Alone

Sitting in a crowded room, yet I am alone,
Sifting through my memories, my mind begins to roam.
Sounds of music and peoples chatter fills the room around,
I might as well be deaf as I barely hear a sound.
How can you feel so alone as people smile and say hello?
My body is present in this place, but my thinking is lies below.
Looking someone in the eye, and answering their every question,
Feeling hollow inside, and guarding myself with deep intention.
What am I doing here is what races through my mind,
Looking for a connection to others I just cant seem to find!
Do I have a drink, will it calm my nerves, help me to interact?
Will the Alcohol numb my mind, will it be an aid to distract?
Do the drinks loosen me up, help me to have fun.
Will they take away the anxiousness and help me become numb?
So I have a drink and force a smile to friends gathered around,
I make jokes with them and laughter abounds.
But deep inside I still feel alone,
Looking for the place within me where I am really known.
I need to find this place within me, some kind of release,
For when I do, I will breathe deep and finally experience peace.