Nobody wanted to associate with them (Happy to win CRAMP!) |
It is a well known fact that kids in fourth grade are all about being "___er than you / yours." My Dad is stronger than yours, I'm cleverer than you, my brother's socks stink more than your brother's, my dog wags his tail faster than yours ... get the gist? Now once the fourth graders got the playroom really messed up, and the teacher (who should've known better) exclaimed, "Really, I don't know who the messiest person in this class is!" That did it. "I'm messier than you and I can prove it" became the catch phrase in the fourth grade. Things got so serious that even older siblings got to hear of the rivalry. Now Natasha, in fourth grade, had the oldest sibling of the lot. Her brother Bobby was all the way in 9th grade. Bobby was tall and strong - and smart. He got to hear of how fiercely the fourth graders were each claiming the title of 'messiest' and he saw a way of earning himself some money. At break, he lined all sixteen fourth graders up and announced the contest. The contest to see who was the messiest. Each fourth grader would have the whole of Saturday to get their room really, really messy. On Saturday evening and Sunday morning, Bobby would visit each home in turn and judge the rooms on various mess-criteria, of which he had made a list he read out. The last criterion was 'any other you can think of' to give the kids scope for imagination. Each kid would pay fifty cents to compete, and the winner of messiest kid would get half the takings. (In addition, Bobby knew that he'd get snacks from some of the parents when he visited the houses.) It shows how much the fourth graders wanted to be messiest that nobody balked at paying out fifty cents. Sam didn't have the money but Bobby accepted his pet toad, Trevor, instead. The toad didn't count as money for the winner's share, he clarified. Parents were surprised to find their fourth graders spending the whole of Saturday indoors, in their respective rooms. It was a lovely day but nobody was playing baseball or swimming or cycling. Some parents called other parents and found that all kids were indoors. What's more, they didn't let their parents into their rooms, which were locked from the inside. "It's a surprise," they called out in answer to knocks. One or two of the kids didn't even emerge for meals or snacks, getting the parents really worried. The time to judge came. Bobby put on his second-best Superman T-shirt and went to the first house, Lionel's. After a 10-minute inspection and a 5 minute cookie break, Lionel scored a mess measure of 5.6. He was disappointed and tried to dispute it, but the judge said - no arguments. Betty scored 6.4 and was pleased, at least she'd done better than Lionel. The bluberry jam on her pillow had been all her own idea. Philip had got his dog to jump in the mud and roll on his bed, earning him 8.5. A cheer went up from his supporters. Bobby was getting quite efficient, and, with his stomach full from the first couple of snacks, having less breaks. They managed to get 12 houses judged on Saturday. It was exhausting, but rewarding. The next day, they began with Srujanika's house. The door was opened by Philip's sister Mary, who was babysitting Srujanika's toddler brother. Srujanika opened her bedroom door with a flourish. Everyone gaped. The bedroom was the neatest, cleanest one they had ever seen in their lives. Everything was in its place. There were freshly laundered sheets on the bed, and sweet-smelling pillow covers on the pillows. The rug was brand new. The windows had been washed, the door handles shone. The Principal's own bedroom couldn't have been tidier. "But - but - I didn't - " Srujanika stuttered. "I messed it and left it messy and slept on the sofa ..." Bobby gazed into the spotless, gleaming room. He looked at Srujanika. Then, he reached out a hand and caught hold of Philip. "Are you behind this?" he asked. "Me?" Philip blurted. "Me?" Holding Philip tightly, Bobby led the fourth graders to the living room. "Mary," Bobby said, "did Philip ask you to tidy Srujanika's room so that he would win messiest room?" "Srujanika's room? I haven't been near there. I've been here with the baby." It was no use. The room had been tidied. The baby and the babysitter were the only ones there. The baby could hardly walk, let alone tidy a room. The evidence was irrefutable. The brother had colluded with his sister to tidy the room so he'd win the contest. It was no use protesting their innocence, nobody believed them. The contest was cancelled. Bobby returned half the entry fee to each contestant. Philip and Mary were branded 'room tidiers' and shunned by all. Mary even became unpopular in the sixth grade, with her own classmates. Nobody wants to associate with a room tidier. The following weekend, Srujanika's Grandma came visiting. "You weren't here last Sunday when I came. Mrs. Dalton wanted me to give her moral support because she was singing in church for the first time, and I was early and had to come right by your house. So I popped in with my spare key and tidied your room for you. I know how much you hate doing it and I thought it would be a nice surprise. My, you had got it messy. Was that pizza sauce on the mirror? I'm glad your Mom didn't see it that way!" |