat. This one was only submitted twice. One rejected it with the standard âdoes not meet our present requirementsâ form letter. The other rejected it with, âSorry, youâre too late, no-one cares about ancient Egypt any more. Write a vampire or werewolf story and get back to us.â (Iâm paraphrasing.) Oh well, like a couple of others I still hope Sobek can find a home some day. Excerpt: [4] Inside The Temple Luck. That was all he could put it down to. For once, good luck had befallen him, and for once he was able to take full advantage of it. Two weeks before he had been just another university student doing his post-graduate Masters degree in biology, studying crocodiles with Professor Samuel Harmer, one of the worldâs foremost herpetology experts, in the swamps of Australiaâs Kakadu National Park. And now he was here⊠He could scarcely believe it. He had been in the right place at the right time, helping the professor complete a survey on numbers of young in the enormous national park. Just another in a group of five post-grad students doing exactly as they were told. That was all. And then the phone call had come to the professor as they sat around the campfire. And he had simply asked them all if any had an up-to-date passport and could travel within the week. Only Grant Cooper put his hand up, having accompanied his father on a business trip two years before to Hong Kong. And so now he was here. The professor had needed an assistant for something he considered truly amazing, and so he had left one of his two PhD students (neither of whom had a passport either) in charge of the survey, had travelled back to Adelaide with Grant, made all the arrangements, and they had then flown to Egypt. Three days in Cairo, then a hellish ride to a place called the Fayyum where they had been holed up in what was termed a luxury caravan while the paperwork and official forms were filled in, and permission was finally being worked out. But today was the day. A stern looking official from the government department in charge of such things was talking with the esteemed academic at the moment. And Samuel Harmer was conversing in Egyptian (at least, that was the language Grant assumed they were using) very fluently, and the look on the face of the man in the dull grey suit seemed impressed. And then a smile broke over the bearded face and he extended a hand which the professor shook eagerly before a pile of documents was handed over. And the middle-aged Australian academic walked across to the student. âAll ready?â he asked. âFor what?â the young man responded. âYou havenât told me what weâre doing here yet.â âHavenât I?â âYou said we were going to look at crocs. Thatâs it!â Exasperation was growing within him. The professor laughed. âNo. No, I havenât really, have I?â he chortled. âWell, I have been asked to come here to investigate the possibility of the discovery of a new breed, or sub-species, of the Nile crocodile. And you are to be my assistant.â âA new species?â Grant whispered in awe. A nod was all he received in reply. âBut⊠but if they asked you to come here, why the delay? Why not just let you get on with it?â âYou have to understand the way places like Egypt work,â he explained not unkindly. âItâs not like Australia. Government departments rarely talk with other government departments, and the Department of Antiquities rules over everyone else. And where we are going is under their jurisdiction. It has been them who have delayed. It is only the University which has ensured we are even allowed on the site. But we are now going to see for ourselves if these claims are true. Are you ready?â So that is the opening of the first section in modern times. A lot of the research I did for To Be King (even though it wasnât used in that particular story) helped out here, especially with the belief system. I did a lot of research for this story in particular in how Sobek was worshipped. This was actually tougher than it seemed because a lot of people used the Greek version of the stories (where he was called Suchos) to describe things. I ended up going to a book from the 1970s, which gave me the sites of Sobeckian temples and centres of worship, and where Sobek fitted into the pharaonic pantheon. I think all that research helped. And I think the story works. |
| Public Domain There has been a bit of talk in the past few years about public domain and what that means. Looking at some of the books and anthology calls coming out, this is becoming something that is increasingly on the rise in pop culture. Not just in books, either â films are taking it on with gusto. This is a little bit more expansive and with clarifications after an earlier post on the same subject confused people. What is it? Public domain means the copyright for a work, a character, or a created entity has expired, and the character is free for literally anyone to use in whatever way they like. Things enter the public domain every year; it all depends on a few factors, and which country the work originated in, or where the copyright originated. If it is across borders, then a work might be in public domain in one country, and not another. The two countries I know of have these rules: USA â if a work was first published in any year up to and including 1928, it is in the public domain; every year from and including 1929, the copyright lasts for the life of the author plus 70 years. Australia â copyright expires 70 years after the death of the author unless the authorâs heirs take legal steps to prevent it. Written music or musical scores enters public domain 95 years after being written. Films enter the public domain 95 years after initial release. Recorded music enters the public domain 70 years after a recording was released (not recorded). What does this mean? This means you can use these characters in stories as you want! Woo-hoo! Thatâs how we got the films Winnie The Pooh: Blood And Honey and The Mouse Trap. But you can only use depictions as seen or created in the works that have entered public domain. So you can write a Snow White story (fairy tales are all in the public domain) but cannot name the seven dwarves Doc, Bashful, Dopey, Sneezy, Grumpy, Sleepy and Happy. These are Disney creations and because Disney have just released a live action version of the film before it entered public domain, copyright is renewed for them. You can have the Winnie the Pooh characters as they appear in the AA Milne books, but not based on the way they are depicted in the Disney movie and TV series. Itâs a fine line, but one you must not cross. So anything involving the public domain characters is otherwise up to you. Make them serial killers, erotic denizens of suburbia, spacemen, whatever. But the characters must be based on that depiction which has entered public domain and no further/ later iterations of the characters. What is in the public domain? So much! For a start, all mythological characters, all fairy tales, all folkloric characters are in the public domain. Again, not modern interpretations (e.g. Clash Of The Titans), but the original stories. Classics like Sherlock Holmes, Victor Frankenstein and his monster (not as depicted in the Universal or Hammer films⊠yet), Dracula, Dorian Gray, Jekyll & Hyde, the Phantom of the Opera, Tarzan, Zorro, Robin Hood (not as depicted by any film, however), Quasimodo, Ebeneezer Scrooge⊠so many! Itâs how films/ graphic novels like The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen can be made. There are heaps of lists online of public domain characters â including superheroes â that are free to use. On a personal note, I wrote a short story for an anthology called Pulpsploitation (Metahuman Press) where we had to take a public domain character and write a pulp-styled story about them. I chose Tabu (details here ), and transferred him to modern times and even used his arch-nemesis (though ignored the magic powers iteration). I chose him because I had an old comic reprint with him in it. So public domain can be so much fun to use, and you are not restricted with sales, like fan fiction!And I hope that explains public domain! |
| Writing Advice From George R.R. Martin More writing advice! And what makes it even better is that the first two mirror the advice I give! (Reminder: "20230113 Writing Advice" )So, this comes from George R.R. Martin, famous author-type person. I was going through an old hard drive and found a 2014 doc file with a list of links on it. 90% are dead (well, duh!), but this one was still alive! From August 2014 (so more than a decade ago), this is advice that I think applies to many writers. I want to bring up special note of the third bit of advice, as this very thing is something I see way too often on WdC. In fact, number 1 still creates issues with so-called writers. Sorry. Letâs let Mr Martin give the talk! 3 Writing Tips from George R.R. Martin 1. Read The most important thing for any aspiring writer, I think, is to read! And not just the sort of thing youâre trying to write, be that fantasy, SF, comic books, whatever. You need to read everything. Read fiction, non-fiction, magazines, newspapers. Read history, historical fiction, biography. Read mystery novels, fantasy, SF, horror, mainstream, literary classics, erotica, adventure, satire. Every writer has something to teach you, for good or ill. (And yes, you can learn from bad books as well as good ones â what not to do). 2. Write Write every day, even if it is only a page or two. The more you write, the better youâll get. But donât write in my universe, or Tolkienâs, or the Marvel universe, or the Star Trek universe, or any other borrowed background. Every writer needs to learn to create his own characters, worlds, and settings. Using someone elseâs world is the lazy way out. If you donât exercise those âliterary muscles,â youâll never develop them. 3. Begin with Short Stories Given the realities of todayâs market in science fiction and fantasy, I would also suggest that any aspiring writer begin with short stories. These days, I meet far too many young writers who try to start off with a novel right off, or a trilogy, or even a nine-book series. Thatâs like starting in at rock climbing by tackling Mt. Everest. Short stories help you learn your craft. They are a good place for you to make the mistakes that every beginning writer is going to make. And they are still the best way for a young writer to break in, since the magazines are always hungry for short SF and fantasy stories. Once youâve been selling short stories for five years or so, youâll have built up a name for yourself, and editors will start asking you about that first novel. Whatever you do, though⊠good luck. Youâll need it. So, not only does he tell people to start small (the Mt Everest analogy is perfect!), but has a go at those who only write in the fan-fiction sphere (my thoughts can be found: "20240301 An Academic Essay On Fan Fiction" ; "20240302 Some Fan Fiction Negatives" ; "20240303 Writing Fan Fiction" ).His five years of short story sales before that first novel? Well, I had around 8 years of writing shorts before attempting my first genuine novel. I had 10 years of short story sales before my first novel was accepted by a publisher. So⊠yeah, seems about right to me! However, magazines are dying (especially with new owners taking over established titles just for the old library) so I would change magazines to anthologies which are definitely out there and asking for submissions all the time! However, his advice mirrors that of Stephen King, Lionel Fanthorpe and many other authors with huge sales. Reading and writing are vital for any person who wants to be a writer. Disagree if you wish, but then there are plenty of gatekeepers like me who wonât take you or your work seriously. Donât know what to read? May I recommend starting here, at WdC, and give reviews? To review, you have to read, after all⊠|
| 10 Mistakes Made By Fantasy Writers I've decided to post an article I wrote. I think the term "mistake" is too strong now, and instead probably should have used "Things Overlooked By Fantasy Writers." And in a completely surreal world, a lot of this probably does not matter. But in a fantasy world with some semblance of reality, maybe these are things to be considered. Some I have mentioned before, but I thought a look back at a list from half a decade ago is something interesting. First published online at https://horrortree.com/10-mistakes-made-by-fantasy-writers/ December 23, 2019, Updated June 19, 2020, Revised just a little for this blog The Article I read a lot. A real lot. I also write a lot. A real lot. This is because, even before I read On Writing, I tended to live by the dictum that a writer needs to read a lot. Quiet aside: I know some writers poo-poo this idea. But I have never met a real writer who has not read, and not a good one who has read a lot. A writer who doesnât read is like a musician who doesnât listen to music. It makes zero sense. Sorry. Iâd say that is the end of an old man rant, but this is that sort of a column, Iâm afraid. Prepare for further rantage! Anyway, my preferred genres are horror, fantasy, science fiction and humour, to read and write (but I donât limit myself). Well, fantasy is incredibly popular nowadays, and I have read so much fantasy I sometimes wake up wondering where my pet dragon is and why my armour looks strangely like a dressing gown. And what this means is that I have come across some things that just do not make sense. Iâd like to point out that this covers every level of publication, from self-published writers who donât believe in spelling or punctuation to stories produced by the big four publishing houses. These mistakes seem to be there all the time. 1) Information Overload Yeah, Iâve mentioned this before. The writer has spent weeks, maybe months, creating this world of theirs in which to set their fantasy story, doing countless hours of research and developing what they consider a fully functioning society. It is a masterwork all its own. And â daggnabbit! â they are going to tell the reader every single aspect they have developed, no matter how irrelevant to the story it is, to prove theyâve world built. The reader does not need it; save it for the sequel. Or just be happy in the knowledge youâve done the hard yards. But maybe leave it at that, hmm? 2) Food Production Itâs a world. Itâs populated, normally by creatures that might as well be called humans. They need to get energy. They need to eat. Now take a look at a map of our world before World War I and see how much of the land was given over to farming â agriculture and stock. Add into that the fishing industries and you can see how vital the food industries are to non-technological worlds. And yet so often in fantasy stories there are either no farms or they are tiny, food production and movement does not seem to come into things and you wonder why the rich minstrels donât release their own âFeed The Worldâ charity song. Or else they are hunter-gatherers. And how long would an over-populated world last as they hunt everything into extinction and decimate all vegetation for a 1000-mile radius? 3) Clothing And Armour I have a friend who is also a writer, but her university degree was Medieval society. She did her thesis on clothing of the Medieval era. That seems to be the sort of time stories reflect. Guess what? The general, run-of-the-mill bonded populace did not wear pants. They wore smocks made of cheap linen. Rich people might have worn pants, maybe. Getting clothes made was apparently quite expensive; to cut a hole in a piece of linen was easy. And form-hugging spandex like Robin Hood or Conan the Barbarian â forget it. And armour was really expensive! It took months to make a suit of chain mail. Leather armour or padded armour were the cheap options, but even they cost a lot. Did you know that leather workers had to supply their own urine, relieving themselves on the skins they were preparing? Sorry. Just another clothing aside. And armour was generally made for the owner; putting some-one elseâs on was just really challenging. Thereâs a reason the Vikings wore bear-skin cloaks â it was all they had! 4) Money v Bartering I blame Dungeons And Dragons for this, with their copper, silver, gold, etc. coins. That was for ease of game play. But in real life, bartering was the most common means of paying for goods or services. Sure, rich people might have coins â in general, they had serfs do everything for them anyway â but the general populace would struggle. Bartering was far more common amongst the people, but you just do not read about it. And that brings us to⊠5) Rich v Poor In most fantasy worlds, it seems like nothing for the poor born child to go off and seek adventure and fortune and become wonderful and great. But the poor were generally bonded into servitude. The owner of the land would not be overly pleased to find a person capable of working had just hopped it. In fact, I would guess he would be rather miffed and might take it out on said adventurerâs family. A lot. Oh, and the poor could not read. There was no reason to. And that little nerd who sat down hidden under his fur bedclothes reading some long-forgotten tome: No way. Not even the village âwise-menâ could read most of the time. It was all oral tradition stuff. And donât get me started on schools⊠6) Magic Limitations You have a fantasy world. There is magic in this world. How powerful is it? Why can it kill an enemy on page four but not even disable the bad guyâs henchmen on page 172? (I hope the author in question reads this⊠sheâll knowâŠ) The world of Harry Potter does this. There are inconsistencies in the potency of the magic. This is something Dungeons And Dragons (the old versions, anyway) does well â the limitations are spelt out quite clearly. Maybe writers should do their own Tome of Spells? And then Harry Potter himself can ride a broomstick and summon a griffon, but canât fix his poor eyesight? And that leads to⊠7) Overuse Of Magic Your world has magic. Awesome! Itâs everywhere! Awe⊠shit. This does two things. First, it takes away the mystique of magic. Second, it makes magic no more than their pseudo-science. If everyone has access to magic, then magic is just another part of the world and it does mean everyone should have access to it. And learn it. And study it. But, as I said in Rich v Poor above, the poor donât have access to reading or learning. Unless the world is a lot like ours. And that has only come about because of democracies becoming powerful. In any other form of government, the powerful and those in charge would not allow the poor to have learning. And they especially would not like magic to be so readily available. Itâs a matter of keeping power. 8) Religion Religion was actually the central focus of a lot of pre-Industrial society. Even kings and other rulers bowed to the whims of their deities. (Some exceptions, of course, but even Genghis Khan worshipped his father.) And yet in fantasy, religion is too often given short shrift. There should be feast days and temple days and, for the poor at least, compulsory worship days. I have read some books where they claim their worlds are atheistic, but it does not make sense in societal development. Even in our world, the rules that became adapted into the Old Testament were created by a Babylonian god-king. Now, look, I am an atheist, but even my fantasy world is based on a strong religious base. Itâs just there, okay? 9) Distances Travelled Your hero has set out on foot. He has to get to the Castle of Neâyagh within the week. Virtually unencumbered, the terrain is nice and even, and assuming he has had some training, he could walk, maybe 25 miles a day, and keep this up for eight days. Thatâs 200 miles. Where I live, if you left from the capital, that wonât even get you out of the state! Okay, give them a horse. Carrying a person, a fit horse could go as far as 50-odd miles a day, with a rest day every so often. Now, horses are worth a lot and so you wouldnât want to ride one to death; just stealing one is going to get you executed. So, in 8 days (with one day of rest) thatâs 350 miles. Youâve just left my state. Going four hundred leagues on a non-magical horse in a week is⊠stupid. Impossible! I mean impossible. 10) Sequels Writers, you do know that itâs okay to write a stand-alone book, donât you? And not book one in a trilogy, that is the first in a trilogy of trilogies? I blame Wheel Of Time and Game Of Thrones for this. Even Harry Potter was seven books long! Standalone books are quite okay! Really! So, some pet peeves from reading way too much fantasy and getting way too frustrated by make-believe things created by other people. |
| Novel #18 We come now to a book I am still quite happy with. It was re-written a lot after my beta reader got through with it, and the end result is better than it was before, and I liked it before. To Be King took me over a year to write, on and off, and was finished in January of 2008, clocking in at around 83600 words. Like Of Lizards And Men, this one took a lot of research, and I have to say, delving into the worlds of Australian Aboriginal language, megafauna extinction patterns, ancient Egypt and Australian geography was really interesting. In fact, the research into Egypt I did for this led directly to the next novel, Sobek (which was started before this was finished). To Be King was my first serious attempt at an alternative history novel. What would have happened had the ancient Egyptians fled Egypt with the coming of the Hittites, and then found themselves in Australia? Well, over the course of thousands of years, theyâve-established themselves much as they had back home. Their gods have adapted to the new world in which they find themselves, but some old habits die hard. The year is 1770, and the old pharaoh is not long dead. However, his son and heir is disposed of, so his brother the high priest takes the role. However, the army is not happy about this, and so, when the young king-to-be is found alive, they rally around him and march on the capital. Meanwhile, a huge group of the slaves of the empire â the indigenous inhabitants, the Australian Aborigines â are slowly gathered together, and they too decide to march on the capital. And so it comes with three sides battling one another as the first serious arrival of white man coincides with everything. As I said, I was really happy with this one. In 2010, a friend beta-read it and she helped me revamp it, so it was sent out to a few publishers and one agent who actually requested this sort of alternate history novel. The feedback from the agent and two of the publishers was encouraging. One of the publishers wanted to see the whole manuscript, and so it was duly sent off, but then I got a form rejection. The full m/s was requested from another publisher in 2022, but that was it from them. Oh well. I still think this one has a home somewhere. Excerpt: Word quickly reached Karna that the forces loyal to Septuâra were almost completely gathered together in the vicinity of the Heliopolis. Not just to the ears of the pharaoh, but through the rumours of the general populace. An easily defended section of the city had been chosen, large enough to house the citizens and refugees with relative ease, if not comfort, and around this walls had been raised to a great height of almost two men. Most of the surrounding towns and villages were deserted as people came to the capital to defend it and themselves. Some talk was of the forces of Septuâra being a freedom force, of them coming to liberate the land from the evils of Ka-Apium. But most did not understand what was going on. The change of pharaoh had meant nothing for them; they still worked, fed their families, worshipped their gods, led their lives as they should. The supreme God-king had a different name, had promised to raise taxes although he was yet to do so, but life never really changed. This talk of rebellion and fighting and war only upset their peaceful existences; they did not care who ruled so long as they were ignored and allowed to go about their lives undisturbed. But the people knew nothing really of what was to come. Information was in short supply; all they were told was to prepare to defend the city and the pharaoh, and by extension, the nation itself. But all that was about to change, and fear would start to overcome them, making sure their defence was not merely perfunctory, but heart-felt and absolute⊠âSeptuâra has gathered the majority of his forces and they now train in his ways.â The message that came to them was definite. It seemed as though thousands had joined the rebel commander and now he was preparing them for war. And that much information would be allowed to filter into the ears of the people, to ensure they knew it was happening now. But Ka-Apium had one more thing to do⊠âIs Captain Hor-Anju ready?â he asked one of his generals as they strode along the beach, away from the ears of the palaces. âAye, my Lord,â the soldier responded. âSend your most trusted messenger to him. âTis time.â âIt shall be done.â And the general almost sprinted away to fulfil his task as the pharaoh stopped to look out over the sea. Several enormous vessels were anchored at the end of a huge stone quay, surrounded by countless fishing craft, all put to anchor for the night. In the distance fires had been ignited on the three guardian islands, each with a naval vessel tethered to it. Between the boats, darting in and out of and under them, in front of him two kut-akana were frolicking in the waves. That was always a good omen. He had no doubts. He had done everything to get where he was, and what he had just ordered be done was simply another means to an end â and that end was to ensure he would remain pharaoh for many years to come. That was all that mattered to him. He had to be the ruler of this land. Now, there are a few words here that wonât mean a lot to readers, but the book itself has a glossary explaining them. All are indigenous words for the various animals. This is the one area where I think I might have let myself down. I chose these words at random instead of from one particular language (Australia has over 200 different language groups). Then again, that could be how these invaders did things. I also used a few Egyptian words; I have since studied the ancient Egyptian language more thoroughly and I would have definitely chosen different words as some came from the later Dynastic eras, and not the pre-Hittite ones. That might seem pedantic, but alternate history readers are extremely pedantic! So, thatâs a book I still quite like and still try to sell off. |
| Bodily Functions In Writing This came up on Discord in June, and I thought it would make for an interesting topic here. When do we mention bodily functions in our writing? Now, bodily functions are common. Of course they are. And we are not just talking urination and bowel movements here; we are also talking about eating and drinking, bathing and showering, sneezing and coughing, even farting and spitting. These are the things that everyone does all the time, and yet they get short shrift in the world of character-driven art. Okay, sure, sweating is often mentioned, and characters will drink on occasion, sometimes even have a meal, but apart from when it is needed to make a person desperate, hunger and thirst are rarely mentioned. So, should we talk about the wide variety of bodily functions? This is a question that will get you a lot of different responses. Some think that it is adding too much minutiae to a work, slowing it down, bogging the narrative in what are essentially irrelevant details. Others think it makes works more realistic, and so feel the inclusion is important. And then there are those who sit somewhere between these two extremes. As such, I went out of my way and sent emails to the three publishers who I am a regular contributor to, and a bunch of authors. They all said almost exactly the same thing: mention them, but donât discuss them unless it is needed for the story. What this means is say that John went to the toilet, but donât describe his bowel evacuation unless what he excretes is vital to the make the meaning of the story clear, or is going to come back later in some way. Likewise, say Jim and Sue had lunch, donât describe their meal and how they ate unless it is important, or their discussion over the meal is going to be important (in which case, the use of food and eating can be a very good âshowâ way of indicating emotions). Going even further, a sneeze or cough can indicate an allergy or a sickness that can come into play later, but mentioning them in passing might not add a single thing except the way others interact; what that means is if a character sneezes and another says, âBless you,â then the relationship is probably a positive one, but if they say, âJesus, really?â then the relationship is negative, and done through this âshowâ technique. One other thing â if a person does not shower and does stuff to sweat, how putrid must they smell? Would other characters mention it? Surely theyâd notice. What if all of them didnât shower? Now that smell would give their position away, surely. Hiding would become harder. These are the little things that body functions lead to. Some feel that you should only mention them if they are important and not even in passing, but others feel this makes the characters feel unreal, and can take a reader out of a story. Here are two examples given to me. In a book one publisher rejected, a man rode a horse across a desert during the heat of the day, arriving at a farmhouse at evening. He left the horse at a trough to drink and took a second horse without stopping himself and then travelled all night. It was distinctly mentioned he did not take a drink between horses. The first horse probably would not have made it all day without water, he went on, and the man definitely would not survive all day and then all night with no sleep if there was no water or food, no matter how urgent his business. It should at least be mentioned he filled a waterskin, had a waterksin, or something; as it was, it did not work for his readers. In a short story, a writer told me he read back over it later and discovered a man had been drinking alcohol all afternoon, not moving from his stool once, explicitly stated, and then drove home in a drunken state where he was then forced to fight a home intruder. He had written this, it had been printed in an anthology, and the lack of toileting made it feel too unreal. In both of these cases, just a mention would have helped (apparently the horse-based book was not that great and wouldnât have been accepted anyway). So, while we donât generally need to focus on the details, the intricacies, if you will, mentioning that these things happen can make readers feel like the characters are more realistic, even if they mean little to the story. It is not world-building, but it is character building. And characters make stories come alive. |
| Editing and Personal Judgement Of Our Own Works Beholden asked me what makes me judge some of my writing as âcrappy.â I think that is a very fair question, so I shall look at the piece this comment was made in relation to and dissect what I wrote. Excerpt: The dreams were some of the worst he had had since they had first discovered the body of Father Peake in the schoolâs chapel (âin the schoolâs chapelâ is not needed; that was mentioned earlier, so it is just padding). Fire and death and blood and pain. (this sentence fragment would work better as a separate paragraph for emphasis)That was all he could remember, but he still woke up with the sheets curled into a ball between his legs and his fist thrust so deep into his mouth that he had drawn blood with his teeth. He stared at the alarm clock beside the bed; the green numbers flashed at him (comma needed here) â12:00â over and over. He shook his head (why did he shake his head? Needs more emotional input)and fumbled for his watch. That also flashed with the â12:00â at him. He shook his head (not needed for a second time, especially without associated emotion). Power failure and watch battery broken? (Feels too emotionless, like this coincidence just happened and doesnât arouse even curiosity) He grunted to himself and pulled himself to his feet, dragging the sheets with him, as he made his way towards the kitchen where the battery operated wall clock â a gift from his mother when he had moved out of home â stood over the serving counter. The second hand was not moving. That and both the other hands were all pointing directly upwards. He felt a tingle run through the hairs of his spine and he shivered a little. (needs more physical response) âAh yes, time does indeed stand still,â came a voice from behind him. He turned quickly and immediately moved backwards until the small of his back painfully hit the counter. (needs more mental input) There was no-one there. (Still too subdued. Probably could also be a standalone paragraph) His eyes darted about his surroundings like a frightened a (this âaâ not needed) rabbit but he was quite definitely alone. But (âAnd yetâ works better here) he was not alone. He could feel (weak word; sense plus modifiers would work better) that some-one else was here, and that that voice had not been the product of an over-active imagination. âBut for you (comma needed here) time will not.â That voice was coming from his bedroom (was it coming from there before? Clarification needed as to whether that was the case or it had moved). âYou will live with your decisions forever.â He walked carefully forwards (another weak word; of course he was walking forwards!), each step feeling as though he was moving through molasses. He so wanted to turn and run, to flee this place, but he also wanted to know what was going on (need more emotional depth here). After his conversation with Brother Nicholas the previous day and what he had seen in Michaelâs house, he was not sure he knew what exactly was going on here⊠or even if he wanted to know. But he did want to know⊠Of course he did⊠(The ellipses are probably not necessary; in fact, this feels too muted emotionally) He paused at the door, slightly ajar (reads awkwardly, like itâs he who is slightly ajar), the last barrier between himself and whatever lay behind it. âMake the right decision. Our lives depend on it,â the voice said, now filled with emotion. (What emotion? This is tell, not show) He pushed open the door (more description needed to up the tension)and stared (emotionless). Laying (Should be âLyingâ) on the bed was a figure he recognised. Thinner, with less hair, a lined, drawn face and dull, lifeless eyes, but still recognisable. And (âAndâ not needed here)if he did not know better, he would have sworn he was staring at himself twenty years older⊠(But heâs already recognised the person, not a âif he didnât know betterâ situation; also, the ellipsis is not necessary) And now (âAnd nowâ feels clunky and almost tense-hopping) he screamed, and he screamed and he could not stop screamingâŠ(ellipsis not necessary) So, that is how I read it now with the eyes of someone more than thirty years further into a writing journey. As an editor, this is the bare minimum I would do to this passage (and I normally do it in Word using the ânotesâ function), and, remember, this is one of the better passages from this particular novel. So, I hope that explains where I am coming from when I say that something needs work and is crappy. I am not precious about my own work â I know I still have a long way to go to be a good writer. No matter how much I have had traditionally published, there is always room for improvement. |
| External Writerings July 2025 And, again, I am late to the party with this. But please remember that each click from a different IP with no ad-blocker earns me a tiny bit of money (and it all adds up) in my never-ending attempts to make writering my vocation, not my suffocation. New release albums from April to June, 2025 The best wrestling PPVs I watched in the first half of 2025 A list of some musicians we lost in the first half of 2025 that I did not write about separately. Songs about rhythm more than 40 years old Songs about rhythm that are more recent Songs that mention guinea pigs! Songs about primates (monkeys, etc) in all their myriad forms Remembering Ozzy Osbourne Remembering Hulk Hogan Remembering Tom Lehrer 10 columns this month! So many deaths and halfway through the year things, plus Schnujo passed! WHEW! suggesting things she didnât think I could do. Never let it be said I donât accept challenges. If there are any music columns (or books or films) you would like me to tackle, please leave a comment below! |
| Novel #17 Novel number 17 was a diversion for me. A serious one. But, first, a bunch of novellas were written in the interim. One â Second Home â clocked in at only 16000 words, but this was long enough for a younger reader book, which is good, because it was written with 11-13 year olds in mind. The reason I mention it is because it was rejected three times, but one of them was after 2 serious rewrites (the last of which I thought was awful). This came rather close to being a published book for that age group! Next was one called Treasure. At a little over 31000 words, I still really enjoy this tale. High fantasy in an urban setting. Its length is a huge problem, though, as there is nowhere I can sell it at the moment. It involves a group of other-worlders, and is written in a Mickey Spillaneâs Mike Hammer style, but the narrator/private eye is not human either. Now⊠news⊠This was accepted for publication in 2018 by Fantasia Divinity Press! Edits were done, and we were waiting for a cover⊠and then came the pandemic and the company, like so many others, went under. A sequel sits half-written on the computer as well, but it just comes across as too depressing at the moment. ACCEPTED! But⊠And finally was Lines Of Communication, at around 22000 words, which was rejected twice for stand-alone novella publishing, and I can see why with the value of hindsight. This is in my port: "Lines Of Communication" .So we reach Final Siren. Not a long novel â 42500 words â but one that was something very different. A murder mystery. No supernatural undertones or overtones, just someone investigating a crime and finding the killer. Simple. It was written because my then-wife read these stories and challenged me to writer her one. The death was based around a game of Australian Rules football, and a sequel was immediately drafted around a cricket match (called 6 And Out). But the people who have read it said it was a little clichĂ©d, and that the killer was obvious from about halfway through. Oh well, something outside my comfort zone, always worth a try. I still think I did an okay job of trying my hand at the murder mystery genre, though. And, just to see how it went, I sent it off to two new markets, looking for unpublished crime fiction. No responses = more rejections. Excerpt: CHAPTER 3 âBoss, thereâs a phone call for you.â Charles looked up from the notes supplied to him by a virtual army of police officers, taking statements from nearly everybody at the ground not sitting in the stands. âThanks,â he grunted and wandered over to the handset being offered to him. âDudley,â he barked. âWe think weâve tracked down Webb, sir,â came a disembodied voice from the other end, sounding like so many other voices he had spoken to over the years. âWhere is he?â âIt seems heâs got an apartment in Essendon, and heâsâŠâ âWell, spare me the details and go and get him,â the inspector said, drawing his words out as if speaking to a stupid child. âSergeant Kidmanâs on his way there now, sir.â âThank-you,â he said, relaxing a little. âLet me know when heâs been notified. If he wants to see me, bring him down here.â âSir.â And the call rang off. Finally, something going right. Finding the manâs manager and personal advisor and business partner had not been an easy task, and they were all quite frankly surprised the man had not been at the ground to help celebrate this magnificent footballing milestone. But, Charles reasoned, he knew so little about the victim and his life that surely things like this were going to crop up all the time⊠The writing is a little clunky, and I tried to have it so that the reader could work out who the killer was (which I think I did telegraph way too much), but there is nothing wrong with writing out of the wheelhouse in which you are normally comfortable. |
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